10 March
Wednesday

Don Draper Ken Doll Still Sleeps Around Despite Lack of Genitals

The fine folks at Mattel have announced that they will be releasing a special Mad Men inspired line of Barbie dolls, including Don and Betty Draper, the silverest of foxes Roger Sterling, and Joan Holloway, who, from the looks of it, received one of Mattel’s trademarked debreastifications.

But the truest of Mad Men fans must wonder… where are the dolls of our most beloved characters? How are we supposed to reenact Sal’s famous bellhop scene without the help of a beefy Salvatore Romano action figure? And what about Pete Campbell? Who’s going to inappropriately touch the rest of our dolls without a smarmy-faced plastic Pete? We need at least 5 more Mad Men dolls to be able to live out our most sordid of Dark-Helmet-like fantasies.

Doll disappointments aside, we obviously adore these dolls. Though isn’t it telling that a KEN DOLL version of Don Draper is somehow still less handsome than the actual living man, Jon Hamm? No flesh-colored plastic crotch nubbin is going to keep this doll away from the bevvy of dolls flinging themselves at his feet. If you see Skipper’s convertible parked outside of the Draper home, don’t act all shocked and sh*t.

Check out The Fab Life’s hilarious animated GIFs of these Mad Men dolls in real life situations! Or, in layman’s terms, getting wasted.

‘Mad Men’ Dolls in a Barbie World, but the Cocktails Must Stay Behind — NY Times

10 March
Wednesday

Burrito The Golfing Dog Sinks Ball in Our Heart

File this post under “How the Hell Did We Miss This?” Earlier this morning, The Today Show announced that they were accepting applications for their 2010 “Top Dog” contest. And to motivate viewers into getting their acts together (literally, dogs on piano, dogs in tap shoes) and submit a video, they had the good sense to show us footage from past winners. Including Burrito, a chihuahua who plays golf.

Well, OK. He sucks at golf. It takes him a good 5 tries to get the ball off the tee, all while looking up at his owner with the giant eyes of a small Mexican dog who has seen the face of the Devil. In unrelated news, it’s adorrrrable. The small bag of clubs over his shoulder really sells this one, for us.

This post brought to you by some story from Reader’s Digest, probably.

9 March
Tuesday

HELP! I Am Too Horrified By Heidi Montag’s Plastic Face To Decide If This Is Funny

Ron Howard and Funny Or Die released another video to push for a Consumer Financial Protection Agency… I think. Honestly, every time I try to watch it and see Heidi Montag I keep thinking she is one of those frightening Japanese sex robots come to life to seek revenge on mankind. Maybe her next 60 surgeries will fix all that.

Ron, buddy, maybe its best you don’t try to sabotage your own cause with the two most hated people in America:

5 March
Friday

VIDEO: Trampoline Dog Isn’t The Hero We Need, But He’s The Hero We Deserve

This dog has it all figured out. Actually… no he doesn’t. At least he doesn’t quite have the trampoline figured out. But everything else in life? This dog has that figured out. I’ll shut up now. Dog jumping on a trampoline:

[via Buzzfeed]

5 March
Friday

MASH-UP: The Oscar Speech To End All Oscar Speeches

Learn from this, Oscar-acceptors: here’s 49 Oscar acceptance speeches mashed together to create the ultimate Devastator of acceptance speeches, and it still clocks in under two minutes:

As Youtube commenter/wordsmith Mikinioo puts it: “whos that black guy saying i love you new york lol”

5 March
Friday

Jimmy Fallon Scores The Cast Reunion We Never Knew We So Desperately Needed

Jimmy Fallon gave up his dream of a Saved By The Bell reunion last night, but like Dan Marino’s Superbowl ring or Charlie Sheen’s functional marriage, some things are never meant to be. However, Jimmy didn’t dwell on failure. Instead he dove right back in to the 90’s nostalgia pool and reunited the cast of another great NBC Saturday morning teen show many of us had probably forgotten about: California Dreams.

Glad to see that Tiffani is still a total surf babe.

I hope next Fallon reunites the cast of City Guys or possibly the original Power Rangers. Too bad Zordon died from that overdose.

