VH1 Homepage
 

While You Were...

3 July
Tuesday

While You Were Building Your Roman Candle Arsenal

051029_ZachBraff_vl.widec.jpg

  • You would think that Zach Braff and Drew Barrymore (Braffymore?) is the grossest new couple news you’d heard in awhile, but then you turn around and find yourself confronted with Tommy Lee and Kimberly Stewart (Kimberlee?) bumping (really) uglies and you need to lie back down.
  • Top Chef host with the most Padma Lakshi has issued a fatwa on her marriage to Salman Rushdie.
  • Isaiah Washington would like you to know that he only hates the gays because Patrick Dempsey was mean to him.
  • John Stamos would like you to know that he is not David Hasselhoff. Sure, he may like a nip on the old firewater now and then, but he certainly doesn’t lay around with no shirt on, stuffing burgers into his face.
  • Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting back to…oh, who gives a sh*t?
29 June
Friday

While You Were Preparing To Prepare For Vacation

Isaih1.jpg

  • Ooh, Isaiah Washington’s speaking out again. In an interview with Newsweek, he said racism was partially to blame for his firing from Grey’s Anatomy, claiming producers were threatened by the fact that he was “a black man who wasn’t a mush-mouth Negro.” You gotta hand it to him, this man has an ear for sound bites.
  • Continuing their reputation for delighting in only the most annoying entertainers America has to offer, the French have awarded Barbra Streisand with their Legion of Honor medal. The other American to have received the award: Jerry Lewis. No doubt David Blaine’s medal is currently being minted.
  • Tickets for the next musical from Mel Brooks, Young Frankenstein, will top out at $450. That is roughly $448 more than it would cost you to just rent the damn movie.
  • The Spice Girls announced they were reuniting for a world tour. No word on whether Meat Loaf will once again be driving their tour bus. (That, people, is a Spice World reference. Don’t act like you haven’t seen the movie.)
  • With the July 4 holiday fast approaching, BWE.tv’s Michelle Collins has gone on vacation. Posting for her today will be Adam Winer, aka me. I promise to try not to suck.
28 June
Thursday

While You Were Burning the Thousands of Photographs Proving That You Have, Indeed, Used Drugs, You Lying Liar of a Crackhead

PARIS ON LARRY.JPG

27 June
Wednesday

While You Were Watching House Party 4: Down to the Last Minute at 3 a.m. Last Night

IF HE DID IT OJ.JPG

22 June
Friday

While You Were Planning Your Big Weekend Getaway At The Hampton Inn In The Hamptons

isiah_blog_3.jpg

  • Recently canned homophobe Isaiah Washington says Grey’s Anatomy fired the wrong guy, and somehow this whole ordeal is actually TR Knight‘s fault. Washington went on to suggest that if Knight wasn’t “such a homo” in the first place, none of this ever would have happened.
  • Paris Hilton‘s forthcoming “I learned so much in prison” press tour got off to a premature start yesterday when a concerned Ryan Seacrest dropped by for a visit so Paris could use a little E! interview to start practicing her sob story monologue for primetime.
  • Hey! Wanna know more about David Lee Roth‘s “unquenchable thirst for sex” during his Van Halen days? Sure you do!
  • In a shocking bit of casting news, Morgan Freeman is planning to portray Nelson Mandela in an upcoming film. Wow, no one’s had to make a physical transformation quite like that since DeNiro in Raging Bull.
  • I have no idea why Bryan Adams is photographing Cindy Crawford, or why the resulting pictures look like that porny Chris Isaak video.
20 June
Wednesday

While You Were Watching Another Sopranos Spoof

Christina_Aguilera_Back_To_Basics_splashnews.jpg

  • Christina Aguilera is reportedly pregnant with her first child, which still leaves a good year and half or so before her full-fledged life crisis meltdown, presuming she’s following the Britney Spears guide to better living through insanity.
  • Nicole Richie has been ordered to finally stand trial for the DUI charges that were brought against her last year. If convicted, she could face up to one year in jail, and finally have the opportunity to start a prison gang with Paris Hilton.
  • Speaking of Paris, the heiress is reportedly “settling in” and “looking beautiful” in jail. So much so that she’s now followed everywhere she goes in the detention center by the raperazzi.
  • Portions of OJ Simpson’s murder confessional book have leaked online, and read sort of like a less funny or well-written version of American Psycho.
  • Entourage star Adrian Grenier is finally staring to open up about his crushing inability to be interesting.
19 June
Tuesday

While You Were Doing The Icky Thump

dunkincampbell2.jpg

  • Naomi Campbell shot a commercial for Dunkin Donuts in which she poked fun at her own bad reputation. In the ad, Campbell beats Fred the Donut Maker to death with her stiletto after one too many of his “time to make the donuts!” remarks.
  • Julia Roberts has given birth to her third child, which we might care about 5 minutes ago when actually having babies instead of adopting them was still cool. Boooooring!
  • Britney Spears’ old apartment in Manhattan will soon be up for rent, for the frightening price of $10,000 to $15,000 a month. White tiger print upholstery and Mountain Dew showers ain’t cheap, people.
  • Is Katie Holmes really pregnant with another one of Tom‘s Xenu babies? This time, will it come ripping out of her stomach like that scene in Aliens?
  • Lindsay Lohan has officially cancelled her 21st birthday party at PURE Nightclub in Vegas. Sounds like someone made it to Step 3, which suggests you should not go to Vegas and get sh*t-faced right after leaving rehab.
15 June
Friday

While You Were Not Stopping Believing

JOLIE VEIN.JPG

14 June
Thursday

While You Were Preparing the Rattlesnake for Your Top Chef Party

Britney Ebay Auction.JPG

  • Finally! You can own one of Britney Spears‘ sheer, fluid-stained sheer shirts and her Kangol hat, being sold on Ebay by one of the strippers lucky enough to get her hands on the booty, both figuratively and literally, we’re guessing.
  • Paris Hilton is out of the medical ward and back in real-life jail, meaning now she’ll have to get her Xanax the old fashioned way: Baked inside a delicious cake.
  • We are happy to report that David Letterman‘s stalker, who escaped from prison last week, has been caught, promising many more years of “Will It Float?” and Stupid Pet Tricks to come.
  • Lily Allen continues her Sloppy Tour of ’07, slurring through a handful of songs during a New York concert, and getting to know Josh Hartnett in a local New York City toilet at the after-party.
  • Jennifer Aniston sheds her clothing in a print ad for the delicious new product, “DesperateForAttention Water”.
13 June
Wednesday

While You Were Pouring a Little Acid Out of Your Beaker…

Katie Holmes Bob.JPG

  • Katie Holmes reveals her new haircut, officially titled the “I Have Forgotten How to Think Independently Side-Swept Bob.” It actually looks amazing.
  • Real World San Diego alum Frankie Abernathy passed away this past weekend, likely related to her life-long battle with cystic fibrosis. We hope that wherever you are in heaven, Frankie, there are absolutely no boats.
  • Paris Hilton‘s agent at Endeavor has dumped her, saying the heiress just “wasn’t worth it.” We can only hope this is the first step to a modern pop culture world that is Paris-endorsement-free.
  • Ryan Reynolds has gone from Van Wilder to Mr. Alanis Morissette to HuffPo blogger, lending more credibility to this job than ever before. And strangely — it’s a pretty entertaining story… though you might not want to read it while eating your morning Luna bar.
  • It’s official: Zach Braff is a creepy old man, who thinks his celebrity will buy him a one-way ticket to Vadgetown. Radar admirably attempts to c*ck block him.