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29 April
Friday

Introducing Gabe & Max Like The Internet, A Brand New Show Celebrating The Best Video Clips The Internet Has To Offer


 

 

Do you guys like the internet? What’s that, you don’t? Oh well, move along then, nothing to see here!

Now that we got rid of those bozos, we’re pretty sure that we can all agree that the internet is a magical and wonderful place, filled with cute animal videos, porn, and more cute animal videos. There’s only one problem with the internet: It’s too big!

To help combat this problematic issue of having too many awesome things on the internet and not nearly enough time to digest them all, we are thrilled to present to you the very first installment of Gabe & Max Like The Internet, a weekly show that will cover the best and worst that the internet has to offer. The program is hosted by the talented duo of Gabe Delahaye (Videogum) and Max Silvestri (one of New York Magazine’s Ten Comedians That Funny People Find Funny), who you’ll remember from Gabe & Max’s Guide to Man Style and “Gabe and Max’s How To Get the Dreamlife of Your Dreams Using the Internet.” And now that we’ve got the intros out of the way, there’s nothing left to do but for you to enjoy!
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28 April
Thursday

10 Things You Would Rather Watch At 4 AM Than The Royal Wedding

Tomorrow, all across the world, people will be watching the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. If you live in the United States and want to catch all the pre-game stuff, that means waking up at sometime around 4:00 in the morning. Most of us, however, will not be waking up to watch British strangers exchange vows because even if our own brother got married at 4 AM, we’d tell him to f*ck off.

But if, by chance, you have some other reason to be awake at 4 AM on Friday morning, there are many other other things you can watch on TV. A quick look through your cable guide menu will reveal a whole ton of stuff you’d way rather see at that hour than a royal wedding.

1.

Because “shafts” isn’t capitalized, we can assume this isn’t about a bunch of dudes actually dressed like Shaft. And that’s a bit disappointing. But still… way better than a wedding.

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28 April
Thursday

So Karl Lagerfeld Has A Big Chocolate Sculpture Of His Boyfriend

Computers should come with a backspace that works on Karl Lagerfield‘s life.

From Gawker:

Fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld doesn’t go anywhere without his traveling companion and muse Baptiste Giabiconi. Now he’s reserved a very interesting honor for the comely young man: Uncle Karl has sculpted the boy in chocolate… The work debuted today in Paris, where Karl is hoping to promote ice cream brand Magnum.

On a gayness scale, a life-size chocolate sculpture of your model boy toy might actually fall below naming your ice cream brand after condoms for enormous penises. But it’s a very close gay call.

I can’t even imagine what a straight version of this would be. Maybe a sculpture of Jessica Biel made out of steak to promote a restaurant called Computer Porn? But that’s actually a little reminiscent of Lady Gaga‘s meat dress which is just gay all over again. We need to get a think tank working on this.

Thanks for the heads up, Sarah Walker.

25 April
Monday

Ryan Phillippe Trying To Act Like He’ll Stop Acting

OK Magazine is reporting that Ryan Phillippe has expressed interest in ending his acting career.

“It’s so hard to go out in L.A. I’m going to move,” Ryan told The New York Post’s Page Six. “I’m going to spend a third of my year in New York.” The star of The Bang Bang Club says he’s been looking at places in SoHo. “I think I’m going to end my acting career,” he added. “I’m so introverted. I’m ready to be behind the scenes. I’m 36, but I’ve been doing this for 20 years.”

Yes, correct. If you want to have a lower public profile, you move to SoHo. Everyone one knows that. Manhattan: The Introvert’s Paradise.

But, as for the acting thing… Ryan Phillippe, what are you talking about? You’re honestly planning to work much harder and make much less money?

Why do actor’s always pretend they’re going to do this? I don’t know much about Ryan Phillippe other than that he’s dating that Las Vegas tiger magician, Amanda Siegfried, and that he had two kids with his ex, John Witherspoon. But if he wants to continue that kind of lifestyle, it seems like he should stick with acting.

You don’t get to hang around with large predatory cats and the dad from Friday when you’re not a Hollywood actor. Ryan Phillipe, you’re not quitting and you know it. Now get back to work on Cruelest-er Intentions.

22 April
Friday

Being Almost Named Sheryl Crow Proves Difficult For Cheryl Cole

There is a British band called Girls Aloud, and their singer is a lady named Cheryl Cole, which, as you might have noticed from looking at the letters, is almost like but not exactly the same as Sheryl Crow.

From NME.com:

Cheryl Cole’s bid to get a spot on the judging panel of the US version of The X Factor has apparently hit the skids – as Americans are regularly confusing her with Sheryl Crow. The Girls Aloud singer is looking to land a spot on the TV talent show when it launches in the States next year, despite not having a profile in the country. However, The Sun reports that Cole is regularly being confused with the ‘Soak Up The Sun’ singer.

When asked about Cole, actress and singer Jennifer Hudson told the red top: “Sheryl Crow? No, I’m not familiar with her.”

And that is, to date, the best Jennifer Hudson quote of all time.

Thanks to Sarah Walker for her first post-blog tip.

