Today is May 14, 2007, which not only means that Holy Sh*t, where has my youth gone?, it also means that basketball legend Michael Jordan has been single for 5 months and 15 days, a number which is, frankly, disturbing. After all, this is Michael Jordan, the man who wakes up in the morning and yawns and stretches while simultaneously dunking two shotputs into hoops placed directly above his headboard. The fact that this star of court and screen is newly single means that lucky ladies all over town are fighting tooth and nail to land this hunky sports star. The guy is 6’6″ tall, and you know what that means ladies! The sex is going to be…. awkward as hell. Though, you know what would make it more awkward? If you threw some doody bubbles in! Because Michael Jordan and Whitney Houston were getting freaky together on a dance floor in the Bahamas this weekend… and according to our Chuch Woolery 8-Ball, it’s a
serious Love Connetch:
Hoop legend Michael Jordan stayed upright – at least in public – but was definitely enjoying the scenery around the pool, especially one blond. Fancy-free Jordan didn’t miss the chance to dance with newly single Whitney Houston.
Sure, the item didn’t elaborate any further as to the rest of the night. Such as, for example, if Jordan was seen giving Whit a sky-high piggyback ride back up to his room where the two made sweet, celebrity love for hours on end. But do they even need to say it? The way we see it, Jordan is a healthy step up from Bobby Brown, whose doody bubbles were most certainly not together. For god’s sake, Bobby didn’t even have his own cologne, and forget about sneakers! The only thing named after Bobby Brown are the dozens of illegitimate children he has sprinkled around the country.
Then again, Jordan and Ashanti are looking pretty cozy here… And Michael was seen later on in the evening getting cozy with this lady:
Oh, wait… that’s Steven Tyler. (Seriously, is Carly Simon accounted for? I have my fears.) Well at least we know where Liv got her good looks.
