Honorary Air Commandant and Redhead Prince Harry had a meet and greet with English Service personnel in Suffolk, England yesterday. He wore a uniform, and looked very hot. Here are 10 photos of him “serving” in the army.
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FebruaryFriday
Sophia Grace And Rosie Are Like Little Rap Mozarts
Sophia Grace and her hype girl Rosie appeared on The Ellen Degeneres Show yesterday to do what they do best: Rap. And I don’t mean “Oh look, a little girl rapping. That’s sweet! How cute.” I mean “This girl is the Baby Mozart of rapping.” They joined Ellen a while ago to cover Nicki Minaj, a video that racked up over 30 million views. And yesterday, through brought their cover of Keri Hilson’s “Turn My Swag On,” which leads me to ask: Does Julliard accept BABIES? Because get these girls IN NOW.
Seriously, next time tackle “Ni**as In Paris.” It would be “OFF THE HOOK,” as an old white person such as myself would say. Things get amazing at 1:43: Also they’re going to the Grammys.
FebruaryFriday
Magazine Photoshoot Goes With Whorethodox Jew Theme
It was a few years ago, around sunset, that some friends and I found ourselves sitting on the steps facing the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. (Yes, I’m Jewish, so you can already chill out about this post.) And I played a little game with myself: Which super ultra-orthodox man would be hot if he shaved and took his traditional uniform off and treated me like an equal? It’s truly an entertaining way to spend an afternoon, one that kept me occupied for hours. And among the hundreds of men that passed and avoided eye contact with me, there were a few in the mix who could definitely rock a Sacha Baron Cohen thing if they ever so desired.
But I gotta be honest… none of the dudes looked like this:
Or this:
Yes, an Israeli fashion magazine called BelleMode has decided to piss… mm.. yup, everybody in Jerusalem off by staging this photoshoot of Ultraorthodox Jewish models looking sssuper sexxxy while riding on a bus in scant, sheer clothing.
Sure, somewhere my grandparents are rolling over in their graves, but camman… it’s a fine day when we can ogle hot Jews who might not be allowed to touch each other. More photos ahead and A BONUS OPRAH PHOTO (it will all be explained):
FebruaryThursday
50 Cats Sitting On The Toilet
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[via Flickr]
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[via Flickr]
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[via Daily Kitten]
FebruaryThursday
The Bourne Legacy Has Got Nothing On The Bourne Lugosi
Sure, everyone is making a big fuss about the latest Bourne installment, The Bourne Legacy, starring Jeremy Renner in lieu of our rugged hero Matt Damon. But IIII’m going to STICK MY NECK OUT on THIS ONE and say that producers made a big mistake not hiring Bela Lugosi for the part of Jason Bourne.
I mean think about it: A fearless assassin, trained with the utmost precision, who is also a freaky looking old school vampire. Pamela Landy pulls the top secret file out of her drawer, with a stamp on it labeled ‘BLEDSTONE.’ Wanting to catch him, but also strangely… drawn to him. I believe this is what we industry people call “$$$$$.”
Plus, Lugosi’s been gearing up for the part his whole life. Sorry Renner, but I think we’d all rather “Lugosi” this version. No? Just me? Not even me? OK.
FebruaryThursday
Want To Be Friends With Your Neighbors? Get Them Drunk.
Apartment living ain’t easy. Especially in New York, when sometimes it seems the walls are so thin, your neighbors are having sex with you. Even more shocking is when you wake up in between them and wonder: HOW DID WE GET HERE? The answer is pretty simple:
Alcohol.
Yes, the easiest way to “chip the ice” with a next-door neighbor is to randomly show up, drink in hand, and ply them with whatever sizzling concoction you threw together in your bathtub. Laughter will be up, inhibitions down, and then you can slowly approach the topic that brought you over there in the first place: “Could you please stop leaving your used diaper genie bags under my welcome mat?” It works, I promise.