21 April
Thursday

New BO.LT Tool Will Change Internet Joke Landscape Forever

Oh, boy. We’re about to start seeing so many parody websites. It’s inevitable. The cyber avalanche cannot be stopped.

From the Huffington Post Tech Page:

BO.LT is a web-based tool that enables people to quickly, without code, remix the content presented on a website, from changing images and editing text to swapping headlines and deleting entire parts of the page.

Users enter the URL of a website into BO.LT, then BO.LT quickly creates a complete copy of the page, duplicating every detail down to the ads that appear and the links to the brand’s Facebook page.

Well right off the bat I would suggest that somebody make “Blessed Week Ever” and have it be only stories about famous people thanking Jesus after winning awards/sportsgames. And then I would strongly recommend that no one make “Amyzon.com” which would be a site that only sold books by people named Amy. Nobody make that one; it’s pointless. Also, nobody make “Fingerbook.com” which would be an online community in which you only friend request people that you’ve fingered. That is so gross. If you’ve even briefly considered making that fake site, you have serious issues.

11 March
Friday

Even Kristen Wiig’s Mom Hates Gilly

In an outstanding interview with Mike Ryan of Movieline.com, the supremely talented yet still polarizing SNL star Kristen Wiig admits that some of her characters aren’t as well-received by the public at large as others. Take Gilly, for example, arguably the most annoying recurring character on the show over the last few seasons. “I mean, the first time that I did [Gilly],” Wiig states, “my mom, the next day was like, ‘Oh, I did not like that. That new character you did, I did not like her!’” Pretty harsh, Mom!

However, Wiig isn’t the kind of performer who lets something like a little negative feedback — even when it’s coming from the woman who gave birth to her — drag her down. “People are going either going to love it or they are not going to love it. But I can’t think about that stuff when I’m writing something. You know, it’s great when they like it, but, if they don’t, they have their right to not like it … If you’re creating anything at all, it’s really dangerous to care about what people think.”

While we certainly respect and admire the level of self-confidence it takes to put yourself out on the line in front of millions of viewers each time a performer steps on the boards of Studio 8H, we’d be perfectly content if another Gilly sketch never made it to air. Speaking of which, as we get prepped for tomorrow night’s Zach Galifianakis/Jessie J episode, we thought we’d throw a question out to you, the loyal, well-informed and extremely opinionated BWE reader: Who are your least favorite recurring characters on SNL, both now and in the entire history of the show? You know where to respond, so let’s get to it!

8 March
Tuesday

SNL Power Rankings: Miley Cyrus Is The Poor Man’s Emma Stone

While watching this weekend’s episode of Saturday Night Live, a sensation not unlike déjà vu washed over me. At first, it was tough to place, considering Miley Cyrus had never before hosted the show. However, by the time the “Les Jeunes de Paris” sketch came around, I figured it out: The show’s writers gave Miley basically the same material to perform as they did when Emma Stone hosted SNL back in October. Careful watchers will note that both did Lindsay Lohan impressions, both danced it up with Taran Killam, and Lorne even decided to rerun the “Baby Spanx” commercial that first aired during Stone’s ep. What gives?

Well, it’s probably this: Although I love Emma Stone’s work in film, both her and Cyrus demonstrated during their respective hosting stints that they’re not natural sketch comediennes. I can only assume that the writers panicked a bit when Cyrus showed up early last week to begin preparing for the show, as they relied on her ability to sing (however thinly) as a crutch repeatedly during the episode. She wasn’t exactly January Jones terrible, mind you, but it will likely be some time before she’s invited back to host again.

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28 February
Monday

Corey Haim Finally Gets The Tribute That Those Pretentious Jerks Who Run The Oscars Neglected To Give Him

Whether or not you believe that the 2011 Oscars were the worst thing since sliced bread*, there is one thing that we can all agree on. Someone in the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences needs to pay (and pay dearly) for snubbing Corey Haim during last night’s Death March In Memoriam segment. Admittedly, Haim burned more bridges than Dylan McKay and wore out his welcome in Hollywood circles long before his untimely passing on March 10th, 2010, but that doesn’t give anyone the right to pretend that The Coreys never existed!

Since those jerks at the Academy had the unmitigated gall to dis our favorite Dreamer of Little Dreams, we figured that we’d put together the tribute to Corey Haim that he so richly deserves.

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25 February
Friday

Donald Glover’s Rap Alter Ego, Childish Gambino, Drops His Video For “Freaks And Geeks”

There are probably a number of you who only know Donald Glover from his work as Troy on Community. And you know what? That’s totally fine! It’s totally cool by us if you not as steeped in the origin story of Donald Glover as we are. So let’s break it down, shall we?

Glover got his start as a member of the comedy troupe Derrick, an ensemble which released a movie called Mystery Team back in 2009 (which comes with a coveted Dan Hopper endorsement, mind you!). Glover is also a talented writer (he was a staff writer for 30 Rock) and, believe it or not, a shockingly good rapper. Glover’s hip-hop alter ego is Childish Gambino, and he’ll be releasing an album under that moniker on March 8. The video for his first single off the record, “Freaks And Geeks,” just hit the internet a few hours ago and it’s already a trending topic on Twitter.

FOLLOW ALONG FOR THE NSFW VIDEO

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