GQ Magazine has revealed it’s 2008 Men of the Year recipients, 4 of whom are lucky enough to get their own cover and in-depth interviews. Those four men include future Prez Barack Obama, Olympian Michael Phelps, Mr. Earth Leonardo DiCaprio, and Mad Men star Jon Hamm.
Let’s take a look at those covers now, shall we?
Which now leads us to ask: Which of these GQ Men of the Year would you do first? This post is seriously not meant to be funny. We really need to know. Our picks ahead.
Let’s start from the bottom up (heyo), and kick this off with the GQ Man We’d Least Like To Do… Coming in at number 4…
4. Michael Phelps, aka “The White D’Angelo.”
Look, Michael, we don’t care how unbelievable cut your g-damned pelvic bone is — even if that pelvic bone CAN FLIP OVER CAR AND RESCUE BABIES we wouldn’t care — because, unfortunately, every other thing about you turns us off. So what, you have a few medals? Big deal. I won 3rd place in a violinist competition in 6th grade (out of three people) and I’ve got the tiny plastic trophy to prove it. Do you know how to play the violin? Exactly.
So keep plastering that bronzed pubis all over magazine covers and the internet and our dreams and our tv screens. Because it just won’t matter: We still do not want to do you over Jon Hamm. (Yes, literally.) (Note to GQ Editors: Cutting his face out of the above photo seems cruel and usual.)
3. Leonardo DiCaprio, i.e. “Mr. If Loving The Earth is Wrong, I Don’t Wanna Be Leo.”
Leo’s downfall this year was two-fold: Not only is he facing unbeatable competition, but we’ve always found that little “i” in his last name extremely emasculating. But we’re not going to lie: We’ve always love Leo, ever since having coffee next to him a few years back and sitting still, coffee cup the the lips, ears fully satellited, hoping to eavesdrop even a single word. And if Barack ever gains 500 pounds or once Mad Men is cancelled, he will surely, once again, be at the tops of our list.
Also, he has the best quote of the bunch:
“How great is YouTube? Endless entertainment. Endless! Every day. You can type in anything, like ‘frogs getting laid,’ and they have, like, 70 clips. It’s fabulous.”
Well, OK, there are only 29 clips.. but he has a point.
2. Barack Obama, aka “Mr. President.”
We’re guessing many of you are putting Barack at the top of your list, so that you may put the following bragging rights on a cafepress t-shirt: I Did The First African-American President of the United States.” And, for this, we do not blame you. There is very little not to love about our future Prez. For starters, he is a modest genius (note: This is the best kind of genius.) For enders, he is (read in Sarah Palin accent) absolutely ADORABLE. HIGHLY DOABLE! Even if he wears Seinfeld jeans.
Unfortunately for Barack, this was one race that could not be put in the bag. And this is because he is up against the most doable man on Planet Earth…
1. Jon Hamm, aka “Mr. Draper”.
What can we say? There’s really nothing TO say. In less than 2 years, Mad Men‘s Jon Hamm went from just your regular, doable struggling actor to easily THE most doable MAN in the WORLD. The elegance! The ease! The machismo! The face/body/clothes/voice/attitude!! And as SNL proved, he also has a great sense of humor, thereby increasing his doability to almost the 1,241,100,000,000 decimal of Ï€ (pi)! (The current record)
Will you look at him? That has to be the LUCKIEST piece of wheat since God decided he wanted some bread and invented the f**king stuff.
OPEN THREAD TIME: Which of These GQ Men Of The Year Would You Do First? Understanding nod to the first person who says Michael Phelps.
