Let’s kick things off with my new computer wallpaper, shall we?
As has become an American Halloween Tradition, the fine people over at The Today Show took a budget equivalent to the GDP of Nebraska and funneled that cash into the most extravagant, serious, over-the-top Halloween Costume Parade that one could ever hope for. The show is notorious for their Halloween Special, but perhaps no year has ever been as themed as today. That theme? Morning Show Masturbation Fantasies for Middle-Aged Jobless Virgins. Or, as it is more commonly known as, “Star Wars.”
Yes, Matt Lauer got out of a giant airplane (we’re sure there’s a special word for that vehicle, but we’re too lazy to look it up), and Meredith Viera donned her favorite knish-muffs for her Princess Leia costume. It was all a very civilized affair indeed…
We’ve always had a soft spot for Patrick Dempsey, mainly because he was the star of Loverboy, a movie about a pizza delivery boy that slept with his customers which basically amounted to the first pornographic film mine pre-teen eyes had ever witnessed. Then Dempsey went through puberty (somewhere in his late 20s), started graying, got the lead in a hit tv medical drama, and became known to most by his catchy new nickname: McDreamy.
But Dempsey clearly had had enough. Sick of being known only for his looks and not for his ever giving river of talent, McDreemz decided to shock the world this week on Good Morning America. Armed with three bowling pins, we meet McJuggly, Dempsey’s juggling alter ego. In the course of 20 or so seconds, McJuggz raised about $20,000 for charity. Fast forward to 4:30 to see his party trick in action.
The above video really brought out that latent Dempsey love that’s been toiling away since the Loverboy days. But not like the below video of McJuggly… WHICH IS AMAZING IN EVERY WAY.
On today’s Good Morning America, Chris Cuomolead a discussion about parents who exploit their children for reality show fame. In one corner was a mother recently featured with her daughter on TLC’s Toddlers and Tiaras. In the other corner was some attorney with extensive knowledge in this area who claimed it’s bad for the child or some garbage blah blah blah. Watch as the mother gets the last word on just how not screwed up her daughter really is:
Every little girl loves mud pies and four-wheelers and has a million Facebook fans thanks to her mom’s complete disregard for rational parenting while on national television. It’s normal. Quit digging for a story where there isn’t one.
Also, I think Chris Cuomo deserves the Peabody Award for ‘Excellence in Blatant But Wholeheartedly Deserved Condescending Sarcasm’ for that outro. Way to keep your cool, brother.
Paula Deen was thrown off her rich, buttery game this morning during a cooking segment with Al Roker. Lord knows I’ve seen some weird stuff during morning show cooking segments, but this one was just downright creepy:
Yes, Paula really did ask Al “Is he from this country?” I’ve heard the Today Show set is a common escape route for those hopping the border.
Will the guy hiding behind the counter kill Paula and Al?? Will the cake be decadent and delicious?? Find out in the thrilling conclusion to this Today Show saga after the jump.
On the Today Show this morning, trainer Lisa Howell demonstrated that her dog Willow can READ. Granted, the dog can only read the phrases “sit up,” “wave,” and “bang,” but what other words does she really need? That’s basically a rudimentary dissertation on the Kennedy assassination right there. The best trick my dog can do is eat garbage.
CNN ran this story about a hit show in Iraq called Comedy Star where the country’s own versions of David Letterman look for the next Saddam Rickles.
It’s pretty inspiring to see people over there laughing it up, but I’m not sure our countries see eye to eye when it comes to comedy. That guy doing the jump rope bit? That was gold. Those judges wouldn’t know funny if it overthrew their dictator!
Winners will go on to star in the biggest sitcom on Iraqi television:It’s Always Sandy In Fallujah (I would have also accepted Malcolm in the Middle East and/or Green Zone Acres).
We’ve considered ourselves “Grobanites” ever since meeting Josh Groban at 2007’s Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony, where the true glow of the evening came from Groban’s effortless charm. (Seriously, he was sort of the best.) And while we knew the guy had some serious pipes, we never realized just how low his pipes go… as in, they are attached to his perineum.
During an appearance on Ellen yesterday, the twosome performed a moving duet of the Bonnie Tyler classic “Total Eclipse of the Heart”. Their version is actually not so bad! It’s both beautifully harmonized and, yet, passionate? It also features Ellen’s dead-on impression of The Dan Band.
So that settles it!! Josh Groban has huge balls. Thanks for playing.
The Family Feud Category: “Name the most famous rock star of all”
My New Favorite Family Feud Contestant’s Answer: Every noise in the English language that remotely sounds like “Bruce Springsteen” without being “Bruce Springsteen”
During the golden fourth hour of The Today Show yesterday, a dog peed on the floor while the camera was zoomed in on him. Hoda jumps trying to avoid getting pee on her, but Kathie Lee immediately starts scolding the dog in a tone not unlike that of Mommie Dearest.
Apparently this dog’s name is Weeka. Wee-ka. Get it?
