I have a habit of swearing and throwing crap at the tv screen when I’m watching football games (a very rare attribute amongst football fans), but this Sunday, my angriest moment actually came during a commercial break, when I witnessed a new commercial for mineral water which featured the Who song “Sparks,” one of the instrumentals from Tommy.

Now, I’m not one to misguidedly deem every band that licenses its songs to commercials a “Sellout,” but that being said, when a band licenses EVERY SINGLE ONE OF ITS SONGS to commercials, occasionally two and three times over, it’s pretty hard not to immediately reach for the S-word. It’s time we admitted it to ourselves: The Who — the motherf***ing WHO — are now basically on the level of sellout punchlines like U2 and Aerosmith, although given their original uber-legitimacy and youthful railing against the establishment, I would argue that their fall into commercial royalty oblivion is far more despicable than those other two much maligned iPod-cover-inspirers. Consider:

“Bargain” was featured in a commercial for Nissan Pathfinder. Because the Nissan Pathfinder is a bargain.

“Happy Jack” was featured in a commercial for Hummer. Because Jack is happy when he gets into his own mini Hummer and drives straight down a hill, thus winning that bizarre “Billy Elliot” kiddie race.

“Pinball Wizard” was featured in a commercial for Saab. Because Saab cars handle so well, you can drive them even if you are deaf, dumb and blind, and you don’t even need to possess otherworldly, destractionless pinball-playing proficiency.

“Baba O’Reilly” was featured in commercials for Hewlett-Packard and Cisco. Because The Who clearly do not give the slightest sh*t about anything anymore.

“I Can See For Miles,” a track from the once sardonically titled The Who Sell Out, was featured in a commercial for Sylvania headlights. That’s right, headlights. Because headlights allow you to literally see for miles and miles, which is what they say in the song, “I Can See For Miles.” My. Effing. God.

This list isn’t even counting The Who’s entire Who’s Next album being available for purchase in the game Rock Band, or, considerably worse, the band allowing Hilary Duff to cover “My Generation” and change the lyric “I hope I die before I get old” to “I HOPE I DON’T DIE BEFORE I GET OLD.”

How long before we see “Behind Blue Eyes” in an ad for Ray-Ban? How about an ad for Best Buy in which a Geek Squad member installs a new HDTV in fast motion to the tune of “A Quick One, While He’s Away?” Or maybe they could just throw “Fiddle About” in a commercial about an uncle molesting his nephew, then it somehow turns out to be for Dr. Pepper? Limitless possibilities here, guys!

Would I be too out of line to suggest that perhaps this is the reason why The Who wanted to die before they got old?