The folks at Deutsche Bank unveiled a new real-time “Carbon Counter” in downtown Manhattan today, making sure that pedestrians walking around Penn Station now know exactly how screwed the earth’s atmosphere is to the exact metric ton during every second of their lives (FINALLY!)
I don’t have any frame of reference to know if 3.6 trillion metric tons of greenhouse gas is a lot, but it sure sounds like a lot. 3.6 trillion grains of rice is a lot. It’s almost kind of impressive.
Still, there’s no better way to fix this whole environmental deelie than to constantly bum out train travelers, Knicks and Ranger fans, and lost tourists desperately looking for a place to eat that isn’t disgusting. Hopefully they won’t need to add an extra digit anytime soon.
If this is what global warming will do to our planet then I really wanna figure out a solution soon. Look, I like having a personal smoke stack as much as the next guy, but consequences like the ones in this ad are alarming. See for yourself:
I mean once you go to the zoo as an adult you start to notice some sad faces on animals. But nothing like this. Could we at least set up a hotline for these animals with someone to talk to before they take these drastic measures? That’s probably not the best solution since only the monkey could use it, him being the only one with opposable thumbs. But it’s better than the awful alternative that he uses his hands for here. The only thing more depressing would be if someone put Nine Inch Nails’ Hurt under this video. I don’t even wanna think about that. I did find a version with the Benny Hill show song behind it. That made it mildly less depressing. And if Benny Hill can’t fix it, you know it’s bad.
Move over Al Gore, because there’s a new voice in the American dialogue over the growing threat of global warming. Yes, dancin’ queen John Travolta has decided step up as the latest high-profile celebrity to – without invitation – do everything in thier power to make the legitimate environmental movement look completely retarded. There’s so much crazy in this article that I’m not even sure where to begin. Oh, how about here:
Travolta, a Scientologist, claimed the solution to global warming could be found in outer space and blamed his hefty flying mileage on the nature of the movie business.
“It [global warming] is a very valid issue,” Travolta declared. “I’m wondering if we need to think about other planets and dome cities.
“Everyone can do their bit. But I don’t know if it’s not too late already. We have to think about alternative methods of fuel.”
You guys get all that? Total batsh*t insane Scientology “dome cities & space energy” talk aside, this is all coming from a guy who owns a fleet of FIVE jets (I’m still trying to wrap my brain around why anyone could ever need more than one). Oh, and here’s his eco-friendly Battlefield Earth Alien Compound in Florida:
So yeah, you guys: reduce, re-use and recycle. That sixth jet Travolta has his eye on isn’t going to fuel itself!
Move over Al Gore, because there’s a new voice in the American dialogue over the growing threat of global warming. Yes, dancin’ queen John Travolta has decided step up as the latest high-profile celebrity to – without invitation – do everything in thier power to make the legitimate environmental movement look completely retarded. There’s so much crazy 
