New 90210 Season: Size. Huge. Enormous. Balls. Handle balls. Handle my balls. I like how you are handling those balls. Balls. Hehehehehehehe.
This season, BALLS just got peniser!
AugustTuesday
New Gossip Girl Trailer: “WTF” Stands For “Watch This Fall, Motherf***ers!”
The trailer for the new Gossip Girl season is on the etherwebs, and if you thought those OMFG ads were pushing the envelope, wait’ll you see this use of an abbreviation that usually stands for the F-word!
Just kidding!!! It stands for “Fall.” Not f*ckc*nt.
MayWednesday
CW Pairs 90210 With Melrose Place; British Knights Come Back Into Style
In other news, the earth has gone through a Lost-esque circular time warp, bringing us back to the beginning, or more specifically, the early 90s:
CW is partying like its 1992, slotting its “Melrose Place” revival behind “90210″ on Tuesday nights as part of its sked makeover for the 2009-10 season. And it will send “Smallville” into battle on Fridays to get the net back in biz on the night.
90210 and Melrose Place, together again. There’s only one thing to say in this situation…
JulyThursday
I Am Probably Going To Get Addicted To This Trash
I realize, it looks awful. The acting looks terrible, and the script sounds like it was written just for the preview itself – way way way too awkwardly expository.
Worst lines:
“Maaaybe I can help.”
“Now she’s about to discover, that sometimes you have to lose your way…to find your direction.”
“I think you just tazed our new tutor!”
There are also some age issues going on here. Anne Archer plays a “grandmother” of teenagers who look like they’re 30.
NEVERTHELESS, there is a very strong chance that I will be totally addicted – and cry at least once during every episode – of this new CW show Privileged.
(via ONTD)
MayMonday
TRAILER MIX: 90210 Is Back! With A Slightly Different 90s Guitar Riff!
* B-Roll of Beverly Hills landmarks / palm trees
* Vague, stylistic adjectives (cooler, sexier, more provocative, Beverly-er)
* Every possible configuration of cast members pallin’ around in front of a colorless background
Aaaand that’s a wrap — the trailer for the CW’s new 90210 series is here!
AprilWednesday
Our Early Pick To Win The CW’s “Farmer Wants A Wife” Is… Psycho McEveryRealityShow
The new reality show “Farmer Wants a Wife” premieres tonight on the CW (when I first heard the title, I was expecting it to be one of those “let’s try a reality show too!” shows on the Travel Channel or Versus or something), and by elaborately robbing an armored van a la “Police Academy 6,” we’ve actually managed to obtain a copy of the [extremely highly anticipated] first episode.
Sorry to say, but the show hasn’t even aired yet and it’s already over; 24-year-old Josie — who’s a whiz at STD-claiming and Middle East bombing analogies — has got this show in the bag. Feast your eyes on the Vegas odds-on-favorite to win the competition and become the farmer’s wife for a couple weeks:
