Ever wish you had a magic lamp or Donnie Osmond to make your wildest dreams come true? Look no further than Best Night Ever for Tuesday, March 27th! Katina Corrao has all the answers and the best moments of Tuesday night TV, including: Dirt, American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Work Out and the series premiere of The Great American Dream Vote. ::sigh::Donnie Osmond…
JanuaryWednesday
SIZZLER: Jen Will Become Prettier Than Angelina, Even If It Takes All the Plastic Surgery In the World
How does an independent, fabulous movie actress celebrate fake lesbian kissing one of her friends on TV for attention? According to Us Weekly, Jennifer Anistion followed up her Courtney Cox-Arquette make-out sesh with a little trip to plastic surgeon:
The actress emerged four hours later, but instead of her usual golden glow, she sported fresh black-and-blue bruises along her right eyebrow and across the tip of her nose and upper lip.Aniston’s rep confirms the operation. “Jennifer had a procedure done to correct a deviated septum that was incorrectly done over 12 years ago,†he tells Us Weekly.
Some people enjoy a post-coital cigaratte, while others enjoy having their nose broken and face cut with a knife. It takes all kinds. Anyway, at lest she can check “busted schnozz” off her list of things she has to fix to be prettier than Angelina Jolie. Next up, pumping a bunch of cow cartilage into her lips with a tiny hose in order to achive that pillowy, sensual smile.
JanuaryTuesday
Like All Girls Who Desperately Need Attention, Courtney Cox Resorts to Kissing Her Hot Friend
Sometimes I wonder whether celebrity influences the culture or the culture influences celebrity. Take, for example, this report that Jennifer Aniston will guest star on her friend Courtney Cox-Arquette’s new show Dirt, playing a rival tabloid editor:
“Aniston’s character is a lesbian. What’s more, she won’t just mouth off to Cox’s tightly wound counterpart; she’s going to share a lip lock with her.”
Could this possibly have something to do with the fact that the coveted 18 to 34 year-old male demographic wouldn’t otherwise care about tuning into a show about an aging tabloid editor? It’s nice to know that even A-list actresses aren’t above making out with each other to get the boys to pay attention to them. Be sure to get a group of your guy friends together so you can stand around the TV and cheer while crushing a few brews.
DecemberMonday
While You Were Hiding Your Mistress’s Xmas Gift
- The American Film Institute has named Borat one of the Top 10 Films of the Year, alongside United 93. No joke here, we just want you to start off your morning picturing a world where a movie featuring a naked man-on-man wrestling match gets nominated for an Academy Award. (As it should, p.s.)
- Rosie O’Donnell is telling Asians to “chill out” regarding some “ching-chong” comments she made on The View last week. We’ve been saying for years that the only thing The View is missing is a huge gong and Barbara Walters in a rice paddy hat.
- Britney Spears did some redecorating this weekend, and finally bought drapes to match the carpet.
- Paul McCartney is reported to be scrounging up a sizeable divorce package for ex-wife Heather Mills, in the range of $235 Million, or roughly 1,206,818 half-pedicures.
- Courtney Cox-Arquette has left the door wide-open for a Friends reunion show, in a soon-to-be classic known as “The One Where Everyone Kind of Looks Like Sh*t And Feels Sorry for Themselves.”
