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...Of The Day

16 March
Monday

…OF THE DAY

By

POSH SPICE NECK.JPG

  • CASE OF THE MONDAYS?: Click here! NOT HERE.
  • THE OTHER TWINS: Jenna Jameson has given birth to twin boys, meaning that The World’s Most Famous Vagina can finally get back to doing what it does best: Temporarily housing random penises. (AVN.com)
  • PROJECT PHOEN-X: Gwyneth Paltrow has suggested pal Joaquin Phoenix immerse himself in the hip-hop lifestyle and move to the projects… “like a studio on the Upper West Side… or Long Island.” she was not reportedly quoted as saying. (People)
  • NECKFACE: Some people say that if you can count each one of Posh Spice‘s neckcicles, you will figure out her true age. Others say that her neck is what angels play when they send the bad people out of Heaven. (I believe your people call it the “Devil’s Harp.”) (Dlisted)
  • RUSSELLIN’ UP CONTROVERSY: Russell Brand accuses Miley Cyrus‘ ghostwriters of being actual sperm and ovum. (MTV Movies)
  • CHINSCRATCHER: Here are 20 Things You Didn’t Know About Time. You probably know some of them, but you might discover that Plank Time is the most adorable unit of the day ever. (Telegraph)
Posted on March 16th, 2009 | Permalink
Categories: ...Of The Day, Entertainment
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12 March
Thursday

…OF THE DAY

By

Mickey Rourke Arsenio

  • GOOD COMIC BOOK NEWS: Mickey Rourke has signed on to star as a villain in Iron Man 2. Hopefully his heart condition won’t prevent him from throwing a Ramjet at Tony Stark. (Film Drunk)
  • INDIFFERENT COMIC BOOK NEWS: The Avengers movie has been postponed for at least another year so that more upcoming actors have time to get famous and so they can be added to the ensemble cast. (EW.com)
  • IT TOOK TWO: Chris Brown and Rihanna recorded a duet together, which officially now counts as the second-creepiest duet ever recorded after “Baby It’s Cold Outside”. (MTV)
  • McCRACKPIPE: Interesting headline – “County, McDonald’s reach deal on halting illicit drug activity”. I was awfully suspicious of that new “$12,000 in Cash, Small Bills Preferred” Menu. (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
  • EXCLUSIVE: This article, “EXCLUSIVE: EXCLUSIVE: Fergie Becomes a Brunette!” must be pretty damn exclusive. (Us Weekly)
  • MICHELLE WANTED ME TO TELL YOU: The Blingee Wrapup will be posted tomorrow. (“Celebration” by Kool and the Gang)
Posted on March 12th, 2009 | Permalink
Categories: ...Of The Day, Entertainment
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11 March
Wednesday

…OF THE DAY

By

CBrown

  • RECOUNT: Nickelodeon finally responded to the online outrage and removed Chris Brown from the Kid’s Choice Awards nominees. I personally would’ve preferred if they had allowed him to accept an award then hit him in the face with some slime. (Gawker)
  • POINTLESS BATMAN 3 INTERNET RUMOR OF THE DAY: Sam Worthington may replace Christian Bale as Batman in the next film. I believe I’m not alone in believing that this would be f***ing amateur. (MTV Movies Blog)
  • PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTION: Is there anything more doubly tragic than Sesame Street laying off 20% of its workforce? Maybe if the laid off employees all went home and told their kids Snuffy wasn’t real. (Variety)
  • LICENSE TO WED: Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams got married in a secret ceremony over the weekend. Guess Adams was trying to avoid going through the whole tedious ‘Robin Williams preacher obstacle course,’ or whatever happened in that movie. (Rolling Stone)
  • GIANT A-HOLE DOG: Yay, the Marmaduke Explained blog is updating again! And sitting on the internet all day improves by exactly one minute! (Marmaduke Explained)
Posted on March 11th, 2009 | Permalink
Categories: ...Of The Day, Entertainment
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10 March
Tuesday

