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Simi-Lebrities

13 March
Thursday

SIMI-LEBRITIES: Leave It To The Professionals

Listen, we’re not afraid to tell you when a celebrity looks like another thing, but crafting these comparative photographic analyses is much harder than it looks, and should thus be left to the pros (ie, us). Case in point: today’s Daily Mail straight up compares Nicole Kidman’s botoxed face to a bat. Here’s their argument:

nicolebatLL_468x419.jpg

Really, Daily Mail? Batface? Sure, she looks a little tighter than she should throughout the facial regions, but does she look like a blind, hairy flying mouse who dwells in caves? Really? Well, if you say so. Based on your non-existent logic, celebrities really can look like lots of things from the Animal Kingdom.

See a few more after the jump!

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7 March
Friday

SIMI-LEBRITIES: Blossom Castro

BLOSSOM CASTRO.jpg

We’re just saying, American Idol‘s Jason Castro. The dreads are realllllly pushing it, but throw a couple of daisies into them, along with your beautiful lady face, and your borderlining on Mayim Bialik‘s territory. You’re on dangerous ground.

25 February
Monday

ANDROGY-TEST: Who Does Tilda Swinton Look Like?

TILDA SWINTYYY.JPG

We’ve received many e-mails offering up suggestions as to who Best Supporting Actress winner Tilda Swinton resembles. And since we’re having trouble deciding who she most resembles, we’ve decided to bring the question to you. So… Who Does Tilda Swinton Look Like?

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Tell us your answer or feel free to suggest another Tilda-Twin in the comments!

19 February
Tuesday

CELEBRITY MATH: She’s a Real Doll

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Letter from The Editor:

While researching the above Celebrity Math, I headed over to the Real Doll website (NSFW) to find the perfect lady to depict said “Low Budget Real Doll.” It was in their Doll Gallery that I made the most startling web discovery of my entire life…

THERE IS A REAL DOLL THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ME. Dash of the downs and all.

After the jump, a Simi-lebrity of sorts.

Click ahead!

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25 January
Friday

SIMI-LEBRITIES: Jackie Stallone is Carrot Top in “My Nightmares”

Has anyone ever seen Jackie Stallone and Carrot Top shooting roids in the back of a Vegas strip club at the same time? Because, according to reader Elise R., they seem to actually be the same person.

CARROT STALLINE.jpg

I’ll take “Vacantly Staring into the Void of My Soul” for $1000, Alex.

18 January
Friday

SIMI-LEBRITIES: Is This Too Obvious To Even Bother Pointing Out?

I know I’m not the first person to think of this — how could I be? it’s sooo frickin’ blatant — but the robot from Pixar’s upcoming movie “Wall-E” bears a taaaad of a resemblence to Johnny 5 from “Short Circuit.”

Robots

In my estimation, Pixar has earned the biggest benefit of the doubt in the history of benefit-doubting (even if you count Cars), but at this point, are they intentionally challenging us by saying “watch this, we’ll deliberately rip off the character from a goofy 80s sci-fi comedy and still make an awesome movie out of it.” I’ll wait to see the film before I judge, but if Wall-E has the ability to flip through books in a fraction of a second, I’m calling shenanigans. Look at those pictures! Daaayyyummmmnnnn.

NOTE: Upon Google searching, I found this, this, and this, proving that this is, indeed, the most obvious comparison in movie history, or at least since “Mission to Mars” and “Red Planet” both came out like four days apart.

16 January
Wednesday

SIMI-LEBRITIES: Old Gellar

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We’re not sure when Sarah Michelle Gellar made the shift from being “sexy gal who kills vampires” to “white eyeliner wearing lady who might read us the evening news on CBS and is also named Katie Couric“, but we’re definitely sure that we don’t approve of the change.

19 December
Wednesday

SIMI-LEBRITIES: Back to Bat

WINEHOUSE BAT BOY PIC.JPG

You know Amy Winehouse is hiding some pointy-ass ears and some serious scalp-fuzz under that huge maggot’s nest of secrets she wears, like the photo of Bat Boy on the right illustrates. But really, if Winehouse’s pipes haven’t completely run dry and she can actually house a chicken nugget of a bun in her oven, ya’ll know this is what her bay-bee would look likeee.

18 December
Tuesday

SIMI-LEBRITIES: He’s the Villain With the Most, Babe.

Not sure why everyone was so excited about the preliminary trailer for “The Dark Knight“. I mean, I’m almost positive I’ve seen this movie before at least like three, maybe four hundred times on TBS. Not sure why that is…

Beetlejoker

12 December
Wednesday

SIMI-LEBRITIES: Denzel Washington’s Tracy Morgan Impression Actually Pretty Good

Here is Denzel Washington at the premiere of his upcoming movie that uses the Rudy theme in the trailer, The Great Debaters. And we’re guessing he threw some sort of over-the-top backstage tantrum before walking the red carpet, as he is making a killer “Tracy Jordan” face…

DENZEL JORDAN.JPG

Tracy Jordan: Best Television Character of 2007, yes? Can someone maybe make a mash-up of The Great Debaters trailer with Werewolf Bar Mitzvah? It’s probably going to be a slow news day. (You can’t top an early morning Alba fetus, folks.)