While You Were...

June
Monday

While You Were Waking Up to Another Monday

Paul McCartney’s soon to be ex, Heather Mills, once posed for porn pictures, but she it did for the baby seals.
Kristin Cavallari may replace Jessica Simpson in Dukes of Hazzard prequel, and in Hollywood.
Lindsay Lohan drops out of next movie. Luckily her life’s giving us enough entertainment.
Scientology is joining forces with NASCAR. It’s time to evacuate the country.
Tom Green involved in near-deadly fishing accident. Perfect for a Tom Green special.
Avril Lavigne wants to quit singing in order to act. But does she really need a reason?
An OJ Simpson sex tape is rumored to exist. Almost as embarrassing as being on trial for double murder..
Shiloh Nouvel has already received loads in free swag. They’re just giving stuff away at the Playstation/AOL tent in Namibia.

Posted on June 5th, 2006 | Permalink

Categories: Entertainment, While You Were...

Tagged: , Avril Lavigne, Heather Mills, Jessica Simpson, Kristin Cavallari, Lindsay Lohan, Movies, NASCAR, OJ Simpson, Scientology, Sex Tape, Shiloh, Tom Green

June
Friday

While You Were Having the Time Of Your Life

By Best Week Ever

X-Men director Brett Ratner thinks he’s better than Spielberg, but not 1/2 the man that Joe Francis is.
Jay-Z may build a Las Vegas casino, just to keep him busy in his retirement.
Superman may be a dad in his upcoming movie. But we’ll have to wait till the paternity test results are revealed on Maury.
Heath Ledger turns down chance to replace Russell Crowe role in Baz Luhrman movie. Doesn’t want a phone to the face.
Patrick Swayze will be in the London production of Guys and Dolls. Roadhouse the Musical was already cast.
Michael Moore is being sued for misrepresenting a war vet in Fahrenheit 9/11. Vet thought movie was about global warming and Al Gore.
Lindsay Lohan reportedly boozed it up in Vegas with Madonna’s posse last weekend. At least she’s not shopping.
Naomi Campbell is selling her spacious New York condo for over $5 million. For a little more, she’ll even throw in a maid.
Know one knows whether or not Colin Farrell is married, but you can rest assure he doesn’t know either.

Posted on June 2nd, 2006 | Permalink

Categories: Entertainment, While You Were...

Tagged: , Heath Ledger, Jay-Z, Las Vegas, Lawsuits, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Moore, Naomi Campbell, Patrick Swayze, X-Men

June
Thursday

While You Were Canceling Your Jenny Craig Meal Order

By Best Week Ever

Rachel Weisz gives birth to baby boy. Not the new messiah so who cares.
Jamie Foxx has sex everyday for 30 minutes to keep his body in shape, and his ding-dong herpi-fied.
Brad Pitt was scared to death during birth. Not of labor, of impending apocalypse.
Nicole Kidman won’t have sex with Keith Urban until her wedding night. She was married to Tom Cruise for 10 years so she’s probably still a virgin.
Kirstie Alley needs to spend some more quality time with Jenny Craig.
Britney is back in her baby-hurting convertible. But this time Sean won’t set foot inside.
What do you get when you cross a Blue Man with a Playmate and a Carrot Top ? The best season of Surreal Life ever.

Posted on June 1st, 2006 | Permalink

Categories: Entertainment, While You Were...

Tagged: , Brad Pitt, Britney Spears, Jamie Foxx, Kristie Alley, Nicole Kidman, Pregnancy, Surreal Life

June
Thursday

While You Were Dressing for Success

By Best Week Ever

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Tom Petty may sue Red Hot Chili Peppers for ripping him off. But then again Bob Dylan never sued him.
Nelly Furtado is reportedly dating baller Steve Nash. Considered Larry Bird but was just too much like him.
OJ Simpson’s daughter gets community service for fight with police. Like father like daughter.
Denise Richards to become a pussycat doll. Always a good move when you’re trying to win a custody battle.
Jessica Simpson tells Nick he doesn’t have the stomach to sue her. Luckily, abs aren’t nearly important as having a lawyer.
Halle Berry loves kinky sex. So long as it wins her Oscars.
Sambora and Richards may be planning a wedding already, since they’re both so good at marriage.
Keanu Reeves admits to seeing a shrink. But still feels nothing onscreen.
Tina Fey may be leaving SNL now that she has a new show. Look for head writer opportunity on HotJobs.
John Mayer sings about having sex with Jennifer Love Hewitt’s wonderland body. Beat that, Wilmer.

Posted on June 1st, 2006 | Permalink

Categories: Entertainment, While You Were...

Tagged: , Denise Richards, Halle Berry, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, John Mayer, Keanu Reeves, Nelly Furtado, OJ Simpson, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Richie Sambora, Tina Fey, Tom Petty

May
Wednesday

While You Were Thanking Mario for the Add

By Best Week Ever

Dave Grohl tells press I’m not dead. Passive agressive way of saying pay attention to me.
Check out pictures of Taylor Hicks in high school pre-dad hair circa ~~1994~~ 1964.
Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton in a pub fight…with buxom vampire cartoons.
Beyonce loses 20 pounds for a film role. Still bootylicious but half the calories.
David Spade and Heather Locklear back together. But only until Richie and Denise breakup.
7th Heaven star makes out with his brother’s girlfriend, Stacy Keibler. Rev. Camden, want to take this one?