…OF THE DAY

By

Scarjo

  • HAPPY PURIM: Here’s a list of the 40 Hottest Jewish Celebrities. I’m slightly offended that Harvey Fierstein placed third – I’ll try to think of a counterexample and get back to you. (Scandalist)
  • ROLE MODEL: Nickelodeon will not withdraw Chris Brown’s Kids Choice Award nominations for Favorite Male Singer and Favorite Song. Personally, I think this completely cheapens everything that those giant neon slime-covered surf board trophies represent. (Us Weekly)
  • SERIOUSLY I’M A GANGSTA: Rapper Coolio was arrested in Los Angeles for crack possession, but the police quickly lost interest. (Holy Taco)
  • GYLL PILL: Here’s Jake Gyllenhaal shirtless on the set of the new Prince of Persia movie, laaaaaadiess! And also, mooooost duuuuuuuudes. (Kotaku)
  • PEOPLE WITH ANIMALS LIVE LONGER: Old people reviewing Animal Collective? What’s next, young people reviewing Lenny Kravitz? BOOM! (Stereogum)
  • WILLED INTO EXISTENCE: And today’s one page that sums up the entire existence of the internet – Thomas The Tank Engine Rap Remixes. (urlesque)
Posted on March 10th, 2009 | Permalink
Categories: ...Of The Day, Entertainment
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9 March
Monday

…OF THE DAY

By

Shakes

  • TO THINE OWN FACE BE OBVIOUS: A new portrait of William Shakespeare was revealed today after 399 years, proving that Shakespeare looked even more like we thought he did than we thought he did. (NY Times)
  • LESS SEXY TAXICAB CONFESSIONS: Tom Cruise makes Katie Holmes give him written confessions every week. Her confession usually consists of the line, “I deal with a husband who makes me write this crap every week because it makes me a lot more famous.” (Celebitchy)
  • K. F. C. (TO THE TUNE OF “COME TO ME”): The only thing more pointless that watching Diddy decide which chicken is better, KFC or Popeye’s is watching him ponder the question for three minutes and still not come up with an answer. (BuzzFeed)
  • UNCIVIL WAR: After 22 years, General Motors will no longer fund Ken Burns’ documentaries. Looks like he’ll have to find independent financing for his next PBS special, “A History of Backstabbing Car Company A-Holes.” (Variety)
  • MAN OUT OF TIME-BERLAKE: And finally, Justin Timberlake turned into Elvis Costello. Cool. (People)
Posted on March 9th, 2009 | Permalink
Categories: ...Of The Day, Entertainment
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6 March
Friday

BEST OF THE BWE: We Blew Our Idol Second Chance

By

Don’t forget, an all-new episode of Best Week Ever with Paul F. Tompkins airs tonight at 11 on VH1! We’ll help you sort through the ridiculous week in Reality Characters, from Tatiana del Toro to The Bachelor to Tatiana again to “O.J. Respectin’” Kanye West! Don’t miss it!

Meanwhile, in the webosphere:

Prince Charles In India

Posted on March 6th, 2009 | Permalink
Categories: ...Of The Day, Entertainment
Tagged: ,
5 March
Thursday

…OF THE DAY

By

Seinfeld-Banana-Phone.jpg

  • HOT BABY DADDY: Fox News has posted a photo of John Edwards’ love child celebrating his 1st birthday. By the looks of him, we’re not entirely sure the baby’s daddy isn’t the late Anna Nicole Smith. Twinsies. (Fox News)
  • ENGAGEMENT: Actor Vince Vaughn has announced that he is engaged to a Canadian real estate agent named Kyla Weber. When asked how she felt about the engagement, Vaughn’s ex Jennifer Aniston replied “I am so happy for th–(gunshot).” In a related story, did Jennifer Aniston just shoot herself? (Us Magazine)
  • OMG INDUCING READ: The police account of what happened the night pop singer Rihanna was attacked by boyfriend Chris Brown has been leaked to the press. We dare you to read the entire thing without covering your mouth, saying “Oh My God”, and then threatening to kill Chris Brown with your dirty bare hands. Do not take us up on this dare, as you will lose. (ONTD)
  • C N B SEEN: The Daily Show‘s Jon Stewart let fly a genius tirade bringing down the only television station we have never watched for more than 4 milliseconds, CNBC. That would probably go to explain why I am still, and will always remain to be, a billionaire. (Gawker)
  • THAT BABY IS BREATHTAKING: Remember how sh*tty the Seinfeld finale was? And how the cast swore that was their last episode? Yadda yadda yadda they’ll be on Curb next season. (internal yayayayayayayayay) (EW.com)
  • COMMON PENCE: Asked by a local paper to live off of very little money, a woman in England managed to throw a dinner party for only 18 pence, or about 30 cents. Here’s to hoping her guests like urine soup and old t-shirt canapes. (The Sun)
  • LEAVE ON A HIGH NOTE: This cat has clearly seen our favorite Looney Tunes cartoon ever, Feed The Kitty. (Buzzfeed)
Posted on March 5th, 2009 | Permalink
Categories: ...Of The Day, Entertainment
Tagged:
4 March
Wednesday

