everything else
AugustTalk about a “Jai Ho“! (Slumdog Millionaire jokes are still in, right?) Here’s hoping that the next generation of young, American pole dancers — be they boys or girls, we support equal employment opportunities for strippers of all genders! — put away their tattered copies of Showgirls, Striptease and American Anthem and instead start drawing their inspirado from these outrageously gifted Indian gents. Eat your heart out, Mitch Gaylord!
[Tip of the cap to our buddy Reihan Salam]
April
Your loyal and friendly (if not necessarily health conscious) staff here at BWE.tv have had the date April 12 circled on our calendars for some time now. No, not because Two And A Half Men is returning from a brief hiatus; rather, because it was the day that Colonel Sanders’s glorious vision would at last come true. Finally, the world would move past its childish fascination with loaves of bread and realize that, once and for all, all sandwiches should be cased within two pieces of fried chicken!
Yes, that’s right, today marks the day that KFC unleashed the Double Down sandwich upon this God-fearing nation of ours. And being the gluttons for punishment that we are, we trudged through waves upon waves of unwashed tourists in Times Square en route to ordering up one of these calorie-laden masterpieces. Follow along, if you dare, for our review.
FebruaryIt’s only Tuesday, and we have already been graced with two videos of animals who think they’re people. I wish every week started out like this.
First, can a pigeon really juggle a career AND find love? This fall on FOX, one bird proves it takes more than wings to get to the top and have it all! [via Buzzfeed]
The fact that the pigeon is nonchalantly riding the subway isn’t even the most impressive part. What got me is that the bird gave up its seat to an elderly woman. That bird has manners.
After the jump, see video of the coyote that is rumored to be the new head of the NYC Parks Department.
FebruarySome of you may be nursing a wicked hangover from yesterday’s festivities related to Mardi Gras or Carnival or the Women’s Curling Round Robin. However, unless you were working on the German Stock Exchange, your party was complete amateur hour.
Look how much fun they’re having? Who needs beads and topless women when you can do a conga line while buying 10,000 shares of… well something German I suppose. Schnitzel? The band Rammstein? Anyway, moving on… Here is what you missed:
Do those German realize that the graph behind them is completely tanking? Did the entire German economy collapse yesterday because everyone was too busy partying like they’re at a bad sorority Halloween mixer? Maybe Wall Street should take a page from the Germans and enact year-round Carnival work environment. If the whole financial system implodes again, we get to see pictures of funny clowns gasping in horror.
See more of the German party fun time after the jump
FebruaryJimmy Grey Jr. may be unemployed, but that didn’t stop him from building a 600 square foot igloo complete with a home theater inside. He is basically living in a Bud Light commercial now. Be careful, though, Jimmy. Those ads usually end in someone getting kicked in the nuts or electrocuted. Actually, I hope some potential employers watch this video, because any man who would put off tweaking his resume to install electrical components in to a house made entirely of water is a man you want on your team.
Jimmy has this recession thing all figured out. I’d love to see a bank try to foreclose on this thing come April. Someone get a New Yorker cartoonist on the line, stat.
This guy makes me feel lazy. The most ambitious snow construction I’ve ever undertaken is making this replica of the Four Toed Statue from Lost:
October
We have no idea what, exactly, Camilla Parker Bowles is speaking about. What we do know is that it’s on behalf of a giant, bandana-wearing donkey. And if ever there was a more perfect match, we certainly don’t want to know about it.
(Fine, if you really care, she was speaking on behalf of her animal welfare charity. But really, of all the animals??? PS: Never Forget:)
For more HILARIOUS Camilla horse pics, click here.
JanuaryHeroes seems to be running out of compelling superpowers to give their characters these days, so while they’re on hiatus during the writers strike, perhaps they should take a gander at these REAL super-heroes with REAL super-powers our friend Matt Yule from Citizen Hero found for us on MySpace. They’re all pretty super.
Male, 30 years old
Male, 37 years old
Male, 16 years old
Male, 99 years old
Male, 41 years old
DecemberFrom JAUNTED — Tis the season for travel and delayed flights. The friendly faces over at Jaunted had an experience unlike Michelle’s Virgin Atlantic extravaganza, but still notable enough to blog about. Check out the insanity, after the jump!
DecemberFrom JOSSIP — It is difficult to decide what to get your pretend tv friends, this much is true. So why don’t you check out Lauren Conrads gift guide and see if they are appropriately placed on The Hills next season. Check it out, after the jump!
OctoberThis Sunday, I braved the 62 degree weather here in New York and headed down to Madison Sqaure Garden for the Annual Cat Fanciers’ Association Iams Cat Championship, otherwise known as “OMG CATS!!!” The only times I’ll set foot into MSG are when Bon Jovi is in town, or when the Cat Show is here* (*Note: This is not true at all), so you can imagine my delight when, upon entering the cat area, a 14-year-old with a pretty bad attitude dressed up like Mr. Mistoffelees from Cats shoved a bag in my hands with cat food samples. I might not have a cat of my own, but I did have a pretty long train ride home, so I figured I’d hold onto them just in case.
Now, if you’ve never been to a Cat Show (golf clap), you’re probably picturing something akin to the Westminster Kennel Club, the classy affair aired on USA every year, where ladies in polyester pantssuits and men in polyester pantssuits parade their breeds around a big grassy ring. Well, erase that image right out of your head. The Cat Show is more like Fancy Cat Jail, where the human competitors sit in aisles that smell faintly of cat urine and show of their wares.
But before my friend and I approached any of the prize-winning felines, we were greeted by a cheerful Iams representative who encouraged us to spin a big pink wheel and answer a cat question for a prize. Being a sucker for “ticking” noises, I took him up on his offer, and gave the Wheel of Lonely Ladies a twirl. I landed on trivia. Before I tell you the question I was asked, please buckle your seatbelts and set your time machine dials to 1993. The question read: “What was the name of the cat in the movie Homeward Bound?” Uh… what? Am I on like ReRe Genius Jeopardy or something?
Sensing my confusion, the rep gave me a clue “Her name rhymes with her style… Classy.” And there, in front of dozens of small children, I shouted out my guess: “ASSY?!?” This was not meant to be a joke, moreso an actual guess. The answer, it turns out, was Sassy. I still got a t-shirt, but it doesn’t look like I’ll be the Mayor of Sassytown anytime soon.
What follows is a photodiary of my day, along with live commentary. Here’s what I will tell you: Folks who show cats for a living seem like they give waaaay more money towards caring for their animals than caring for themselves. I had never seen more people with dirty, thin hair than I saw this day. That being said, they are also some of the nicest people to grace this dirty Rat Island of ours. Cat Bless America.
For those who don’t believe that the Cat Show is nothing more than Pretty Cat Jail, check out the way this Russian Blue passes time in his cage, when not getting his balls grabbed by a pervy handler:
After the jump! My photo diary from the CFA Cat Show, including some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met in my life… ever. Won’t you click ahead and join me on my journey?
Michelle Collins
Managing Editor
Dan Hopper
Senior Editor
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