The reviews of Lady in the Water are in, and they are not good. So instead of spending $10 to sit through 2 hours of evangelical mumbo-jumbo, check out this hilarious and yet terrifying short video called “The Life and Death of a Pumpkin,” and spend the remaining hour and fifty-five minutes organizing an angry letter-writing campaign to M. Night Shame-he’s-lame.
In Case You Missed It...
JulyThursday
ICYMI: Muse’s Black Holes and Revelations
To those not familiar with Brit-Rock band Muse, here is a good way to describe them: They sound like Radiohead when Radiohead meant Radiohead and not a gaggle of robots armed with deadly bell noises. That is to say, you can listen to Muse all the live long day and never really get tired of the songs. After hearing their latest album, Black Holes and Revelations, the good news is they’re sticking to their Radiohead-ness and not drifting off into Martian-Synthesizer-Ville. To get an idea of their sound, check out this wacky video for their single “Knights of Cydonia”.
JulyThursday
ICYMI: Fergie Goes Solo
So here’s the video for “London Bridge”, Fergie’s first solo effort without the aid of her favorite Black Eyed Peas. Her lovely lady lumps are in full effect so I don’t have any complaints regarding the video… but the song. Oh, the song. What do you think? Watch it now.
JulyThursday
ICYMI: Paris’ Ears Are Burning
Whilst walking through the jungle as they always do, a TMZ camera crew accidentally stumbled upon a species known as the Paris Hilton. After a mutual moment of fear and confusion, the Paris Hilton agreed to engage the paparazzi in an “impromptu” Q & A session, specifically addressing the recent outbreak of “mean comments” people have been leaving about the Paris Hilton on the Internet. Apparently, the Paris Hilton doesn’t like it when people say “mean and sadistic” things about her, and sometimes it makes her very sad. Even when you have millions of undeserved dollars and life of luxurious comfort that most of the world’s population will never know, it hurts when anonymous people say bad things about you in the comments section of Internet sites. It particularly hurts the Paris Hilton that the viscious blog readers who leave these comments haven’t even bothered to take the time to get to know her in person so that they might see what kind of beautiful, compassionate being she actually is. You people should be ashamed of yourselves – the Paris Hilton has feelings, too.
JulyTuesday
ICYMI: Barbara Still Puzzled By Black Women
A couple of weeks ago R&B singer Brandy dropped by The View. Judging by the way Barbara Walters teased her and pawed at her hair, you’d think Barbara had never sat next to a black woman before. Well, not by choice, anyway.
I was willing to brush the hair pulling aside (no pun intended) and write it off as an isolated incident… but that was up until Tanika Ray came in today. Now I know it wasn’t a one-time thing. It’s an epidemic. And Barbara Walters must be stopped. See for yourself.
Is it time for an intervention? I think it might be.
JulyTuesday
ICYMI: Liquid (Booze) Television
Those boozehounds over at College Humor sobered up long enough to produce another episode of their hilarious CHTV web shorts. This edition features a fairy tale, a paid advertisement for the many uses of Solo cups and, in a genius move, a filmed version of the popular drinking game “Never Have I Ever”. So strap on your beer helmet, pretend you’re not 28 years-old, and re-visit your college years right from your computer!
JulyMonday
ICYMI: Bush Talks Sh*t
I’m sure you’ve heard by now that President Bush, whilst discussing Hezbollah with British PM Tony Blair during the G8 Summit, got busted talking all raw thanks to the nearby microphone he didn’t realize was hot. Check it out!
JulyMonday
ICYMI: It’s a LAugh RIOT!
If you thought the LA Riots were serious, think again. Or don’t think at all.
Is this movie, The L.A. Riot Spectacular really real? I mean come on; A comedy based on the 1992 LA Riots!?!? And did they really use footage of 9/11 in reverse in the trailer? Is Emilio Estevez really prominently involved? Does Michael Buffer really say “Let’s get ready to riot!!!”? The answer is Yes. Just see for yourself.
Wow. Well, it’s still not offensive as Little Man, I guess.
JulyMonday
ICYMI: War Is Over (If You Blog It)
Despite it’s conservative spin and sensationalistic headlines, chances are you visit The Drudge Report at least semi-regularly. It’s a quick and easy way to see what’s going on in the world at any given moment. But have you ever wished that, instead of breathless headlines reporting the end of days with lots of exclamation points, the site could link to stories about ways in which the world might be changed positively, through peace and love, perhaps using the life and death of John Lennon as an exemplary model from which we might hope to learn and grow? Well thank goodness for gimmicky movie promotions, because this hippie daydream is now a reality – introducing The Grudge Report. Instant Karma’s gonna getcha!
JulyFriday
ICYMI: Heavy Metal Manlove
If you were thinking of having a cocktail to celebrate this lovely summer Friday afternoon, but felt a little guilty about drinking before 5pm, go ahead and pour yourself a tall one – because now you’re going to need it. You might also need to gently wash out your eyes with soapy water, because last night when Dave Navarro and Tommy Lee were walking the red carpet to promote the new season of their show Rock Star: Supernova, somehow this happened:
(via Splash)
