Picture it: You’re the Dad of a famous child star. You’ve dealt with your own drug addiction problems, were embroiled in a messy divorce, and have since found God. So what do you do when your famous daughter, damaged after years of both familial and substance abuse, calls you in clear, mumbled, jumbled distress?

Well, if you’re Michael Lohan, he with the sheer mesh tees, you release those tapes to Radar Online.

Indeed, Lindsay Lohan called her Dad, and in her usual, Tweet-familiar way, doesn’t make top much sense as she sobs about people not caring about her in between deep, gutteral sobs. It’s a shame for Lindsay, really. Here you have a girl, born beautiful and with more than a little bit of talent, literally ruined because of the garbage that raised her. It’s the kind of crying you really only hear coming out of the Botox room on a woman’s 45th birthday, i.e. heartwrenching.

So why would Father Michael send this to the press? You could argue that it’s to let the world know that Lindsay really does have emotional problems. But who is to blame for that, Dad? And would good will this call bring to the table? Anyone who follows Lilo on Twitter knows she’s unstable to the brink of insanity. There has to be a better way to fight the battle.

Anyway, if you’re the kind of person who takes pleasure in listening to rich people cry, you can address your thank you notes to Michael Lohan, c/o Probably in Prison, 1234 Skeez Blvd., West Coast, America, 911.

Click on the image to listen to the call.