Recently, on one of our weekly American Idol recaps, a commenter pointed out Adam Lambert’s striking similarity to BWE.tv’s former most famous singing satyr, All My Children’s Zarf. We gave a small laugh and pushed that thought aside while watching fan-made Youtube videos of Adam’s stranger, way way way gayer days. “Imagine that… Zarf!” our brains phsawed, and about our daily Lamberting we went.
But the thoughts persisted. Surely, Adam Lambert was the most fabulous thing to ever happen to prime time television. But was he possibly more fabulous than Zarf, the chicken-cutlet-wearing, fake-British-accent-sounding transsexual who turned All My Children into a rousing drama of Shakespearean proportions? This seemed like a quandry that needed loads and loads of investigating. So we ask you, the readers:
WHO IS MORE FABULOUS: Adam Lambert vs. Zarf? Ahead, we’ve pitted the two against each other, using some of our favorite Zarf clips against some or the rarer Lambert performances. Let the flames begin.
ROUND 1:AND WE MEET
ZARF – THE FIRST BREAKDOWN: This is the monologue that started it all… the slinky slip, the big, masculine hands. All it requires of you is to do one simple thing: LOOK AT HIM.
ADAM LAMBERT – THE FIRST BREAKDOWN. This video culled from the bowels of the internet shows a pre-Idol Lambert trying to sway a local crowd with a delightful performance of “Gotta Get Thru This.” It’s light on the robot, but heavy on the fabulous. NOTE: Please remove all dogs from the room before playing.
WINNER: ZARF. Frankly, nothing could beat that monologue. It’s Smithsonian worthy.
Each year, the world’s most famous faces gather at the Metropolitan Museum of Art on New York’s Upper East Side, to show off their finest gowns and dip their toe in the ice-cold sea of self-congratulation at the annual Costume Institute Gala. Last night’s theme was “Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy”, and, as you can imagine, it was a freak parade in the most delicious of ways. So now sit back and enjoy Best Week Ever’s “For Your Consideration at the 2008 Met Costume Institute Gala”:
VAGINALLY ARMPITIEST Beyonce
THE MOST LIKELY TO ANSWER A “WHAT TO WEAR TO AN AMERICAN GLADIATOR’S FUNERAL?” QUESTION Fergie
CERBERUSIEST The Olsens and Christian Louboutin
MOST MOVING TRIBUTE TO THE ULTIMATE SUPERHERO, MESHACH TAYLOR Tilda Swinton and Zarf, We Think
Many More Photos After the Jump… Click ahead to read!
This morning, the 2008 Daytime Emmy Nominationswere announced, and GOOD SWEET LORD our beloved, darling Zarf finally got his due. After being so callously snubbed last year, Emmy Voters finally got with the program and realized that Zarf is a national f**king treasure. Sadly, Zarf, played by actor Jeffrey Carlson, no longer graces the screen as the resident transexual on All My Children, but an Emmy Win would certainly soften that blow.
So please, Emmy voters, take note: Vote for Zarf. He is not nominated for his acting skills, rather his singing abilities… remember that music video for “The Me Inside”? That’s the one nominated for Best — make that OUTSTANDING – Original Song.
And you can check out all of its fabulousness after the jump. Zarfy, we miss you.
BWE.tv’s two perkiest podcasters, Meredith Scardino and Caroline Waxler, bring you the Best Daytime Television Moments of 2007, including nervy b’s from the likes of Tyra, Bob Barker and Ellie Degenz! Which reminds me, I must reschedule my appointment to have myself spayed and neutered… in any case, check out these 2 lovely ladies of Daytime (Podcasting) (Internet) TV!
Check out more of Caroline Waxler’s genius over at MainStreet.com!
First off — tonight is the final brand new episode of Best Week Ever this year! That is, until the super-sized Best YEAR Ever debuts in a couple of weeks, which trust us is the unmissable event of 2007. Moving along, our post-Thanksgiving week was chockful of internet gems. Let’s recap:
We give you the 10 Most Impossible Songs to Cover, which is really just an excuse for us to post that hilarious “Smell Yo D*ck” song sung by some random bored white dude.
The only thing more terrifying than Javier Bardem with a bob? Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau with shoe polish. And so we bring you No Country for Grumpy Old Men.
We here at BWE.tv figure we should capitalize off of the LOL craze with our very own unique version of the childish photo speak. And who better to LOL it up with than our old and sorely missed friend Zarf. Hence, we’d like to present the world with what will hopefully become the next internet craze: LOL My Children. We’ve decided to keep this post Zarf-centric, but might have a Lucci post coming up in the near fyootch!
Here’s Georgette Dee, a German transsexual whose resemblance to Zarf plus 50 years is startling. God, we’re really starting to have serious Zarf-drawal symptoms!
HARRY COUTURE: Apparently even wizards aren’t above wearing an ironic t-shirt. (Fashionista)
TRANNY TRAITS: You know what, Courtney Love IS sort of starting to seem like Zarf. Only more foul-mouthed, drug-addled, and manlier-looking. (TMZ)
THE STRAIGHT DOPE: How To Win at Drug Abuse And Influence Yourself (Without Getting Arrested). Might want to take a gander at this, Linds! (Radar)
WEATHERMASTER: As always, morning weather guy Sam Champion manages to live up to his amazing name. (Gawker)
PRODIGAL FATHER: After disappearing from the show completely for an entire season without explanation, Michael will finally be re-joining the rest of the castaways on Lost. As it turns out, he’s just been wandering around the island, getting high and “trying to find himself”. (CNN)
Sometimes, things are so unbelievably amazing, they defy words. The following music video from All My Children, Zarf singing “The Me Inside”, is one of those things. The only thing we can say? His hair looks amaaaaazing.
PLEASE WATCH THIS. It is a kiki in the truest sense of the word.
This morning, the 2008 Daytime Emmy Nominations 
First off — tonight is the final brand new episode of Best Week Ever this year! That is, until the super-sized Best YEAR Ever debuts in a couple of weeks, which trust us is the unmissable event of 2007. Moving along, our post-Thanksgiving week was chockful of internet gems. Let’s recap:
