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The 25 Most Elegant Animals On The Internet

Michelle Collins — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 20:02:15 +0000

Meet my new favorite artist: Martine Roch. Ms. Roche lives in Dijon, France, where people just fling Grey Poupon at each other from limousine windows (presumably), and she creates simply precious paintings of animals as people in her series known as The Characters. The Characters range from her golden lab to monkeys and cats morphed together with old photographs. The result are images that make me wish for a time when llamas could serenade me by the Siene as I coquettishly twirl my parasol (#3 on my bucket list).

Since we are such fans of her work, we combed through her oeuvre to bring you what are easily the 25 Most Elegant Animals On The Internet (after this guy). E-mail this to you Mom and enjoy the rest of your day.

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All Photos Via Martine Roch’s Flickr and Website. You can buy prints of all the above pictures here!

CAPTION THIS: Spider-Man Is Bad At Cabs

Dan Hopper — Wed, 04 May 2011 16:55:56 +0000

- “You might wanna look away for a sec while I grab my wallet.”

- Spider-Man Musical attempts to improve safety by having the actor sit outside the cab when it explodes.

- “Nah, I’m not the guy from Spider-Man 3 but I do get that a lot.”

- Noah adds: Spider-Man fails to fit entire cab in butthole

Think you can do better? (Hint: you can!) Caption away in the comments.

(pic via Splash News)

CAPTION THIS: The White House Watches The Osama Raid

Dan Hopper — Tue, 03 May 2011 16:57:03 +0000

- “Is that…Paul Reiser?”

- “Which one of us does Russian Gary Oldman shoot next?”

- “ANOTHER commercial? God dammit, Chopped.”

Noah adds: “Can we switch it over to NOGGIN real quick?”

Other captions? Leave ‘em in the comments.

(pic via Flickr)

South Korea Welcomes The New Year With An Underwater SCUBA Rabbit

Dan Hopper — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 17:00:51 +0000

In honor of the new year in South Korea, here’s a dude in a SCUBA rabbit suit doing underwater acrobatics in the middle of a bunch of fish. As I suspected, this is indeed the Korean equivalent of a NKOTB / Backstreet Boys Supergroup:

2011 is officially the Year of the Rabbit in Korea, so, you know, flipping SCUBA bunny. Though it’s certainly no Avril Lavigne singing “Girlfriend” for a bunch of Times Square-ites delirious with bathroom-holding-in, at least in terms of me not precisely knowing why I’m seeing it.

Bears Don’t Shake Hands, Bears Gotta HUG!

Dan Hopper — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 18:55:28 +0000

Awww, photos of two brother bears hugging at a national park in Alaska! It’s all the adorableness of Grizzly Man, but without any delusional cause-addicts getting themselves predictably mauled!

Cuuuute! Though I’m sure some buzzkill scientician will explain that this isn’t actually a hug, it’s probably some horrible instinctual behavior that looks like a hug (they’re resting up to tag-team murder their cubs so their females go back into heat or something), but whatever it is, it sure looks adorable to me, and that’s the only science I care about! Also, ichthyology.

After the jump, two more pics of the brother bears bro’in it up:

Chilean Miners Rewarded For Miraculous Survival With Bus Tour Of Los Angeles

Dan Hopper — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 16:46:06 +0000

In honor of their having been trapped in a mine, the Chilean Miners were given a full sightseeing tour of Los Angeles yesterday, including a double-decker bus ride and a trip to the Walk of Fame, to just re-affirm how really, really tough their jobs were even before the mine collapsed.

Unfortunately, most of the people walking around L.A. probably assumed they were just some D-bags still wearing their Chilean Miners group Halloween costumes, and kept shooting them bad looks:

3 more pics after the jump, including a giant ad for Entourage. What a time to be alive, eh miners?

(pics via Splash News Online)

Fat Guy In Little Beach Chair: A Photojournal

Dan Hopper — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 20:48:22 +0000

Additional pic and spoiler after the jump:

Turns out, they were filming a scene for some show called Naked Man. I was much happier before I knew this. Though that does make the photographer seem a lot less sadistic.

Man Protests Westboro Baptist Church in Best Way Possible: With Sign

Michelle Collins — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 17:30:24 +0000

The missing links over at the Westboro Baptist Church will find any occasion necessary to break out their well-worn “God Hates F*gs” and “God Hates Jews” signs. Crushing news for Harvey Fierstein.

But today, the animals at the WBC have met their nemesis:

Meet Random Dude With a Sign. God definitely loves this guy. He’s 100 percent Constitutional!

(via Wilson Cruz’ Twitter)

Did someone say Twitter???

Follow Me on Twitter.

Follow BWEtv on Twitter.

Woody Harrelson Plays B-Ball With JT… Is This A Remake Of That Movie Money Train?

Dan Hopper — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 19:21:02 +0000

Here’s Woody Harrelson playing basketball with Justin Timberlake on the set of their new movie, Friends With Benefits. Looks to me like this movie is just a remake of the Woody Harrelson / Wesley Snipes basketball classic, Money Train. Woody’s character in that movie played basketball when he wasn’t robbing money trains.

