For little more than the cost of a gallon of gas, you could have an entire month’s worth of access to video footage far crazier than anything R. Kelly could come up with on a playground in Bangkok with an endless supply of Viagra. $4.99 might not seem like a lot of money these days, but at AnnaNicole.com that kind of change will buy you a front seat for the greatest freakshow since The Elephant Man’s farewell tour. It’s hard to explain, but there’s something oddly therapeutic about watching Anna Nicole’s little home movies – it’s kind of like Prozak in podcast form. I guess there are just those days when you really need to see a pill-addled bimbo in an airbrushed t-shirt giving rambling culinary tips on the proper way to prepare a peanut butter, mayonnaise and cheese fried sandwich (with “nanners” on it, if she has them). Sometimes jokes are just so unnecessary.
In Case You Missed It...
JulyThursday
ICYMI: Best $5 Ever
JulyThursday
ICYMI: Fox Freakout Neither Fair Nor Balanced
Thanks to Gawker for pointing out Jodi Applegate’s hilarious on-camera freakout during a live report on Fox News. This video is why “In Case You Missed It” was invented, folks:
JulyWednesday
ICYMI: Colin Gets Glib on ‘Today’
Proppers to Defamer for catching this clip of Collin Farrell (who might still be rattled by his recent super-fan troubles) on The Today Show, which sent us into a hellish flashback when Colin begins loudly proclaiming that Matt Lauer is being “glib”. If this outburst wasn’t stress-related, but instead just an ill-conceived attempt at Cruise humor, he should have completed the bit by doing Tom’s Thetan Dance right there in Rockefeller Center. You don’t half-ass on “The Cruise”, especially when you’re surrounded by a crowd of gawking midwesterners who came all the way to NY to see it.
JulyWednesday
ICYMI: Top 5 TV Show Intros of All Time
Our friends over at Double Viking pointed out some website’s list of the Top Five TV Intros All Time. While this nostalgic stroll down TV memory lane was certainly enjoyable, we were more than a little dismayed to discover that OUR favorite TV Intro of All Time was conspicuously missing. So after you check out what those guys call “the best”, watch the true genius below and help us understand why there is no justice in the world.
JulyTuesday
ICYMI: Timberlake As You’ve Never Seen Him Before
While Justin Timberlake‘s video for Sexyback premiered on TRL today (and will be on MTV again tonight at 11 p.m.), the empty cavity I’m feeling in the pit of my soul tells me that my Justin fix has still not been satisfied. That’s when I discovered this video of Tiny Timb taken in 1991, when my darling was only 10 years old. Check out his little pants and tie combo! Ayyy pobrecito!
JulyTuesday
ICYMI: It’s Hard Out Here For a DJ Qualls
DJ Qualls, Hollywood’s go-to actor for all its “awkward dork” casting needs, showed paparazzi outside of an LA nightclub just what kind of stone pimp he actually is. In the course of the two minute clip, Qualls lights a cigarette, struts with a young starlet on each arm, kisses one of them, then finally hits a paparazzi homerun by giving the obligatory comment on his thoughts about Lindsay Lohan, to whom he has no discernible relation. While his description of her as “not a nice girl” is a far cry from the oratory eloquence of Brandon Davis’ “firecrotch”, it’s hard not to find DJ’s earnest “Haha, me too, right guys? Lohan sucks, check out my ladies, call me sometime Paris!” eagerness to be part of Hollywood’s clique of popular party kids at least mildly charming.
JulyMonday
ICYMI: Barbara Learns More About Black Women, Hair
Barbara Walters just keeps going and going and going. Give this woman a black co-host (not named Star Jones) and she’s bound to do something embarrassing. After the way she harrassed Brandy and pulled on Tanika Ray‘s hair, you’d think she would’ve learned her lesson by now. Well, she hasn’t. Cue Mo’Nique.
So what did Barbara learn from Mo’Nique on The View today?
1) Black women DO NOT shave their legs
2) Black women DO shave their underarms
3) Black women DO NOT appreciate it when you call their children “creatures”
4) Black women DO NOT enjoy being double teamed by two old white women
What an episode. Future co-hosts, you’ve been warned: You come and go- they stay. They. Stay.
JulyMonday
ICYMI: Gwyneth Paltrow, Rice Queen?
Crush-of-the-Day Daniel Henney, the Zoolander of Asia, takes on Gwyneth Paltrow in a 2005 commercial for the appropriately named Bean Pole International clothing line. The two were back in London this week filming another commercial, but in case you missed the first one, here it is. It’s too bad Chris Martin is in the picture — these two would birth a litter of Benetton models if given the chance.
JulyMonday
ICYMI: Paris vs. Nicole Celebrity Deathmatch
If only this could really happen. If only. *Sigh* We can dream.
JulyFriday
ICYMI: Hip-Hop Is Kryptonite to Brandon Routh
Before he dawned the red and blue tights and set the gay’s hearts aflutter, Superman Returns star Brandon Routh used to kick it with the Lazy Sunday posse themselves, The Lonely Island. At around the half-way point of the clip below, the boy-who-would-be-Superman drops off some sweet flow as the moustachioed police officer Dino Wong. I’m not really sure what you’re supposed to think about this, but somehow it seems important that you see it.
(via A Socialite’s Life)
