Meet the World’s Very First Sex Robot, Roxxxy, a giant, synthetic woman with a real skeleton who can talk about soccer and cars while simultaneously giving you a sparking H job.
And for the bargain price of $9,000 (to a virgin, a small price to pay), you can even customize your sex robot with unique personalities. Take the above lass, as an example, who has been programmed to say “Don’t touch me there,” “No means no,” and “Hello, police? This is a sex robot.” Indeed, it marks the first time in history a robot has actually been scarred for life.
Seen next to our favorite PTSD Robo-Whore is Douglas Hines, the man smart enough and sexually frustrated enough to actually put this vagstrosity together in his replica Silence of the Lambs basement. In fact, we’re not entirely sure Douglas isn’t a nerd robot built to assemble a sex robot. This is some Terminator M.C. Escher sh*t goin’ down right here.
But don’t feel left out, ladies!! A male sex robot named Rocky is said to hit the market in the coming months. No word yet if one would be able to program Rocky to tell us how beautiful we are, pour red wine into a glass, soon by a fire and then stick around after the baby is born.
