April
And you thought it was just 30 Rock. Popeater brings us the above side-by-side photos of Julianne Moore as Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. And it might be too soon to say, but I can almost personally guarantee you that it’s going to be a nightmare. Here are 5 other actresses that would make for a more convincing/less annoying Hillary Clinton:
5. Kristen Stewart
4. Angela Bassett
3. Dakota Fanning (half-serious)
2. Pearl from 227
1. Katherine Heigl
AprilMy thoughts towards the Charlie Sheen live show began with total ambivalence, then morphed into vague, undirected rage, but now, looking upon this photo of Sheen coming out in full Major League Rick Vaughn garb in his show last night, I can’t help but think anything other than “Wow – this is depressing as sh*t”:
The Internet has already said everything that needs to be said about the Sheen fiasco, but only now, seeing the domestic-abusing drug addict appear before a crowd at his struggling live show dressed in a costume from a 22-year-old movie, do I realize that — whew! — it’s finally over.
AprilLittle is as satisfying to a dog as sticking their head out of a car window and eating the breeze. And little is as satisfying to a dog lover as witnessing a dog’s face when it meets highway speed winds. So, inspired by the success of 50 Photos Of Basset Hounds Running, we now present a companion piece: 50 Dogs at 50 MPH. #23 is pure bliss. And #2 will never leave me.
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April
Fun Celebrity Game Time! Mariah Carey has a new Life & Style cover story called “All About The Babies” (not “All About The Babe-jamins?” Strike one right there.)
Let’s see if we can make it through her entire interview explaining why she’s doing a naked pregnant magazine cover photoshoot without throwing up. Begin celebrity mom backpedaling…NOW:
“I was feeling very vulnerable about taking pictures at all right now, but then I didn’t want to miss this opportunity to document this once-in-a-lifetime experience. My ultimate goal was to share this incredibly personal moment with my true fans.”
True Fans = Anyone in supermarket checkout lines? I guess I can understand her desire to “document the experience,” and having a magazine take naked photos of you is literally the only way.
My mom still has the old copies of her pregnant on the cover of the famous 60s magazine “Doctors Recommend Smoking Illustrated,” even though the publication had largely fallen out of favor when I was born in the 80s. Hence, why they approached her about the photospread. I digress.
No puking yet! Keep going, Mariah:
“The babies were kicking almost the entire time; it was unbelievable. Especially the girl — clearly she’s a diva in training!”
Or she’s kicking, like all babies. Or she’s already a little fetal diva! Who am I to say? Still not puking yet, and we’re halfway home…
AprilNo matter how many men make their mark on the comedy world, every couple weeks, another controversial magazine piece will trod out the same old tired questions about the gender inequity in comedy:
Are men funny? Why aren’t there more men doing comedy?
To help put an end to this exhausted debate, we at VH1 asked several prominent comedians — Will Ferrell, Louis C.K., Kristen Schaal, Rob Corddry and others (including some men!) — to tell us once and for all, “Are men funny?” Here are their wide-ranging perspectives:
(via The Fab Life)
AprilEver pause an episode of Sex and the City halfway through, throw up all the ice cream you just ate, and think to yourself: “Man, you know what would make this episode exponentially better? A big steamin’ pile of Mr. Big’s Balls.” Followed by looking at your reflection in the bedside mirror, brushing your hair 900 times, and softly weeping yourself to sleep? We (I) know we (I) have! Well, start scratching those lotto tickets, world, because today is all about luck and balls.
Chris Noth, nee Mr. Big, made an appearance at the 9th annual Dressed to Kilt charity fashion show. He joined the catwalk with a gaggle of other male celebrities in kilts, including Kiefer Sutherland and Jim Gaffigan.
And then this happened:
Let’s see: That’s Jason Patrick (far left), Jim Gaffigan (exhibiting restraint), Brian Cox (make it stop), Chris Noth (possibly half-horse), and Kiefer Sutherland (denying us a taste).
What’s that?? Where are Mr. Big’s Balls, you say? Come on, you didn’t think we were going to let you see Mr. Big’s Balls that easily, did you?
Ahead, we give you some celebrity testicles as well as a whole ass. This never really happens around here, so get in on it.
AprilGet ready to challenge yourself with the most mind-boggling, reality-warping game to ever sweep the internet by storm. It’s called “Robert Pattinson, Hugh Grant, Lesbian or Jewish Mom?” and it’s simple: Looking at the below hairstyles, you must identify whether it’s Robert Pattinson, Hugh Grant, a lesbian or a Jewish mom, Sound easy? Well sorry, Jen Kennings, but prepare to get schooled at the University of Ambiguous Short and Teased Hairstyles.
Take a good look at each of the below hairstyles, and when you’re absolutely sure you know if it’s RPattz, Hugh Grant, Lesbian or Jewish Mom, click on the photo for your answer. Then tell us how many you got right or wrong in the comments! If anyone gets all 20 correct, I will personally come to your house and tease those luscious locks of yours.*
*Not an actual contest or true. Good luck!
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AprilAccording to TMZ, this is not Christopher Walken but, instead, a 68 year old man named Tony A. Kadyhrob. And instead of being in movies, he tried to kidnap a 19 year old girl at Rider University. And instead of having no mustache at all, he has a very silly one.
I’ve got obvious joke fever, and the only cure is more neck skin.*
Maybe if Mr. Kadyhrob tried to class it up a little, he wouldn’t have to try to abduct people against their will. This guy knows what I’m talking about:
*So sorry
AprilPicture it: Miami, Florida, 1996. The city I was born and raised in. I was 15 years old, around 5’10″, loving dark lipsticks, and even more Asian looking than anyone could have imagined or hoped for. It was this year that, due to circumstances beyond my control (namely, an older brother deeply entrenched in Republican politics, not named Alex P. Keaton) that my family found ourselves at Versailles, one of the oldest and most famous Cuban restaurants on Calle Ocho in Miami’s Little Havana.
It was there that this happened:
Yes, that is Bob Dole, doing his best impression of a Louis Vuitton garment bag, flanked by my Mother Judy Collins, and indeed, myself, far right, 15, and crazy looking. You will notice my Mother has revealed perhaps more decolletage than necessary, as per usual. And those of you wondering what is around the very handsome Mr. Dole’s neck: He is donning a beaded Cuban flag necklace, handed to him by a local youngster outside. Does this make him a Crip or a Blood?
(Ed. note: If I ever “make it,” I fear this will be the photo people use as a before nose job pic, even though I have never had or have been able to afford one.)
Michelle Collins
Managing Editor
Dan Hopper
Senior Editor
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