If you missed it on VH1 at 11pm, here’s Best Night Ever with Paul F. Tompkins!
Archive for January 24th, 2008
JanuaryThursday
…OF THE DAY
- PROFESSIONAL HELP: Amy Winehouse has officially entered rehab. I just… can’t… think of a joke for this. Anyone? Maybe something from one of her songs? Looks like she’s back to black…rehab?? Man, this is tough. (Us Magazine)
- PROFESSIONAL HELP PART 2: Professional therapists are urging the media to stop diagnosing Britney. They’re probably just lashing out because they were all molested as children and also bipolar. (CNN)
- ENSEMBLE CAST: Sam Mendes directing a movie written by Dave Eggers, starring John Krasinski? Why not just throw in Will Arnett and Zach Galifianakis while we’re at it and just call the film “Generally Well-Liked Dudes”? (Entertainment Weekly)
- BIZARRO CELEBS: If Victoria Beckham and Dita Von Teese walked into one another, would they just cancel each other out? Or would it be a Key Master / Gate Keeper situation? (Sun UK)
- GOOD IDEA: A Dutch politician is planning on airing a film he produced which equates the Koran to Mein Kampf, adding “I believe that our culture is far better than the retarded Islamic culture.” If history is any indication, this’ll all be forgotten about in a couple days, possibly minutes. (Fox News)
JanuaryThursday
C.A.N.T. IN SUNDANCE: CelebriWii
Our travels were long and grueling, but at long last, myself and the rest of the Celebrity Action News Team finally made our way to the independent film promised land of the Sundance Film Festival. We’ve got some great videos and coverage coming up today, tomorrow and through next week, but here’s a quick rundown of our adventure so far.
LL Cool J was on our flight, but he was huge, and had a big scary hood over his head, just like in the “Momma Said Knock You Out” video, so I was too terrified to ask him for a photograph, or an explanation of what the letters in his name stand for.
Moments after our arrival in Park City, we were walking down the streen and passed THE one and only Neil Young. He and his beautiful muttonchops were in too much of a hurry for a photo or interview op, but Crosby Stills Nash and Young are playing a concert tomorrow night, so I still have another chance to get the Awesomest Facebook Photo Ever.
I met Cheryl Hines from Curb Your Enthusiasm outside of the Nintendo Wii Lounge (from where I’m currently writing this dispatch), and she was lovely, and cool enough to take a picture with me (we didn’t have a video camera). We’re now hoping to engage in some stiff Wii competition with a few more famous people, so stay tuned for more photos and videos from that, because we’ll be continuing our coverage of everything Sundance is about – corporate product tie-ins and celebrities!
A few more photos are after the jump!
JanuaryThursday
Meet The Celebrity Action News Team
Here’s our first video field report, in which C.A.N.T. finds Sundance, and finds out some of the big buzz films at this year’s festival!
JanuaryThursday
Meet The Star of “Barcelona Nueve-Zero-Dos-Uno-Zero”, Juan Garcia
I’m not quite sure what the “deal” is with Spanish model Juan Garcia Postigo, who we came across while scrolling through thousands of photos on Getty Images, microfiche-at-the-libes-in-middle-school style. We’re not sure what it is about him that caught our attention: The baby-soft Mozart skin dotted with silky stubble, the fistfuls of wavy hair just begging to be coiffed, the two jacuzzi eyes… hypnotizing… me… (snooze)
Perhaps what really caught our attention was that Juan Garcia Postigo is Spain’s answer to Jason Priestley (with a hint of Paul Rudd, to be sure.) Which led me to wonder, what if Spain was currently airing some sort of Bizarro version of 90210? Which was also starring Spain’s answer to Shannon Doherty… Shannon Doherty?
And now, a very special episode of Barcelona Nueve-Zero-Dos-Uno-Zero… starring Juan Garcia as Brandon Walshridguez and Shannon Doherty as Brenda Walshridguez:
Brenda Walshridguez: (Spoken with a deep and gutteral voice) ¿Usted sabe qué más usted es?
Brandon Walshridguez: (Spoken with an even deeper and more gutteral voice) Bueno, Bren, si usted no puede decir algo agradable…
Brenda Walshridguez: Seriamente, Brandon…
Brandon Walshridguez: ¿La autorización, Bren, qué más es yo?
Brenda Walshridguez: No importa cómo estuvo enloquecido y doblado de forma conseguà siempre, usted estaba siempre allà para mà y nunca me olvidaré de ella. Usted realmente es mi mejor amigo.
Brandon Walshridguez: (Said while clutching his heart on his death bed) Y espero… (swallow) que esté siempre. (Cue death music.)
