caption this, similebrities, and other general photo-based posts
AugustJust a couple of months after we posted pictures of Richard Simmons dressed like the Black Swan — if the Black Swan dressed like Charo – here comes new pictures of everyone’s favorite fitness nut, this time wearing a sort of nude-and-red tutu, accessorized with heart-shaped glasses.
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: it’s unclear as to what this guy actually does (remember Deal-A-Meal?), but whatever it is, keep it up. We’re always watching, Richard!
AugustYesterday, we asked a very simple question: Is Glee‘s Darren Criss perfect? Since he doesn’t fit the traditional mold of the all-American heartthrob, per se, the answer could have potentially been tricky.
Alas, no. We were immediately barraged with hundreds of comments, virtually all of which emphatically confirmed that, yes, he is. He’s the best. So, with that being said, let’s all stare at 20 pictures of Darren Criss being perfect:
August
A point of contention among my friends is whether Liza Minelli is still a gifted performer. I’ve never understood why my fellow gay men jump to their feet the moment she comes onstage or onscreen, but I also haven’t seen Cabaret. It’s probably true that she was, in fact, an incredible actress, singer, and dancer way back when, but the most I know of her is the circus that was her wedding to David Gest and also that, the first time I saw her live, she sat in a folding chair to sing “New York, New York.” She’d also claimed to have lost 125 pounds, which isn’t even possible? So that’s my limited exposure (and also her drunken use of the non-word “jitarded”).
Anyway, good for Liza for continuing to just do Liza. She looks amazing, I guess, considering how little she’s changed since the eighties (and that includes the oversized, black-sequined shirt dresses). In fact, Liza posed for hipster-y photographer extraordinaire Terry Richardson, who made her look like Kreayshawn, if Kreayshawn had taken a time machine to 2051, and then came back with the same face.
I guess Liza is now modeling for the Mature Vampire section of American Apparel, and, incidentally, she’s doing a bang-up job!
JulyDid you guys notice I was on vacation? Probably not, and that’s okay. I’m dealing with it (“Stand in your own light” — Oprah, 2011).
If you must know, I was in Austin “Hook ‘em horns” Texas, and it was the best. I saw the sights, ate the food, and learned that, unlike New York, nobody is a pu**y when it comes to air conditioning, impossibly trying to prove that they can “beat the heat.” Keep Austin ventilated weird!
As much fun as it was, there are only two other places I would have rather been: San Diego and Colombia, where I’d have visited with Will Ferrell and Anderson Cooper, respectively. Will Ferrell got to pet a 2,000-pound beluga whale named Nanuq at Sea World and Anderson posted a picture of himself on Twitter, shirtless and muddy at El Totumo Mud Volcano in Cartagena.
JulyKevin James‘s Oscar-winning new cinematic tour de force, Zookeeper, is coming out soon, and, without doing any research, we’re going to go out on a limb and say it’s a buffoonish comedy about talking animals? Right? That’s got to be it. What else would it be? The King Of Queens And Animals FTW.
Everything at the Zookeeper premiere at the Regency Village Theatre in Westwood, California was weird, as evidenced by these photos. But we did learn a few lessons in the process.
CHER IS NOW HELD TOGETHER BY SHARK TEETH AND DREAMCATCHERS (ALSO, HEY, KATHY GRIFFIN!)
ERNIE HUDSON CAN WEAR AN EARRING IF HE WANTS TO
JulyThings are very different from the days when Look Who’s Talking was an awesomely offbeat Amy Heckerling movie that was — and remains — super-duper weirdsies, but very, very entertaining. What a strange concept: an entire movie about talking babies! The franchise spurred no less than three sequels, and there was even a sitcom called Baby Talk that last two seasons and featured the voice of Tony Danza. The voice of Tony Danza, meaningwe never got to see him tap dance! ): ): ):
The original Look Who’s Talking movies, however, feature Kirstie Alley and John Travolta in the lead roles as two boisterous New Yorkers whose stars cross and they fall in love and raise baby geniuses together. Both actors have seen their careers struggle since then, although Travolta found a resurgence in Pulp Fiction and Kirstie Alley in screaming about how fat she is before Dancing With The Stars (and both openly worship space mnsters practice Scientology).
The duo reunited for a picture over the weekend, in which they “[tried to act like adults…Flunk,” according to Kirstie’s Twitter (apparently, Captain Johnny flew Kirstie home on his own jet because the boys love to see him in a pilot’s uniform) (by “the boys,” we mean his wife, Kelly Preston, to whom John Travolta is deeply attracted).
And while this is probably the closest we’ll see to the two reprise their roles as James and Mollie, we’ll take anything. SOMEONE FIND A TALKING BABY!
June
There’s an unfortunate narrative in American culture that rewards famous women for losing weight. It’s a very strange and extremely unhealthy fad, especially for young girls to witness tabloid editors cream their pants any time someone like Jennifer Hudson, Kelly Osbourne, or Marie Osmond drops pounds. Suddenly, these women are framed as smarter, prettier, and generally more valuable as human beings, evidenced most dramatically by the idea that, as soon as Nicole Richie went on The Tea And Air Diet morphed into a skeleton draped in flesh, all the footage of her farting into booze on The Simple Life, like, disappeared, and she became really nice or something???
With that said, we do think that Raven Symone has been looking great lately. Instead of being called “healthy” and “curvy” by Life & Style, she will now be described as “happier than ever.” Anyway, we think that, above all else, this is a prime opportunity to do a Before & After photo comparison of her the only way we know how: ON A SEGWAY.
BEFORE:
JuneWhile the Neti Pot Platinum Publicity Gifting Lounge sounds like a fake event that would be attended only by Meshach Taylor, Hunter Tylo, and one of the Real Housewives of Witchita in a 30 Rock script, it is real. It happened. Facebook said so.
And real people — people who have appeared in film and television for money — attended and posed for pictures! Some even posed with the Neti Pot, which — if you’re not already aware — is a sinus rinse meant to clean your nasal passageway.
Here are those living legends by name:
Malcolm In The Middle:
Ghostbusters:
JuneMeet my new favorite artist: Martine Roch. Ms. Roche lives in Dijon, France, where people just fling Grey Poupon at each other from limousine windows (presumably), and she creates simply precious paintings of animals as people in her series known as The Characters. The Characters range from her golden lab to monkeys and cats morphed together with old photographs. The result are images that make me wish for a time when llamas could serenade me by the Siene as I coquettishly twirl my parasol (#3 on my bucket list).
Since we are such fans of her work, we combed through her oeuvre to bring you what are easily the 25 Most Elegant Animals On The Internet (after this guy). E-mail this to you Mom and enjoy the rest of your day.
25.
24.
May
- “You might wanna look away for a sec while I grab my wallet.”
- Spider-Man Musical attempts to improve safety by having the actor sit outside the cab when it explodes.
- “Nah, I’m not the guy from Spider-Man 3 but I do get that a lot.”
- Noah adds: Spider-Man fails to fit entire cab in butthole
Think you can do better? (Hint: you can!) Caption away in the comments.
(pic via Splash News)
Michelle Collins
Managing Editor
Dan Hopper
Senior Editor
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