More pics below of JT bringing BASKETBALL back! That’s what I would’ve typed if this were a tabloid in 2006-07. Which it kinda is. I’m leaving it.

Sex And The City 3 Takes A Really Dark Turn

Dan Hopper — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 16:57:42 +0000

Actually, Mr. Worst IMDB Pic Ever is just cutting the ribbon to inaugurate the table games at a Pennsylvania casino. Which would make a far more plausible and interesting plot than the actual Sex & The City 2 sequel, and they wouldn’t have to shoot in Morocco and call it Pennsylvania. Also the characters are 60.

After the jump, Noth puts on his gamblin’ shoes:

“C’mon, seven…mama needs a new pair of really expensive shoes because she really likes those!” That’s the tagline.

Will Smith Confuses Son Jaden for Boyfriend

Michelle Collins — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 16:25:40 +0000

We kid!!!!!!! We. Kid. We Karate Kid.

Here are some adorable photos of Will Smith showin’ a little love to his superstar son Jaden Smith at a press conference for The Karate Kid in Berlin, Germany.

Aww, look how proud Will is of the world’s tiniest a-hole! Wait, you guys, stop, he’s just a child. Seriously. It’s wrong.

Here’s a GIF we’d like to have special delivered to Jaden so that he may relive this prized, glorious father and son moment forever for infinity.

All Of High Fashion Summed Up In One Photo (Part 2)

Dan Hopper — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 17:25:58 +0000

Next up in our ongoing series “Does Anyone In High Fashion Have The Guts To Be Like, ‘Hey Everyone, This Is Really Stupid!’” (Part 1: Lion-O), we present this photo from Barcelona Fashion Week:

Awesome! It’s about time Gallagher’s stage outfit from 1986 made a comeback! Fashion trends truly are cyclical.

After the jump, two more pics from the Juan Antonio Avalos “Stoic Balloon Hats” runway show, really tempting that Emperor’s New Clothes kid to speak up:

(Getty Images)

The Heat Signed Mickey Mouse Too? That’s Ridiculous

Dan Hopper — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 14:32:53 +0000

I am posting this pic of Dwyane Wade just so I can make the joke “How are the Heat gonna fit Mickey Mouse under the cap? I guess he does have some character issues,” and link one of my favorite videos ever. Done and done!

All Of High Fashion Summed Up In One Photo

Dan Hopper — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 16:11:51 +0000

Chanel is really taking some risks at Paris Haute Couture Fashion Week with this bold new Thundercats Orchestra Conductor line.

On a related note, this whole world is stupid.

Joe Biden, Still Pulling The Tough Assignments

Dan Hopper — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 17:26:05 +0000

“Hey Joe, big favor – I’ve got my hands tied with this whole reacting to the Israel flotilla situation without sacrificing our influence on the cusp of a UN anti-nuclear resolution for the Middle East which could be the difference between peace and a nuclear war within the decade. Do you mind going to that Sesame Street dinner?”

“On it!”

BREAKING: Rip Torn Now A Sea Captain

Dan Hopper — Tue, 25 May 2010 20:45:07 +0000

Here’s Rip Torn outside his courtroom hearing today, giving a thumbs up as if to say “Yarrr, matey, I now be a sea captain!”

What a clichéd celebrity tactic – converting to sea captain right after you’re charged with a crime. I’m not buying it.

DANZ BONER KORNER: Hey Check Out These Wonderbra Models Jumping On Trampolines!!!

Dan Hopper — Tue, 18 May 2010 19:13:24 +0000

No matter what excuse I come up with to post these photos of models in Madrid trying out the new Wonderbra by jumping on a trampoline and try to make fun of it in some haughty, “I’m too cool to actually care about these pics” blogger kinda way, the post would still clearly just be an excuse to post pics of lingerie models jumping on trampolines, because people on the internet seem to click on that sorta thing.

So, rather than fight this impulse with my detached, consciously self-assured blogger cynicism, I’m just gonna go 180 degrees the other way and post the photos as shamelessly as possible. Introduce a new feature…

DANZ BONER KORNER: Check Out These Models In Wonderbras Jumping On Trampolines!!!

I would’ve made a PETA joke, for the record.

Sting Still Orgasming From That Time He Talked About Tantric Sex Ten Years Ago

Dan Hopper — Fri, 14 May 2010 15:42:29 +0000

Here’s Sting performing on the Today Show this morning. “Performing” – WINKKKK!!!! I’m winking because his performance looks like a performance with his penis:

More pics of Sting on the Today Show, with varying degrees of ridiculousness / sexuality:

After the jump, Dana Carvey’s Sting bit, because it’s been too long since Comedy Central aired this every summer afternoon:

Ahhh!!! This Army Of Billy Elliotts Will Devour Us All!!!

Dan Hopper — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 15:47:21 +0000

April Fool’s!!!! They won’t actually devour us. Probably just maim us through dancing and leave us for dead. They’re not cannibals.