(Translated from a real 90210 quote via Babelfish. Babelfish: Letting Your Spanish Teachers Know You Cheated On Your Papers For Over 4 Years.)
p.s. Does the fact that Lil Juany was voted Mister World 2007 — i.e. is a Pageant King — ruin the magic a little? Sadly, yes. When you’ve been featured on a website called Hunk Du Jour, the magic is all but dead.
JanuaryThursday
Reality TV People Say The Darndest Things
From JOSSIP — Reality TV stars really know how to strut for the camera. This week, there were a few “quotable” moments. Check out these silly sayings, after the jump!
JanuaryThursday
IN ODDER NEWS: Corey Worthington, Working Man
- Corey Worthington is now a professional party-thrower, and will be DJ’ing several upcoming parties all across Australia. What’s the Over/Under on number of times partygoers yell “I’m not taking off my glasses?” at him? I’m saying ten million.
- Virgin has unveiled the plans for their personal spacecrafts, with Richard Branson declaring that “2008 will be the year of the spaceship.” Virgin’s revised Zodiac calanders will be distributed throughout Asia this February.
- Alicia Keys’ new album As I Am topped the charts this week, but had the second-lowest number of copies sold for a #1 album in Billboard history. Could this be the first sign that the record industry might be in some trouble?
- Rich from the country duo Big & Rich is releasing a solo album. Here’s hoping he finds the same solo success as Garfunkel, Oates, Croft, Dunn, and Kross.
- You might think the Major League Soccer Draft would be really boring, and you’d be right. If you tacked on a couple F-words to the word “boring”.
[EDIT: According to this, "MELBOURNE party teen Corey Delaney - also known by his birth name Corey Worthington - has resurfaced after a week out of the media spotlight." Mystery solved. We'll keep calling him Worthington, for BWE consistency]
JanuaryThursday
Boy George Sees Himself In Winehouse… UuuuuhNot Literally!
The Towleroad blog has an interesting quote from Should-Be-A-Sir Boy George, who claims that he sees a lot of himself in Amy Winehouse:
“I love Amy Winehouse. She looks as it she should be in ‘Hairspray‘, the pencil skirt, the beehive, always slightly dizzy. She reminds me of myself in the early days of Culture Club. She really inspired me to sing again.”
And you know… we never really noticed the similarities! These two are… wait for it…
See also this list, somehow related.
JanuaryThursday
BROADWAY SLANG: The Eff-It Point
Clay Aiken made his Broadway debut in Spamalot this past week, which offically means that the Tony-Award-winning musical has passed The Eff-It Point.
What is the Eff-It Point, you ask? Why, it’s the highly useful term I’ve just invented to refer to the point where a Broadway show that once sustained itself on its story, music, and buzz, finally just says “ahhhh, f*ck it” and starts casting mediocre celebrities in lead roles to bolster their marquee and grab the attention of easily impressed, money-having tourists. Or non-tourists. Pretty much anyone who’s stupid and has money, I guess.
What follows — for all you foolish people who went to college for something other than Theatre and thus likely don’t have a job where you can spend hours writing blog posts about made-up theater terminology — is an extensive (albiet incomplete) list of some of the more flagrant Eff-It points in recent Broadway history:
Rent (opened February 13, 1996)
The Deal: A dynamic, progressive New-York-centric rock opera that became massively successful on Broadway, on worldwide tours, and in the colorful AIM profiles of many people who had never seen a musical without “Miserables” in the title.
The Eff-It Point: August 5, 2002 — N’SYNC alum Joey Fatone is cast in the role of Mark after the director’s original plan of pulling the audience out of the story by having cast members literally go into the crowd, grab people, and physically drag them out of the story, is discarded for being a bit too on-the-nose.
Chicago (revival opened November 14, 1996)
The Deal: A hugely successful revival of Bob Fosse’s sultry Prohibition-era dark comedy results in a 2002 film adaptation and a subsequent Best Picture Oscar.
Eff-It Point: September 4, 2004 — After the Oscar win, Broadway decides to not confuse rabid tourists by having them show up at the theater and seeing actors they don’t recognize; in the musically-nondemanding role of Billy Flynn, Broadway casts Wayne Brady, followed by Huey Lewis, John O’Hurley, Usher, and Bryan McKnight in succession, thus giving adults one detail they can talk about over 10 pm drinks at the ESPN Zone besides admitting they liked the movie better.
JanuaryThursday
Monumental Moments For Colbert
From COMEDY CENTRAL INSIDER — Art has gone awry down in Myrtle Beach. Well, not really. Someone created a sand sculpture with an air of superiority down south. Check out the eyebrow-raising photo, after the jump!