Posted on May 31st, 2006 | Permalink

Categories: Entertainment, While You Were...

Tagged: , American Idol, Beyonce, Dave Grohl, David Spade, Heather Locklear, Helena Bonham Carter, Stacy Keibler, Taylor Hicks, Tim Burton

May
Wednesday

While You Were Checking Out Namibia on Expedia

By Alex Blagg

Madonna is apparently the new face of cheap-but-stylish clothing designer H&M. The store’s letters will remain the same, but their meaning will be altered to represent it’s new brand – “Has-been” & “Menopausal”.
Jon Bon Jovi : “We won’t turn into the rolling stones.” Anyone with the ability to hear: “We know.”
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are reportedly filming their experiences in Namibia for a documentary to be released at some point in the future. It will be entitled Out of Africa? Never!.
Liz Taylor says she doesn’t have Alzheimer’s. She does, however, have alcohol. Lots of it.
According to AICN, Natalie Portman will appear naked in her next film, Goya’s Ghost. According to my brain, I will be seeing Natalie Portman’s next film, Goya’s Ghost.

Posted on May 31st, 2006 | Permalink

Categories: Entertainment, While You Were...

Tagged: , Bon Jovi, Brangelina, Madonna, Natalie Portman

May
Wednesday

While You Were Saying Goodbye to Katie

By Best Week Ever

Bobby Brown’s sexy female entourage catfights with a Russian model. Just another part of their job.
Jon Voight is publicly lobbying to see Angelina’s kid Shiloh. But based on his recent movie choices, he shouldn’t be trusted with a child.
Paris Hilton has ten songs lined up for her new album. Now if she could just find someone to sing them.
Wynona Ryder avoids talking to press about shoplifting…but isn’t opposed to casually walking away with their stuff.
Sofia Coppola is having a baby with boyfriend Thomas Mars. But she’d still like to get Kirsten Dunst attached to this project.
James Blunt banned from radio station. And my i-pod.
Drew Barrymore is still not married to The Strokes’ Fab Moretti. But they did get a joint subscription to the NY Times
Today Show staff give public goodbye to Katie Couric this morning, private sigh of relief.

Posted on May 31st, 2006 | Permalink

Categories: Entertainment, While You Were...

Tagged: , Angelina Jolie, Bobby Brown, Drew Barrymore, Fab Moretti, James Blunt, Jon Voight, Katie Couric, Paris Hilton, Sofia Coppola, Today Show, Wynona Ryder

May
Tuesday

While You Were Birthing a Celebrity Baby

By Best Week Ever

Paris Hilton dates model hired for her video. Doesn’t know he’s still on the clock.
Ben Affleck goes to hospital for headache. But all he got were 2 lousy Excedrin.
Musician Cisco Adler talks to press about his talent. Scoring Mischa Barton.
Johnny Depp and Kate Moss may reunite for the biopic of Michael Hutchence. Or plan to use that as an excuse.
Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore party in Iowa. You’re never too famous for cow-tipping.
Ron Howard’s daughter gets with Spiderman. Dad’s just relieved he’s not The Fonz.

Posted on May 30th, 2006 | Permalink

Categories: Entertainment, While You Were...

Tagged: , Ashton Kutcher, Ben Affleck, Cisco Adler, Demi Moore, Johnny Depp, Kate Moss, Michael Hutchence, Mischa Barton, Paris Hilton, Ron Howard, Spiderman

May
Tuesday

While You Were on a Pilgrimage to Namibia

By Best Week Ever

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Gwen Stefani gave birth this weekend to Kingston James McGregor Rossdale. Unfortunately overshadowed by the New Messiah.
Jude Law and Sienna Miller are back together. Until he hires another nanny.
Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn take in a baseball game. Because that’s what good friends do.
Angelina and Brad give more money to Namibia. Hey, what about us?
Halle Berry wants a baby, not a husband. Luckily, birthing a husband is highly unlikely.
The good news is Russell Crowe was replaced by Heath Ledger in new Baz Luhrman movie. The bad news is he’s got more time to devote to his music.

Posted on May 30th, 2006 | Permalink

Categories: Entertainment, While You Were...

Tagged: , Baz Luhrman, Brangelina, Gavin Rossdale, Gwen Stefani, Hally Berry, Heath Ledger, Jennifer Aniston, Jude Law, Russel Crowe, Sienna Miller, Vince Vaughn

May
Friday

While You Were Still Idolizing Taylor

By Bob Castrone

DMX is considering changing his name for “spiritual reasons.” Reasons like, he wants to go back to the 12 states where DMX has a warrant out for his arrest.
A new study reveals that smoking marijuana regularly does not lead to cancer. Snoop Dogg now expected to live forever.
Ludacris and Kanye West performed part of their hit single “Stand Up” for the jury at their liability trial on Thursday. Observers called it the best thing to happen to the judicial process since Night Court.
Jaime Pressly was worried she’d have to star in a sex tape to make it in Hollywood. My Name is Earl producers forced to apologize for casting the actress and depriving us all.
Michael Jackson will make his first public appearance since his acquittal last June in Tokyo to accept MTV Japan’s “Legends Award.” Of course, since Thriller just came out there, they won’t even hear about the molestation stuff for another 15 years.

Posted on May 26th, 2006 | Permalink

Categories: Celebrity, Entertainment, Pop Culture, While You Were...

Tagged: , DMX, Jamie Pressly, Kanye West, Ludacris, Marijuana, Michael Jackson, My Name Is Earl