Now, I can’t take credit for this idea. No, I actually picked this helpful tip up from hilarious comedian and friend Katina Corrao, who has been trying to get past my front door for years now. It’s never worked… until today. In this latest installment of her web series “The Good Neighbor Minute” Katina fools me into letting her into my home, drinking a random mixture of liquids, wearing an unflattering pirate’s costume (burning it), and eventually, shattering my good martini glass. But she’s just so lovable, you can’t fault her! (Katina, you can click here to replace that glass.)
By the way, I think we’re both pretty fantastic actresses. Someone tweet this to @Spielberg please and thank you.
FebruaryThursday
Rabbit Gets A Bath, LOOKS SO TINY I CAN’T BREATHE
Ayyyyyayayayayayayay. Someone gave their rabbit a bath and he turned into Natalie Portman in Black Swan. Now, I’ve never owned a rabbit myself, so I don’t know the rules of their grooming habits. But according to many a-commenter over at Reddit, where the photo originated from, bathing your rabbit can cause really, really bad things to happen to it. I’m talking Gremlins bad.
Now, I don’t want to bring up the “d” word in this post (death) because that photo is so cute why ruin it?! But just as a warning to the readers whom we care about dearly, don’t wash your rabbits, because you will get a cute internet photo out of it but they might get tiny pneumonia as a result.
That being said HE SO SKINNY AND JUST WANTS TO SLOW DANCE. I will gladly warm him up in the hood of my sweatshirt and fill it with so many carrots this rabbit will actually start to worry that he really did drop d.
FebruaryWednesday
7 Steps To A Clean And Very Angry Cat
1. First things first, you’re going to want to get yourself a cat. It helps if this cat looks like it’s from another planet, and doubly so if it was already born with a miserable face. Put a towel on his head to make sure he knows what is coming. It helps if you also run some bathwater out of the faucet and point to the cat, and then to the faucet.
2. Immerse your cat in water. Make sure the water is not too hot but definitely icy cold. Also support your little guy in the bucket so that it doesn’t drown.
FebruaryWednesday
You Guys, I Forgot About Michael Phelps’ Face For A Second
I don’t want anyone to panic. Just, take your seats, relax, calm down. But I should probably tell you: I forgot about Michael Phelps’s face for a second.
The man has a body of a god. A dolphin god. One with flipper feet and hands that could turn any sandwich into a panini in under 30 seconds. So kudos to Head & Shoulders dandruff shampoo for picking 14-time gold medalist (!!!) Phelps to be the body of their new campaign. And my oh my, what a body this man has. It’s like one of those 3-D paintings, where if you stare at it long enough, other forms start to appear. And if you stare really long, you can almost see the wilting Beauty And The Beast rose.
Also kudos to Head & Shouldersfor having the brilliance for allowing him to lather up and shower for our viewing pleasure. It’s completely not creepy at all but you should probably scroll through it on your own, pretending he’s beside you. In the darkness, you’ll feel his arms around you. And when you lose your way you’ll close your eyes and he has found you.
Let’s watch him take a shower together, yes?
Here he is putting dandruff shampoo into his pizza paddle hands:
FebruaryWednesday
Nick Nolte Turns 71 Today And Used To Be Really F*cking Hot
Today might seem like any other day to you. But to human grizzly bear Nick Nolte, today marks the 71st year of his existence on Earth. And all things considered, he looks like your average 71 year old man who has lived at once both the easiest and roughest life one can hope for. Looking at Nolte now, it’s hard to imagine that there was a tie where he was HOT AS SH*T.
Oh… but there was. Back in the day, Nolte could get it. In fact, he could pretty much get it up untillll 1994′s I Love Trouble. (Also, I hear what you’re saying right now, and yes, even hot homeless Nick Nolte in Down And Out In Beverly Hills could get it.) Sure, these days Nick Nolte looks like something I would find on my foot after a hike, but guys, it’s his birthday! Let’s remember the good young days, when his jeans were tight and his mustache barely combed.
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