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20 April
Friday

The NHL Playoffs Taiwanese Animation Is The Bloodiest Movie You’ll Ever See

If you’ve been watching this year’s exceptionally brutal NHL Playoffs, you know there’s been a fair share of questionable conduct, and this “NHL Playoff Violence” Taiwanese animation sums up everything with cartoonish accuracy: Blood spraying everywhere, guys flying into each other with rocket skates, dudes cross-checking one another then morphing into literal penguins, etc. It really is the best postseason in sports.

I realize these Taiwanese animations are past their initial novelty point, but I still love them, mostly because they keep intentionally topping themselves, but also because I secretly hope that all news is presented this way in the future – it’s just the natural progression of media, Newspapers -> Twitter -> Super Violent Animations:

Uhhhhh, there’s no #81 on the Flyers, Taiwan, DURRRRRRRRR. Everything else in the video is exactly right.

(via Puck Daddy)

17 April
Tuesday

New Steelers Throwback Jerseys: Awesomely Terrible Or Terribly Terrible?

As a connoisseur of high fashion and person who sees things online and says “what a stupid thing!” (I’m mostly the former), I couldn’t help but be fascinated by these just-announced Pittsburgh Steelers throwback uniforms, which hearken back to the actual shirts the team wore in the 1932 season (Click For Full Size):

Ehhh, I give them a B-Plus, in the sense that they are ‘Plus’ the amount that jerseys should look like Bees.

To further honor the 1932 season, The Steelers are also adopting an Eddie Cantor fight song, a team-wide medical regimen consisting entirely of nerve tonic (ideal to balance the body’s prime footballing humors!), and all the players will be 150 pounds, white, and play for Yale or Navy.

In short, I’m really looking forward to this. Though I definitely would’ve preferred the Steelers’ far more streamlined 1933 jerseys.

17 April
Tuesday

Delonte West Gets A Technical Foul For Giving A Player A Wet Willie

Here’s a video of Delonte West of the Dallas Mavericks getting a technical foul for evidently “Wet Willie”-ing The Jazz’s Gordon Hayward. According to the Elias Sports Bureau, it’s the first technical given out for a playground-assault since Bill Laimbeer was ejected in 1988 for Pink Belly-ing a player then offering him a Hertz Donut.

After the game, West insisted it was simply a retaliation for Hayward telling him “You know if your hand is bigger than your face it means you’re retarded” and knocking his hand into his face when he tested it:

(via Sportsgrid)

16 April
Monday

World’s Most Expensive Foosball Table Perfect For World’s Most Luxurious Freshman Dorm

An Italian company just unveiled this limited-edition Luxury Foosball Table, featuring gold vs. silver players on a crystal ‘pitch’ and retailing for $23,000, making it the perfect addition to any luxurious freshman dormroom common area so newly-acquainted 18-year-olds can reluctantly play it a few times until one kid gets way too good and it stops being fun then everyone quits anyway because they’re too afraid to spend a weekend night doing anything besides drinking…IN LUXURY:

Now all we need are some gold broomball sticks and a luxury Swing Dance Night and my Super-Luxurious ‘First Month Of College’ Experience WILL BE COMPLETE. Followed by 47 months of just awful drinking.

More Foosball Luxury after the jump (click any for full size):

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11 April
Wednesday

PERFECT GRAPHIC: Playing For The Orioles Takes Its Toll On Your Smile

Jockular draws our attention to this humorously symbolic screengrab of Baltimore Orioles infielder Robert Andino with his last three annual team photos laid out side-by-side:

Coincidentally, that’s the exact same smile-progression that everyone went through when we started watching Heroes.

I can sympathize with Orioles fans, though – after the last 20 years of rooting for the Pirates, my smile has devolved into this:

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11 April
Wednesday

Fan Catches Home Run Ball, Breaks Into Sprinkler Dance, Is The Coolest

Here’s a fan at a Texas Rangers game this week catching a home run ball in center field and breaking into an impromptu – or was it a planned lifelong dream? – sprinkler dance on national tv.

Reminds me of the classic baseball movie quote: “THERE’S [LOTS OF SPRINKLERING] IN BASEBALL!” – Forrest Gump

I think this dude is The Internet’s nephew:

Congrats, early candidate for ‘Best Sports Dance Of 2012″, but on the all-time list, he’s still trailing the Lions player who did the Fresh Prince Carlton Dance.

9 April
Monday

Barack Obama Misses A Bunch Of Three Pointers, Fails To Ignite “Obam-sanity”

Here’s a video of Barack Obama shooting some impromptu three-pointers at an outdoor court, but it doesn’t go so well; he misses four in a row before finally sinking the fifth one, although that’s still 20% from behind the arc, which would tie him with Andrew Bynum for 295th in the NBA this season.

In terms of presidential three-point-percentages throughout history, those aren’t quite Rutherford “B-ig Shot” Hayes numbers, but they’re still respectable. He’s more of a points-in-the-paint type president anyway, in the William Taft / Andrew Jackson power-forward mold.

As Trey Kerby put it, “Miss a bunch then hit the last one to look cool? This guy must be a huge Kobe Bryant fan”:

(Politico, via @treykerby)

6 April
Friday

Blind Iraq War Veteran Throws Perfect First Pitch And What Are We Doing With Our Lives?

Here’s a video of Jeremy Feldbusch, an Iraq war veteran who lost his sight overseas, throwing out the ceremonial first pitch at yesterday’s Pirates/Phillies game in Pittsburgh. The video is already triumphant and touching from the initial round of applause, but then the guy goes ahead and frickin’ GUNS the ball to home plate, and it’s just really unexpectedly transcendent.

Related Note: Do you ever wonder if we’re not doing enough with our lives? I mean, I made this important Bath Of The Titans Photoshop, so I know I’M doing my part, I just wonder if maybe YOU guys were thinking that, or something, maybe. Anyway – watch:

(via Bucs Dugout)

6 April
Friday

Bill Murray Slides Into Home, A Nation’s Hearts


Maybe if Bill Murray spontaneously ran the bases at every Major League Baseball game, as he did before throwing out the first pitch at the Cubs game at Wrigley Field last night, maybe then I could finally get emotionally involved with sports.

Ah, but then there’s football, basketball, hockey, tennis, water polo and track and field, and I just can’t imagine the man has that kind of spare time. On a somewhat related note, Dr. Venkman can really get those knees up, right? My exercise-induced asthma is acting up just watching this.

 

(Yahoo Sports)

4 April
Wednesday

A 2012 Major League Baseball Preview Based Entirely On Team-Name Cuteness

The 2012 Major League Baseball Season is officially upon us, and while I’d love to channel my enthusiasm into a big “MLB Season Preview” post, most of my past attempts to sneak pseudo-sportswriting onto BWE have been met with varying degrees of reader-apathy.

So, rather than completely give up, let’s meet somewhere in the middle with something everyone on Bestweekever DOES like: Random, adorable photos of things. Here’s a division-by-division breakdown of what to expect this Baseball Season based entirely on the cuteness of one photo representing each team nickname. LET THE ANALYSIS BEGIN:

American League East

1. Baltimore Orioles

2. Boston Red Sox


[Photo: Flickr]

3. New York Yankees

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