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22 November
Tuesday

Nickelback Responds To Anti-Nickelback Petition With Hilarity, F-Words

Several weeks ago, Detroit Lions fans started a petition to prevent the band Nickelback from performing the Halftime Show at the nationally-televised Lions/Packers game this Thanksgiving. With the petition gaining some steam over the past half-month, Nickelback has finally decided to strike back in true goat-effing fashion.

Below, the band sits down with their publicist (who may or may not be Paul Scheer in a wig) to discuss ways to win over the Detroit crowd. Their eventual solution is hilarious, but they reeeeeally should consider actually doing it (language NSFW):

22 November
Tuesday

Let’s All Just Marry This St. Vincent Live Performance

Do all of our posts have to be funny? Do ANY of your posts have to be funny? Ouch – good one, Italics voice.

Anyway, here’s St. Vincent performing live at Webster Hall in New York as part of MTV Hive’s “Live In NYC” Concert Series. The embed below is her performance of “Surgeon”, but if you leave it playing, it includes six of the songs she performed, taking a brief break between songs 2 and 3 for me to marry this performance. That’s right, me and this St. Vincent live performance are now literally married. THAT’S the slippery slope that gay marriage put us on – you can now marry performances.

Watch and we’ll swoon together:

(via MTV Hive)

16 November
Wednesday

Lady Gaga Shows Off Her Latest Hot Pink Sperm Hat

Here’s Lady Gaga leaving her hotel in London, wearing the opening credits to the movie Drive:

Between Gaga and Sarah Jessica Parker’s hat last week, fashionable hats seem to be resembling sperm more and more by the week, no? Anyone keeping an eye on this trend? Some sort of, say, “Fashion Police”? Or their Federal Superiors, the “Fashion Special Agents”?

Either way, Gaga actually kind of pulls it off, inasmuch as a giant pink sperm hat can be pulled off. Here’s a bunch more pics of her outfit after the jump – check them out before an Albert Brooks character violently murders them:

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16 November
Wednesday

Meat Justin Bieber Will Feed U All Night, Gurl

It’s already been a landmark week for pop culture reflected in food, between Ryan Gosling Pancake and the Game Of Thrones Dessert, but as internet pop-culture food hierarchies go, they must both bow down to their superior: Justin Bieber’s face in meat form -

Meat Bieber is already trending on TwitMeat, plus my eleven-year-old daughter who just came into existence is already begging for a bite of this “Meaty Meaty Miney Moe Lover” goodness, and I just don’t know how to handle that.

What ever happened to the Meat Jonas Brothers?

(Blame It On The Voices, via Dlisted)

14 November
Monday

Michael J. Fox Recreates The “Johnny B. Goode” Scene From Back To The Future

Here’s Michael J. Fox performing at the “A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Cure Parkinson’s” benefit in New York this weekend, recreating his famous “Johnny B. Goode” scene from Back To The Future:

2011 has already given us real-life Air Mags and real-life Electric Doloreans, and now Michael J. Fox is literally onstage embodying Marty McFly himself? We’re coming closer and closer to the real world just turning into the Back To The Future movies, which I have to admit, has been my plan all along. I just hope that when he played Chuck Berry this time, the audience was ready for it.

After the jump, another photo from the event of MJF performing with Joan Jett (not Back To The Future related but hey, we’ll take it):

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11 November
Friday

R. Kelly Tells Haters To Shut Up In New Song Literally Called “Shut Up”

Coming off the heels of his amazingly-titled autobiography announcement (which has since been delayed til Spring), R. Kelly has released a new song called “Shut Up” in which he:

1) Thanks the doctors from his throat surgery for watching over him.

2) Thanks God.

3) Tells the people with all the negative sh*t that they’re the people he ain’t f***in’ with. (Presumably also said to God too?)

4) Tells everyone to “Shut Up” so many times.

Enjoy the song below, and prepare to be told to shut up:

As expected, the reaction on Twitter has been divisive and articulate:

(via Vulture)

9 November
Wednesday

R. Kelly’s Autobiography Title Is Even Better Than You Expected

Say what you want about R. Kelly as a person or musician or lover, but the man knows how to title an autobiography:

SOULA COASTER: The Diary Of Me. Perfect! Literally couldn’t be more perfect. Combines an awesomely painful pun (worthy of this prestigious list) with a simultaneously redundant and spotlight-grabbing non-phrase. Meaning, it is R. Kelly.

We’ll discuss the amazing cover photo some other time, we still need another week or so to digest the words. But then the book comes out next week, and we’ll have a whole lot more words to digest. Why couldn’t ALL his words be abbreviated after one letter???

8 November
Tuesday

Never Forget: Heavy D Composed The “In Living Color” Theme

Influential 90s Rapper Heavy D — cornerstone member of Heavy D and the Boyz and later a dabbler in acting — has passed away at the age of 44. He died in an L.A.-area hospital this afternoon, though the cause of death has not yet been determined.

While Heavy D did post a prolific and decorated hip-hop career during one of the genre’s peak periods, us white kids who were in grade school in the early 90s almost certainly know one Heavy D work above all others: He wrote and performed the theme song to Fox’s “In Living Color”:

Ahhhhh — if that doesn’t bring you a nostalgic chill, then we weren’t born within 10 years of one another. Either way, check out Heavy D’s revamped ILC Season 3 theme song too, after the jump:

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3 November
Thursday

Detroit Lions Fans Petition To Stop Nickelback From Playing Halftime Show

The Detroit Lions will host the Green Bay Packers on Thanksgiving Day this year in perhaps the most significant Thanksgiving-Day game played in Detroit in over a decade. But some Lions fans aren’t quite as enthused about the prospects of the entire country tuning into the Detroit Halftime Show to witness a musical performance by Nickelback.

A group of concerned Lions fans has since started a petition stating their case against having Nickelback play their Halftime Show – here’s an excerpt:

“This game is nationally televised, do we really want the rest of the US to associate Detroit with Nickelback? Detroit is home to so many great musicians and they chose Nickelback?!?!?! Does anyone even like Nickelback? Is this some sort of ploy to get people to leave their seats during halftime to spend money on alcoholic beverages and concessions? This is completely unfair to those of us who purchased tickets to the game. At least the people watching at home can mute their TVs…”

Passionate! I will add for the record, Nickelback was recently in our building and people kept raving about how incredibly nice and funny they were, which I don’t doubt (and I’m sure all of my favorite bands would punch me in the face with a heroin needle if I said ‘hi’ to them), so I’m not here to pile on. Just to relay the information.

I’m just glad the petition stated its case so eloquently. I might’ve gone with a couple more ?!?!?!?!?!?!?s, but that’s just the grammar nerd in me nitpicking.

(P.S. – Here’s the petition.)

3 November
Thursday

Van Halen / John Lennon “Imagine” Mashup Confirms Existence Of Heaven

The internet is full of mash-ups. WHOA, sorry, let me back up even further. We take you to Jamestown, in the year 1607…

Nah, my main point here is just, there’s a lot of mash-ups on the internet, so a lot of them blur together (like mash-ups!), but this one — a combination of Van Halen’s “Jump” nestled inside John Lennon’s “Imagine” — is so frickin’ well-done, it basically fixes its own concerns about the world’s well-being.

Behold, “Imagine A Jump”:

Imagine-a-jump-john-lennon-vs.-van-halen by jackstanleywp

(Thanks Matt B!)