From 23/6 — It is time we evolve as a society and no longer ask “What Would Jesus Do.” This time we ponder, “What would a polygamist do?” Thankfully, there is this nifty magic 8 ball widget to answer this very question. Check it out, in all it’s glory, after the jump!
Parodies
MarchMonday
Obama Is Jesus’ Homeboy
From SUPER DELUXE — With all the “Vote For Obama” music videos out there, this one speaks loudest. The most truthful and eloquent of the bunch. Yes. Yes, indeed. Check it out, after the jump!
FebruaryWednesday
World Premiere! Horrible People…The Show
From COMEDY CENTRAL INSIDER — This new web series wouldn’t be nearly as funny, if real talk shows didn’t actually have absurd plot lines. Check out all the “mother” banter, as well as, the shining face of Kristen Schaal. Enjoy these Horrible People, after the jump!
FebruaryThursday
ICYMI: There Will Be Blog Parodies
As a huge fan of all things Daniel Plainview, I love pretty much everything about this parody video from FunnyOrDie, in which David Spade drinks our milkshakes by doing his best impression of Daniel Day Lewis’ legendary Oil Man in order to promote the Oscars. Funny stuff.
NovemberFriday
ICYMI: Friday Night Nights
Forget about all that Heroes/Lost/Grey’s Anatomy jazz, the only TV drama I’m REALLY going to miss during this whole strike bullshizz is Friday Night Lights, aka the best thing to happen to Friday night TV since Perfect Strangers, Full House, Mr. Belvedere, and Just the Ten of Us were making us “TGIF” back in ’89. The fact that a show about high school football could make me look forward to the weekend even more than drinking does – especially when you consider that I pretty much hate all sports, football in particular – should be all the motivation you need to immediately stop what you’re doing, track down the DVD’s and online videos for every episode you’ve missed so far, and lock yourself in a room until you’ve joined the team of people who realize this is the best-written, most compelling character drama we’re currently lucky enough to have on TV that – tragically – no one is watching. After you meet my boys Riggins and Saracen and Landry and Smash, your Friday nights will be blessed with the best TV they’ve known since the halcyon days of Balky, Bob Saget and Mr. Belvedere – but even better because Lila Garrity is way hotter than DJ Tanner (and legaler). For those of you who already watch the show and are bored by the “no duh!” obviousness of what I just said, here’s a parody video I found over at CC Insider that people who don’t watch the show probably won’t get, but you’ll think is hilarious:
NovemberThursday
TERMINATOR 4: Rise of the Bindis
Today, a picture came across our desktop so startling, so disturbing, that we couldn’t help but think it would make great fodder for the following movie…
You know Bindi Irwin would be all over this script like shrimps on the barbie!
OctoberWednesday
Lindsay Lohan’s New Year’s Tea Party!
Sure, Lindsay Lohan may have just gotten out of rehab with a new boyfriend and fresh glow, but just because she’s sober doesn’t mean she can’t still have a huge Las Vegas New Year’s Blowout! Us Magazine is reporting that while Lindsay Lohan is not excited to host the party at LAX Nightclub, she’s contractually obligated to. The good news is that Lindsay has figured out a way to have a kick ass New Year’s bash without all that pesky bloating alcohol.
We here at Best Week Ever were lucky enough to receive an invite (thx Lindz!), and wanted to pass along the information to you. It looks like this time, Lohan has truly changed her ways. See you on the 31st, America.
OctoberTuesday
BWE PRESENTS: Exclusive First Look At This Week’s Shocking New Issue Of People
By now we all know that JK Rowling shocked the wizarding world last weekend by outing beloved grandfatherly wizard Albus Dumbledore as being gay. BWE.tv has leared exclusively, through our shadowy network of wizard tabloid operatives, that Rowling made the announcement only to pre-empt the shocking expose in this week’s People Magazine based on magical gossipmongering blogger Rita Skeeter’s sordid allegations about the wizard’s sexuality. Here’s an exclusive preview of the magazine.
OctoberWednesday
WEBSITE OF THE DAY: Cat Fight
Maybe it’s because I’ve got Cat Show on the brain, or maybe it’s because we’ve always had a thing for terrified, pained expressions on animal faces… whatever the reason, this simple but extraordinary website of a people-pet photo session gone terribly wrong has completely made our afternoons. No captions, no flash animations, just good ol’ fashioned “Camera was in the right place at the right time.” Pay very special attention to the guy in the middle, and then create your own story lines explaining what, exactly, went wrong. The second to last picture — too much. And while you’re at it, note the wallpaper… This is like The Da Vinci Code for the illiterate, only better written.
So check it out, and give us your theories.
OctoberWednesday
Michelle’s Cat Show Review: LOL Heaven
This Sunday, I braved the 62 degree weather here in New York and headed down to Madison Sqaure Garden for the Annual Cat Fanciers’ Association Iams Cat Championship, otherwise known as “OMG CATS!!!” The only times I’ll set foot into MSG are when Bon Jovi is in town, or when the Cat Show is here* (*Note: This is not true at all), so you can imagine my delight when, upon entering the cat area, a 14-year-old with a pretty bad attitude dressed up like Mr. Mistoffelees from Cats shoved a bag in my hands with cat food samples. I might not have a cat of my own, but I did have a pretty long train ride home, so I figured I’d hold onto them just in case.
Now, if you’ve never been to a Cat Show (golf clap), you’re probably picturing something akin to the Westminster Kennel Club, the classy affair aired on USA every year, where ladies in polyester pantssuits and men in polyester pantssuits parade their breeds around a big grassy ring. Well, erase that image right out of your head. The Cat Show is more like Fancy Cat Jail, where the human competitors sit in aisles that smell faintly of cat urine and show of their wares.
But before my friend and I approached any of the prize-winning felines, we were greeted by a cheerful Iams representative who encouraged us to spin a big pink wheel and answer a cat question for a prize. Being a sucker for “ticking” noises, I took him up on his offer, and gave the Wheel of Lonely Ladies a twirl. I landed on trivia. Before I tell you the question I was asked, please buckle your seatbelts and set your time machine dials to 1993. The question read: “What was the name of the cat in the movie Homeward Bound?” Uh… what? Am I on like ReRe Genius Jeopardy or something?
Sensing my confusion, the rep gave me a clue “Her name rhymes with her style… Classy.” And there, in front of dozens of small children, I shouted out my guess: “ASSY?!?” This was not meant to be a joke, moreso an actual guess. The answer, it turns out, was Sassy. I still got a t-shirt, but it doesn’t look like I’ll be the Mayor of Sassytown anytime soon.
What follows is a photodiary of my day, along with live commentary. Here’s what I will tell you: Folks who show cats for a living seem like they give waaaay more money towards caring for their animals than caring for themselves. I had never seen more people with dirty, thin hair than I saw this day. That being said, they are also some of the nicest people to grace this dirty Rat Island of ours. Cat Bless America.
For those who don’t believe that the Cat Show is nothing more than Pretty Cat Jail, check out the way this Russian Blue passes time in his cage, when not getting his balls grabbed by a pervy handler:
“Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen”, translated loosely into Russian, reads as: Ðикто не знает неприÑтноÑÑ‚ÑŒ, которую Ñ Ð²Ð¸Ð´ÐµÐ», никто не знает жаль
After the jump! My photo diary from the CFA Cat Show, including some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met in my life… ever. Won’t you click ahead and join me on my journey?
