Randomness

This Sunday, I braved the 62 degree weather here in New York and headed down to Madison Sqaure Garden for the Annual Cat Fanciers’ Association Iams Cat Championship, otherwise known as “OMG CATS!!!” The only times I’ll set foot into MSG are when Bon Jovi is in town, or when the Cat Show is here* (*Note: This is not true at all), so you can imagine my delight when, upon entering the cat area, a 14-year-old with a pretty bad attitude dressed up like Mr. Mistoffelees from Cats shoved a bag in my hands with cat food samples. I might not have a cat of my own, but I did have a pretty long train ride home, so I figured I’d hold onto them just in case.

Now, if you’ve never been to a Cat Show (golf clap), you’re probably picturing something akin to the Westminster Kennel Club, the classy affair aired on USA every year, where ladies in polyester pantssuits and men in polyester pantssuits parade their breeds around a big grassy ring. Well, erase that image right out of your head. The Cat Show is more like Fancy Cat Jail, where the human competitors sit in aisles that smell faintly of cat urine and show of their wares.

But before my friend and I approached any of the prize-winning felines, we were greeted by a cheerful Iams representative who encouraged us to spin a big pink wheel and answer a cat question for a prize. Being a sucker for “ticking” noises, I took him up on his offer, and gave the Wheel of Lonely Ladies a twirl. I landed on trivia. Before I tell you the question I was asked, please buckle your seatbelts and set your time machine dials to 1993. The question read: “What was the name of the cat in the movie Homeward Bound?” Uh… what? Am I on like ReRe Genius Jeopardy or something?

Sensing my confusion, the rep gave me a clue “Her name rhymes with her style… Classy.” And there, in front of dozens of small children, I shouted out my guess: “ASSY?!?” This was not meant to be a joke, moreso an actual guess. The answer, it turns out, was Sassy. I still got a t-shirt, but it doesn’t look like I’ll be the Mayor of Sassytown anytime soon.

What follows is a photodiary of my day, along with live commentary. Here’s what I will tell you: Folks who show cats for a living seem like they give waaaay more money towards caring for their animals than caring for themselves. I had never seen more people with dirty, thin hair than I saw this day. That being said, they are also some of the nicest people to grace this dirty Rat Island of ours. Cat Bless America.

For those who don’t believe that the Cat Show is nothing more than Pretty Cat Jail, check out the way this Russian Blue passes time in his cage, when not getting his balls grabbed by a pervy handler:

“Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen”, translated loosely into Russian, reads as: Никто не знает неприятность, которую я видел, никто не знает жаль

After the jump! My photo diary from the CFA Cat Show, including some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met in my life… ever. Won’t you click ahead and join me on my journey?

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