FebruaryClick To Enlarge
As the incomparable Richard Lawson put it, it’s like a fun celebrity version of “Where’s Waldo Minute Kristen Wiig.” Click on the above version to count up how many of the nominees you can recognize. I counted 21 plus the Gold Man himself. I also gave myself a headache looking at it. Win/win!
Those of you too lazy/blind to go through the entire list, we’ll save you the trouble and post the only thing worth noting:
FebruaryHere’s a flier for a “Learn To Speak English” meetup in Tel Aviv, Israel, featuring the most attention-grabbing and wholly appropriate movie reference on the subject:
Attention gotten! I can’t read the Hebrew part, but I’m pretty sure this is designed teach you English. Or it might be a meetup to casually discuss the differences between Israeli and American McDonald’s, I can’t really tell. You know in Israel, they call it a “Royale With No Cheese”.
The NSFW version is after the jump if you need it, motherf- sorry, sorry:
February
The internet is such a vast vacuum of opinion and information, many times it feels like an endless succubus of time and energy. But once in a rare while, the winds of trend will meet in the middle of these infinite digital abyss and form something truly special. This is one of those times.
Here is Lana Del Rey’s “Hunger Games” as performed by Holly Laurent.
It proves a few things:
1. Almost anyone can sound like Lana Del Rey if they put they’re mind to it.
2. I want to legitimately listen to this song on my personal music listening device, and I don’t care if you judge me.*
3. A pita is a pouch of bread, but that’s his name.
4. *Of course I care.
(The Fab Life has got all the lyrics, for those interested.)
February
Here’s a short clip of director and best-voice-ever-haver Werner Herzog just completely laying into chickens for being stupid. It is equal parts hilarious, random, and sounds automatically deep and philosophical because that’s just what you’re used to hearing in that voice (when it’s not reading vulgar childrens’ books). Chickens – prepare to be HERZOGGDEDED.
Can we get this guy on the next Comedy Central Roast? “The enormity of Jeff Ross’ stupiditee is just oahvahwelming…”
I deliberately avoided looking up the context for this clip, cause it’s so much better on its own. I assume it’s some weird inappropriate tangent from Into The Abyss, his crushing documentary about death row inmates and the families of their victims.
(via Best Roof Talk Ever – no relation)
February
Here is Beyonce at the after-party for husband and baby daddy Jay-Z’s Carnegie Hall show last night. It’s the first time we’ve seen her since she “had” the “baby.” I’m kidding, of course, she “did” have the baby! And she looks stunning. It’s a look that combined some flattering ruching with a side of Tom Spanx.
But seriously… did she stuff her underwear with some extra padding RuPaul style to pull of that fit mama look? I mean, I can gain 10 pounds in 2 days if the price was right. (That price being zero dollars.) In other words, let the conspiracy theories begin! HOW DOES THIS WOMAN LOOK THIS GOOD?
Another photo ahead. She’s certainly glowing!
February…Because we have to chase him. He’s the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we’ll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he’s not our hero… he’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector… a Dark Knight. Also he is a potato and you can pop his limbs off and it’s super fun.
Behold, Gotham’s morally ambiguous starchy protector, The Dark Knight Spud:
Intimidating! The Potato-Head-ified Dark Knight is currently selling for $17.99 online, which is a steal for something that so perfectly captures everything about the Christopher Nolan / Christian Bale Batman, right down to that cartoony diagonal smile that Batman is literally making nonstop throughout both films.
Now we just need to slip Potato Head into The Dark Knight Rises and we’ve got a crossover hit:
FebruaryThe front-page headline on Variety.com right now:
Nailed it! Ya gotta real future here, kid…
February
BAFTA is an acronym that stands for The Oscars Of England The British Academy of Film and Television Arts, and this Sunday, they’ll be giving out their film and TV annual awards in London (with Miss Piggy presiding as the red carpet host).
To prep for the ceremony and perfect the celebrity seating arrangement, BAFTA organizers have created a giant Guess Who? gameboard in the audience. So, for example:
“Does your person have short orange hair?
Yes.
Does your person look like a heavenly iridescent gecko?
Yes.
Is it Tilda Swinton?”
“Does your person have a beard?
No.
Does your person exude sexual lightning boats from his tip?
Yes.
Does your person visit me nightly in my dreams, while stroking the sweat off my forehead and cradling me close to his heartbeat, softly singing Whitney Houston’s ‘I Wanna Dance With Somebody’ in my ear?
Um…
Is it Brad Pitt?”
You get the idea! Now you play!
February
Readers of this blog and humans living on planet Earth should now be plenty familiar with Billy Eichner, he of Funny or Die and Fuse fame, the gentleman that screams at random people on the street, sometimes gives them money, and always makes America fall in love with him.
Well this weekend, on behalf of Conan O’Brien and TBS, Billy headed over to Indianapolis to find out the general “street temperature” (not a thing) on Madonna, High Empress Of Halftime. It’s kind of a shame that these words even have to go before this video, because honestly, it’s wasting valuable blog space when really all anyone cares about is watching Billy scream at regular people, Giants cheerleaders, and eventually, SUPERBOWL WINNERS the NY GIANTS themselves.
Billy Eichner is brilliant and I bet also has a beautiful singing voice. Enjoy.
February
I often tell the personal trainer who doesn’t come over to my house because he is fiction, “You know who I want to look like? The poster boy for the Bodies Exhibit. Lean, fit, healthy… that guy is allllright.” I then look in the mirror and realize I’ve Mrs. Doubtfired my face in mashed potatoes again and Thanksgiving is ruined.
Point is, if only there was a way to look like the Bodies Exhibit corpses without actually dying in China 2,000 years ago. And now… there is. Australian clothing store Black Milk Clothing is offering up these muscles leggings for a cool 75 Australian dollars, a bargain, when you consider how expensive it is to get live-skinned these days.
The best part about these leggings? They completely mask camel toe:
Michelle Collins
Managing Editor
Dan Hopper
Senior Editor
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