…OF THE DAY

By

MAN IN WHEEL CHAIR AND DOG.JPG

  • WHEEL OF FORTUNE: Will any of us ever be as happy as the man seen above, getting pulled in a wheelchair by his dog? Not likely. (Daily Mail)
  • AD TIMING: Cover Girl has unveiled a new ad featuring Rihanna telling people to “Light up your eyes”. Because if it can conceal the bruises, imagine what it could do for an embarrassing breakout! (Gawker)
  • SCARF VS. TIE: We’ve always had a “weird thing” for Chet on The Real World, so frankly, it doesn’t really matter what he wears. Apparently, there are people out there who care. (Youtube)
  • SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY: It pretty much goes without saying that if you own a pogo stick, you are a dumbass whose legs will eventually be crushed to a fine powder. (Gorillamask)
  • THE UGLIEST CAT IN THE WORLD: Poor little guy? (Infinite shudder.) (WBZTV)
Posted on March 4th, 2009 | Permalink
Categories: ...Of The Day, Entertainment
Tagged:
3 March
Tuesday

…OF THE DAY

By

CREEPY-TREE.jpg

  • CONGRATULATIONS, IT’S A DOG: Oprah Winfrey has adopted a adorable cocker spaniel puppy. Not expected to be given away on her next Favorite Things episode? Dog crap. (Us Magazine)
  • REALITY DRAMA: ABC’s The Bachelor proposed to a woman on camera, and then proceeded to dump her six weeks later on camera. You can find out more about it on my upcoming special called “Things That All The Female Contestants On The Bachelor of Any Reality Show Probably Deserve.” (People Magazine)
  • HEROIN BLEAK: If any of you run into the corpse of Kurt Cobain wearing thigh high leather boots and shopping with Michael Jackson, relax: It’s child actress Taylor Momsen and her Momsen. (ONTD)
  • SNOW LAUGHING MATTER: The NY Times sent some reporters out into NYC yesterday to capture people frolicking and making merriment in the snow banks. Everyone seemed to be having fun, even the snow shoveler who can’t remember how many kids he has. (NY Times)
  • THINGS I WISH I OWNED: Ken Guitar. (PlastiqueHouse)
  • THINGS I WISH I OWNED PART 2: Chihuahua Scuba Diver. (Buzzfeed)
  • THING I AM GLAD I HAVE NEVER SEEN IN REAL LIFE: Creepy tree. (Buzzfeed)
  • FINALLY: A bit last minute, but I’m appearing in a “round table discussion” of sorts tonight at the PIT Theater with The Daily Show‘s John Oliver. (Scott Bateman Animation Show)
Posted on March 3rd, 2009 | Permalink
Categories: ...Of The Day, Entertainment
Tagged:
2 March
Monday

…OF THE DAY

By

KATIE-HOLMES-SITTING.jpg

  • ROBOTS DON’T TALK, THEY BEEP: Glamour Magazine hit the new stands this month with an article titled “Exclusive! Katie Holmes Talks!” Because we needed a women’s magazine to remind us that her larynx wasn’t ripped out in some sort of circus-related tiger attack. (Glamour)
  • SHE DID IT HER WAY: Rachael Ray “doesn’t regret a thing” about a risque photo shoot taken in 2003, featuring Ray baking whilst dressed in nearly nothing. In a related story, scientists have finally discovered the reason for 2003′s Bulimia Epidemic. (ABC News)
  • ITSUH BOUT-UH TIME!: The hottest Italian reality TV chef in history, Top Chef’s Fabio Viviani, has already signed a deal to star in a new television show. And while the title hasn’t been released, something tells us it will involve some sort of combination of the words “mia mama” and “monkey ass.” (GossipSauce)
  • SHOCKER: Photos have been found of American Idol‘s Adam Lambert making out with other dudes. We give it about 3 weeks until he’s seen out on a date with Teri Hatcher. (Scandalist)
  • GAYBUT (RHYMES WITH DEBUT…): From the genius creator of the gayest internet cartoon ever created, Planet Unicorn, comes a video series that could very possibly already be airing right here at VH1: It’s “Nerd Gets Laid”, a game show where a nerd gets laid. Spoiler: The tranny will probably/hopefully win. (Youtube)
Posted on March 2nd, 2009 | Permalink
Categories: ...Of The Day, Entertainment
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