5 March
Friday

Jon Stewart Discovers That The Real News Just Discovered ChatRoulette

On The Daily Show last night, Jon Stewart entered the genitalia firing range known as ChatRoulette, only to discover several other real news anchors beat him to the punch. Diane Sawyer, Brian Williams, Keith Olberman, and Katie Couric all show up in what is basically the news industry’s answer to that SNL Presidents reunion from the other day. It’s too bad we lost Walter Cronkite. That guy would have been all over ChatRoulette.

Also, Brian Williams once again proves he could take over The Daily Show, and we really wouldn’t skip a beat.


The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Tech-Talch – Chatroulette
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political Humor Health Care Reform

Jon Stewart seems to agree with me that the legitimate news organizations are entering a world of pain when they decided ChatRoulette should be a story. It will only end in tears.

5 March
Friday

Music Video Recreates Famous Paintings; My Art History Degree Finally Worth Something

I’ve never heard of the band “Hold Your Horses” until this week, but I feel like I owe them a giant thank you. See, back in my college days I had the brilliant idea of majoring in Art History, even though I had absolutely no intention of ever using this degree in a professional atmosphere. So who knew that a handful of moons later I would in fact be forced to blow the braindust off that ol’ dusty file known as “college” in order to watch Hold Your Horses’ latest video for their song “70 Million.” In it, the band recreates a slew of famous paintings, from your more famous Boticellis and Warhols to your “Death of Marat”’s and Chagalls, this video has it all for the art buff. It even includes one of my favorite paintings of all time, Théodore Géricault’s “The Raft of the Medusa,” whose Wiki page we swear is worth your time.

Just be warned though: Frida Kahlo will definitely show up in your dreams tonight.

70 Million by Hold Your Horses ! from L'Ogre on Vimeo.

(Via Urlesque)

4 March
Thursday

Jimmy Fallon’s 1980s Sexual Harassment Video Should End Harassment For All Of Time

If there’s a bad 80s Sexual Harassment Video on the internet, I ain’t seen it yet — this includes the following video, a supernaturally accurate homage to classic workplace harrassment videos by none other than Jimmy Fallon (and featuring BWE.tv alum Sara Schaefer as Molested 80s Lady #2 – molestey easter egg!)

I have no doubt that workplace harassment will universally cease by tomorrow, if it hasn’t already.

4 March
Thursday

EXCLUSIVE: “VH1s Unplugged” Debuts on March 10 with Adam Lambert!

Sometimes, requests are made of me here at VH1 that are nearly impossible to grant. One such request was made a couple of weeks ago, when I attended a super-exclusive taping of the premiere of VH1s Unplugged, the award-winning music series that is returning with eight all new episodes for VH1, MTV and CMT. The performer? None other than Adam Lambert, our most beloved American Idol contestant ever, who had not only planted his sparkle-seed in our earholes from the moment he opened his 24K-gold lips, but had also managed to stick a feather-cork in our heartholes following our two interviews together. (You can see those here and here.)

Finding out that Adam would be kicking off Unplugged was huge. Finding out that I would be the only member of the press allowed inside was unprecedented. But learning that I had to wait a little while before I’d be able to talk or blog about the concert was, simply put, torture. I’ve spent the last couple of weeks dabbing my forehead with a white hanky Al Sharpton style with anticipation…

But good news: On March 10… Adam Lambert’s Unplugged will be upon us, the first of eight episodes which will also feature Phoenix (for MTV), The Script (for VH1) and Reba McEntire (for CMT).

And the better news? I CAN FINALLY TALK ABOUT IT. Stay tuned next week for my exclusive recap of VH1s Unplugged: Adam Lambert, featuring fan reactions, recaps of the songs, hilarious behind-the-scenes tidbits, and an interview with the man himself, where we talk about the hard hitting issues. Mainly… hummus. You won’t wanna miss it.

Check BWE.tv next week for our exclusive recap and more photos from the concert… And again on March 10 for footage of the performance!

Unplugged has been made possible by Starburst, who joins the line-up as the exclusive partner for the upcoming season of Unplugged. Do like I did in middle school, high school and today and eat some. (That’s my own official Starburst tagline, by the way.)

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