It’s been a while since we’ve taken the time to watch American Idol this season. So let’s just flip the ol’ telly over to Fox and take a listen… one second… here we go, American Idol. Yup, there’s Simon, looking good. Paula‘s taking a mid-show nap — good for her — and Randy is still looking like a lesbian on Maury. Ohh… here is the next contestant… Amanda Overmyer. Hmm, she’s only 23. A bright young talent on the cusp of making it big! Let me just grab that bag of Pop Secret from the ol’ cancer hotbox, kick back, and see what I’ve been missing this season… I hope she’s good!
Oh.
Jesus.
Sweet.
Dear.
Christ.
It’s good to know that I still haven’t missed anything. Well, back to sharpening the spikes on my grapefruit spoon and scooping all memories of humanity directly out of my earholes. In other news, thank God Millionaire Matchmaker is on!