Michael Bloomberg Dresses Up As Hippie; Vietnam War Finally Ends

Dan Hopper — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 16:23:23 +0000

Here’s New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg dressing up as a 60s hippie, either to show solidarity with the cast of Hair or to loom over young people as a grim, depressing specter symbolizing the aging aftermath of their lifestyle. Either way, this photo has finally ended the Vietnam War:

More Bloomberg Hippie pics in the gallery below. Next up: The Pimps n’ Ho’s themed mayoral case race.

EXCLUSIVE: Jesse James’ Other Mistress Has An Awful Photo Too!

Dan Hopper — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 22:34:37 +0000

First, Sandra Bullock’s husband Jesse James was linked to a mistress named Michelle McGee, then photos leaked online of McGee dressed as a Nazi, then Jesse James was linked to another mistress named Melissa Smith, and just today, BWE has obtained this EXCLUSIVE photo of the mistress Melissa Smith doing…well, just take a look (click to enlarge):

The Monkey Is Learning About Itself!

Dan Hopper — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 16:00:27 +0000

Man, that’s meta. MetADORABLE:

Mistuww zoowkeeper, what does “undangered” mean? Why is my mommy undangerded?

[Sound of animal photo cracking the steely facade of yet another jaded-into-scoffing-at-animal-photos blogger]

CAPTION THIS: When Liberty Met Egypty

Dan Hopper — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 22:14:29 +0000

“So uh…you got any weed”

“What do you worship here? Non-cats? That’s f*ckin’ weird.”

“Excuse me, where is the dog face restroom?”

“Hey, catch! OMG just kidding just kidding, LOL, sorry, had to!”

Leave your own captions in the comments. Can you do better that braindead, 6 pm Noah and me? If not, that statue really is gonna enslave us humans.

This Mickey Rourke / Pomeranian Photo Raises Serious Questions About Cuteness

Dan Hopper — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 21:10:56 +0000

Herrmmmmm…

I vote “cute,” if only because Mickey Rourke thanked his dogs during his Golden Globes acceptance speech, so he’s probably a really good dog owner, even if he does have a kind of Overkill from G.I. Joe thing going on with that right arm. His left arm is his dogging arm, so it’s all good.

CAPTION THIS: Jennifer Aniston Would Like To Introduce You To Her Invisible Child

Tom Ganjamie — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 21:01:29 +0000

Jennifer Aniston pulled herself together for the UK premiere of The Bounty Hunter today, and it seems she brought a friend along. Say hi!

What’s your name, little guy? You look just like your mommy!

(Pssst… let’s all just humor her until this passes. Thanks.)

CAPTION THIS: Two American Heroes Argue Over Who Has Gotten Higher In Their Lifetime

Tom Ganjamie — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 17:05:49 +0000

Hollywood’s two new favorite non-actors Buzz Aldrin and Shaun White attended the Vanity Fair Oscar Party last night. I’m guessing they are pitching a movie about snowboarders who accidentally attend space camp due to a paperwork mixup:

CAPTION THIS: J.J. Abrams Explains Why Lost Still Makes More Sense Than Scientology

Tom Ganjamie — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 16:59:51 +0000

J.J. Abrams and a freakishly tan Tom Cruise attended the fifth annual Oscar Wilde awards last night, and got in to some kind of in depth discussion. I’m guessing Tom Cruise is still on season 1 of Lost:

The Many Faces Of Harrison Ford

Tom Ganjamie — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 17:38:00 +0000

Harrison Ford attended the premiere of his blockbuster Medidas Extraordinarias in Spain yesterday, and his legendary subtle range was on display for photographers. See the master at work as he demonstrates the Many Faces of Harrison Ford:

The creepy who guy just sent you a drink at the bar

The Kaeto Kalin

More after the jump.

The “Pardon me while I break wind.”

The awkward Middle School cousin at the wedding

The Quentin Tarantino

The “Dear God, I hope nobody notices I’m actually in this awful movie.”

Check Out Christopher Nolan’s Dark, Gritty New Sex & The City Reboot

Tom Ganjamie — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 21:57:33 +0000

Mary-Kate Olsen, Kate Hudson, Kristen Stewart, Claire Danes, and Mia Wasikowska attended a Burberry event at London Fashion Week today, and boy does it look like more fun than a Saturday afternoon visit to the puppy dog and fireworks factory:

Actually, Mary-Kate seems to be enjoying herself just fine. Perhaps everyone else’s misery is just what feeds her life force.

[photo via Getty Images]

Prince William Takes A Turn For The Badass

Dan Hopper — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 20:23:47 +0000

Last time we checked in on Prince William, he was getting smoke in his eyes and making wacky faces, which was great, cause it was the same day we’d just figured out an easier way to make pointless .gifs (fate? Or SUPERfate?)

Today, Prince William pulled a 180 on the Badass Photo Spectrum (definitely a thing), trying his hand at blindfolded archery while attending an institution for the visually impaired:

Blindfolded archery AND a charitable spirit? The man is literally a boat that people dream about. Or a boat that’s full of people’s dreams. Whichever the proper expression is.