Yesterday, we asked you to create your best Tina Turner Blingee. Today, we bring you our 25 Favorite. IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER (so please calmmm downnnn):
24. Courtney
DecemberThursday
Greatest Headline In NY Post History?
I’m not quite sure it tops “Hey, union jerks, enjoy your island getaway — Rikers!” during the MTA transit strike, but it is dayymn close.
Gawker beat us to it, but if anything is worth seeing twice (or fifteen times), it’s this.
DecemberWednesday
BWE HO-BITCH-UARIES: Ike Turner Dead at 76
World, some sad news to report: America’s Favorite Wife-Slapper Ike Turner has passed away at the age of 76. Ike Turner will forever be remembered as a few things: The maniacal abuser portrayed by Laurence Fishburne in What’s Love Got to Do With It? (the Tina Turner biopic), the hilarious abuser portrayed by Tim Meadows on Saturday Night Live, and as the wife abusing punch line to one of Chris Rock’s best O.J. Simpson related joke. Apparently, he also wrote music? Who knew!
Ike Turner, whose role as one of rock’s critical architects was overshadowed by his ogrelike image as the man who brutally abused former wife and icon Tina Turner, died Wednesday at his home in suburban San Diego. He was 76.
“He did pass away this morning” at his home in San Marcos, in northern San Diego County, said Scott M. Hanover of Thrill Entertainment Group, which managed Turner’s musical career. There was no immediate word on the cause of death.
His image is forever identified as the drug-addicted, wife-abusing husband of Tina Turner. He was hauntingly portrayed by Laurence Fishburne in the movie “What’s Love Got To Do With It,” based on Tina Turner’s autobiography.
Question: Is it now officially passe to jokingly shove a piece of cake into a loved ones face? And if so, what reason do we now have to live, or at the very least, eat cake?
Anyways, in honor of the better times, here’s a video of Ms. Tina Turner and Ike Turner singing “Proud Mary”. It is, how do you say, “fierce.”:
JulyMonday
10 Ways YOU Can Celebrate Ike Turner Day!
Music legend Ike Turner was all set to have a day named after him in St. Louis — that is, until the mayor of the city decided it wasn’t in their best interests to name a day after a man who admits he may have punched ex-wife Tina Turner in the face, but he never beat her. Alas, St. Louis will not be celebrating Ike Turner day. But that doesn’t mean you can’t! Here are 10 easy ways YOU can celebrate Ike Turner Day!
10. Give your daughter Twanna Melby a call. Then wonder how stoned you were when you named her Twanna Melby. (Note: If you do not have a daughter named Twanna Melby, get preggers, have a girl, name her Twanna Melby, and follow this step roughly 20 years from now.)
9. Have sex with a lady — whether she likes it or not. If she doesn’t, shut her up nice and good.
8. Track down Tina Turner’s whereabouts and insist she come home. When she refuses, ask her if she can at least send you $10.
7. Roll down a river.
6. Bake a delicious cake, layer it with icing, write “Happy Ike Turner Day” across the top of it in big letters, then forcefully shove 7 servings of it into the nearest mouth of a loved on. Make sure to get some icing in his or her nose and eyes.
5. Go to your dry-cleaner and get your hair professionally ironed.
4. Punch a woman in the face – don’t beat her though!
3. Convert to Judaism. Mazel Tov, muthaf**ka!
2. Marry an Ikette… then punch her in the face.
1. Three words: Comb! That! Mustache!
(To order your very own cake hat, click here.)
MayThursday
While You Were Preparing To Hear A Lot More Beatboxing
- American Idol shocked us last night by giving judge-favorite Melinda Doolittle her walking papers. After being told she was voted off, Doolittle responded with her trademark humility, saying, “Really? Little old me? Aww, shucks, thank you so much!”
- Jessica Simpson’s dad has given John Mayer his seal of approval, though he says she’ll always prefer a father’s touch.
- Ike Turner was arrested after a drug warrant that was issued and recalled in the late 80’s was mistakenly never removed from the court system’s computer. He’s just lucky they didn’t find out about that whole wife-beating thing, either.
- Send out happy thoughts to The Office’s Jenna Fischer, who fell down and fractured her back in four places at the NBC Upfronts this week after hearing that her beloved George Lopez Show had been cancelled.
- Jessica Alba says she is, like, so over being hot. Now she’s just really into looking like an emaciated retarded person.
SeptemberWednesday
Meredith Viera v. Ike Turner: Let the Hazing Begin
So, as the universe is aware, this morning was Meredith Viera’s first day at NBC’s Today Show. And they certainly wasted no time submerging Viera in Today’s time-honored tradition of pitting greedy couples against one another to win a free wedding. But leave it to Matt Lauer, hot, sexy, buff man of men Matt Lauer, to let the ritual Today Show hazing kick in and turn all Ike Turner on Viera’s ass. Katie Couric would nevah — NEVAH! — stand for that kinda crap. Nam myoho renge kyo, ya’ll. Nam myoho renge kyo.
