Before we begin, we would just like to take the time to thank The Insider for hiring Niecy Nash as one of their main correspondents. She is above and beyond funny and likable, and we’re happy she’s got a regular home on our televisions.
That being said: How cruel of you, The Insider, to send our beloved Niecy into the woven lair of clothes hoarder and walking case of the sads Lindsay Lohan, who could build a red-soled guest house out of the spare Louboutins she has laying around. The show wants you to believe that Lindsay Lohan is a real life hoarder. We’ll tell you how we know she ISN’T: Niecy did not find a single flat cat or flat rat under any of her many boxes. Flat cats = call A&E. No flat cats = She’s spoiled and probably high and too lazy to clean.
And to imagine: All those clothes laying around and Lindsay couldn’t even put a pair of pants on. Lindsay should donate these items to charity ASAP, if only for the hilarious reenactment of one of our favorite scenes in Coming to America… “Let them wear our princely robes…”
Our friend andFallon blogger Sara Schaefer, well aware of my love for the eminently squeezable animals known as sheep, knew exactly how to ruin my day: By sending me the following video and instructing me to watch all the way through to the end.
More information, you say? Sure.
There’s a heated Senate race happening in California.Carly Fiorina is a Republican looking to beat fellow Repub Tom Campbell in the election primary. And if we were basing our votes on “Demented Sons of Bitches,” Carly would be winning by a mile. That’s because she threw together the following smear ad using God’s most innocent and most pilluh-like creature — ADORABLE SHEEP.
The beginning is almost hilarious, created by the same special effects house that put together Anaconda (we think), and using sheep to their utmost hilarious advantage.
But the last 30 or so seconds take a turn for the “WHAT THE F*CK NONONO.” We don’t want to ruin the surprise, but we will say that this is our personal Silence of the Lambs. In fact, we’d prefer to spend the rest of our lives basting ourselves in fava bean flavored chianti vs. running into star of this video in a dark barn somewhere…
Little is known about the upcoming digitally animated movie A.D. — so little that we couldn’t even find an IMDB page for it. What we DID learn, however, is that it’s a digitally animated movie about zombies that will make you long for the simpler days of Tom Hanks’ terrifying cartoon mug saying “All aboard!” (vague Polar Express reference? Check.)
The information we’ve gathered (via Buzzfeed and our new favorite website Zombieinfo) has taught us this: The folks behind a digitally animated zombie flick are very serious about scaring the sh*t out of you. Watch this teaser for the film, and then sort of hope it never comes out because you will surely never be the same.
I came across this Blender list of the 5 Most Ridiculously Awesome Mashups Ever this morning, and now, after having watched each one and still never tired of the internet’s endless capacity for creative and technically brilliant pointlessness, I am charitably passing it along.
As an appeteaser (I just mashed up “appetizer” and “teaser”!!!), here’s David Lee Roth and the Fab Four performing “Runnin’ With The Beatles”. You can watch the rest here:
Parry Grip — the genius behind the Shopping Penguin jamand “That Skunk is Mad” — has put together what might be the catchiest jingle for an Apple product ever. It’s the Ipad theme, and frankly, has sort of convinced us to drop $499 on one of these catchy gizmos just to use as a tray to serve delicious nachos on.
Watch this now, then come back 4 hours from now to tell us you’re still singing it. But you ain’t mad, it’s a graet tune.
BONUS OPEN THREAD: Is anyone out there actually buying/has anyone out there actually bought an Ipad? If so… tell us everythingggggggggggg.
It’s been a while since we’ve seen a good old-fashioned internet movie mashup — I got really tired of them in 2007, like the internet’s version of Thai food — so I was actually kind of refreshed to see that someone did the very-thinkable and inserted James Gandolfini’sSopranos dialogue into his scenes from Where The Wild Things Are.
By the way, I came up with that super not-forced mashup title — just call me Clever Name Comer Up Wither Man (Language NSFW):
The real Punxsutawney Philsaw his shadow this morning, meaning we’re in for six more weeks of winter (or possibly not, as it’s a groundhog), but far more disturbing is this commercial for TruTV, featuring a feral, miniaturized version of the Steelers’ Troy Polamalu, who projects we’re in for six more weeks of football.
I personally don’t believe him, both because the Super Bowl is this coming Sunday, and because I don’t trust anyone that so closely resembles Little Man:
