Since the invention of Youtube, the internet has been overrun with videos of folks trying to cover the world’s most popular songs. And since the invention of Youtube, millions of people have sat at their compters “LMAO”-ing at these attempts to recreate the melodies of others. Sure, some covers can be brilliant, but certain artists or tunes just should not be attempted by your average American. Which is why BWE.tv is taking it upon themselves to compile a list of the Top 10 Most Impossible Songs to Cover, with video evidence of course. So set up your microphone noose and get to reading!
10. Snow – Informer
The following video is proof of a few things: 1. White rap should not exist. 2. Webcams should not exist. 3. The term “licky-boom-boom-down” should never, ever be sung by a skully clad ex-AV club prez. Check out any of the numerous “Informer” covers on Youtube, and you will see that no matter how exact or precise the singer is at getting the fast-paced lyrics right, they still look like a jerk-off. Also, is anyone else extremely curious as to “What the Deal Is?” with the medieval ax hanging on the wall behind him? One can only assume this guy raps his favorite 90s tune to his victims before hacking them into eternal silence.
9. Britney Spears – Gimme More
“Gimme More” would actually be a fantastic song to cover… if it weren’t for the deep-voiced “Mooooore”’s that pop-up throughout it. Try watching the following video and figuring out whether the sweet-voiced gentlemen is actually singing or experiencing the after-effects of shotgunning a Diet Dr. Peppy with a Green Pepper chaser.
After the jump, the Top 8 Most Impossible Songs to Cover, featuring some delightfully NSFW lyrics!
8. Amy Winehouse – Rehab
Try to cover Amy Winehouse, we say “No, No, No.” Unless you’re laying on your deathbed with a heroin needle dangling out of your tear duct and a trademarked “pool-o-blood” pillow, “Rehab” probably isn’t the song for you. And who better to prove this theory than talk-show-host-cum-blogger Rosie O’Donnell, who clocks in at 46 awkward facial expressions a second.
7. Don McLean – American Pie
Anyone got a spare 47 minutes? Perfect! because I know just the song to keep you entertained…
6. Linkin Park – Crawlin
Frankly, the only time the song “Crawlin” should ever be covered is when said performer has a deeply lodged stool they are trying to pass. Otherwise, it’s a one-way ticket to Aneurysm City, population 2: You and Louis Anderson. Note how the fella below doesn’t even know the actual words (we’re pretty sure he’s saying “These goons, they will not steal”), and how propping one leg up automatically ups his loneliness level by 50.
5. Daft Punk – Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
Full disclosure: There really aren’t that many people brave enough to cover this song, as it is most definitely sung by robots who may or may not be killer. However, one college A Capella group was certainly brave enough to venture into desolate apocalypse territory, with this rendition of the tune. While these fellas are lucky enough to have a dozen voices with which to create the melody, we dare any one person to try and cover this song by themselves without having a a-system oooverlewd.
4. Old Dirty Bastard – Baby, I Got Your Money (NSFW)
Let’s be honest for a second: The only reason why the incredibly demeaning and cuss-ridden song “Baby, I Got Your Money” is acceptable to add to your Ipod is because the name of the singer is “Old Dirty Bastard.” Change the guy’s name to Clarence, make him white, put him in a dress and throw in some ukelele accompaniment, and what would normally be a classy song from which to grind up against an assuming stranger to turns into yet another example of white people ruining things (just like Kangol hats and Usher.)
3. Radiohead – Knives Out
“Hey Ma! Cat’s in heat again!” And ps: Your Thom Yorke head twitches aren’t earning you any point with the ladies… or humanity. One essential thing to remember when covering a song: Try to pick a tune with just that… a tune.
2. Anything by Slipknot
A scary mask plus 3 minutes of shrieking do not a Slipknot cover make. In fact, no one should ever attempt to sing Slipknot, unless they’re being forced to in some sort of perverted Guantanamo torture scenario. This rule applies double if you are under 13 years effing old, as the following children demonstrate. Does Kidz Bop know about these kids??
1. Riskay – Smell Yo D*ck (NSFW)
On second thought, make “Smell Yo D*ck” the #1 song to always cover whenever humanly possible, especially on holidays and at elementary school talent shows. But especially when you’re home alone in your house at 3 am and you don’t even know the words. Especially then. Finally, make sure to close your eyes when singing the song’s title line to make it much. less. creepy. Did someone say Office Party Karaoke Song?
Feel free to add any other Impossible Songs to Cover in the comments, whether you have video evidence of yourself or others proving your point to be true.
