Look, Zac Efron, let’s talk for a second. OK, listen, just because I happened to watch the movie 17 Again 3 times in a row on my way back from the Middle East a couple of weeks ago, and just because I couldn’t help but Harajuku-laugh my way through each showing thanks to your adorable self-awareness and timing, doesn’t mean I just wallpapered my ceiling with this photo of you, because I’m pretty sure that’s illegal!! Hahaha. Stop looking at me like that.
But how dare — how dare – you put your life and the lives of millions of young boys and girl in danger with the following stunt: You bungee jumped your ass off the top of a giant cliff while filming The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud. And you did so with the littlest of cares! Without reservation!! You just threw your tiny little ass almost directly into Heaven’s waiting room!
Can you imagine what would have happened if that delicate bungee snapped in two, sending your lean, tanned body careening into the luckiest damn river in all the world? I’ll tell you what would have happened… (Warning: Explicitly violent GIF ahead.) THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.
We’re glad you’re still with us. Here’s to hoping you and Matthew Perry team up again in the near to very near future.
