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16 April
Monday

COFFEE HOUSE FAIL Is Just The Worst Coffee Commercial Ever Made

I preface the following rant by admitting that I have no idea why I react with such visceral hatred for random, inconsequential commercials, but that being said, this ad for International Delight Iced Coffee may be the laziest thing I have ever seen, and believe me, I’ve seen a LOT of lazy things (most of them being cats and therefore great).

WHEN HAS THIS NEVER HAPPENED TO ANYONE EVER? WHY DO THE AUTOMATIC DOORS MALFUNCTION? WHAT COFFEEHOUSE IN THE WORLD HAS AUTOMATIC DOORS? HOW IS THIS MORE LIKELY TO OCCUR AT A COFFEEHOUSE THAN A GROCERY STORE? WHO IS HAVING PROBLEMS ACQUIRING / TRANSPORTING F***ING COFFEE??? OF COURSE ‘FAIL’ HAS MADE ITS WAY INTO VIRAL COFFEE COMMERCIAL LEXICON I’M GONNA STOP TYPING CAPS HERE WATCH THIS:

Remember to Tweet your coffeeiest coff-fails to #InternationalCOFFAILSthemovie to unlock the “Like us on Facebook” Bean-Badge on Getglue for your Droid and/or coffphone!

Take us out, “You’re Doin It Wrong!” GIF:

11 April
Wednesday

TNT’s Belgian Viral Marketing Stunt Is More Exciting Than Any Shows On TNT

Here’s an incredibly elaborate stunt sequence promoting TNT’s “We Know Drama” campaign in Belgium (alt slogan “We Know Drama And Also Are Acquaintances With Van Damme”).

Basically, on a quiet square of a Belgian town, TNT placed a red “PUSH TO ADD DRAMA” button, and when one daring spectator steps forward to press it, all hell breaks loose: Cars fly by, guns are fired, Kyra Sedgwick closes things, you name it – classic TNT drama.

This may be the virallest viral-marketing stunt that ever viralled, but it’s still very virool (new term for viral-cool that’s going viral):

(via The Daily What)

9 April
Monday

It’s Not Delivery, It’s New Almost Pizza!

Here’s an ad from this week’s SNL for “Almost Pizza,” the make-at-home pizza that you’ll swear is just like pizza except it’s not pizza in a few key ways!

The commercial is only slightly more ridiculous than, say, an incognito delivery driver showing up at a rapper’s ballin’ mansion with pizza that’s so convincing-tasting that they assume he’s a real delivery guy and invite him in (I delivered pizzas for 5 years and this only happened 3 times per week tops), but it’s really funny and ends up in a wonderfully insane place:

5 April
Thursday

Google Glasses Parody Ad Probably More Accurate Than The Original

Google just released a new teaser video demonstrating its currently in-development Google Glasses, and if you haven’t seen it yet, it’s pretty amazing. It’s a first-person view of how the glasses work and interact with what you’re seeing in real-time, and it’s basically a Google-ified version of the Prodigy “Smack My Bitch Up” video

Of course, the internet has already gone ahead and parodied the ad, and it’s really funny and probably disappointingly accurate. Whose video do we believe more? THE GLASSES I’M WEARING NOW CAN’T HELP ME DECIIIIIDEEEEE:

(via Reddit)

3 April
Tuesday

Kids Toy Commercials Are SO Much More Awesome With The Genders Reversed

If you haven’t seen this and allowed it to consume your afternoon yet, check out the Gendered Advertising Remixer, a tool that allows you to mash-up the audio from toy commercials targeted at boys with the video of toy commercials aimed at girls and vice versa, and it is endlessly entertaining.

It’s part of a project designed to illustrate the disparities between the “Comb Your Pony Friend’s Hair With A Muffin!” messages in girl-centric ads and the contrasting “Kill Your Pirate Enemy’s Face With An Explosion” mandates in boy-ads. There are forty ads to choose from and play around with, and pretty much every combination is shamefully laugh-out-loud funny.

Here’s an example one I made, working title “My Little Clonewars”. See if you can guess if it’s the ‘Girl’ audio or video!

Below, a Girls’ Toy Commercial with COOL BOY AUDIO (WARRR!):

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3 April
Tuesday

Mary J. Blige Burger King Ad Is The Rolling Stones Heinz Ad Of Our Generation

Here’s a new Burger King commercial featuring Mary J. Blige singing a dancey R&B tune about a crispy chicken snack wrap. All of that makes sense, right? Cool, because it’s officially a thing.

People online appear to be reacting as if this is the worst thing ever filmed, but in a commercial-world that includes Michael Imperioli popping up in a tequila ad to ask “Whatever happened to clothes?”, I feel odd casting any ad-stones in our glass ad-houses (if we were the ads in this analogy):

Your thoughts on the campaign, Mr. Sterling?

29 March
Thursday

Japanese Robot Cat The Purrrfect Alternative To Boring Regular Robot Cats!

Sick of all those low-budget robot cats who suck at cuddling and make scary uncatlike noises all the time? (Robot Cat Owners: “YESSSSSSSSSS! Go on!”)

Brace yourself for the new ROBOTO NEKO AMIGO! The most realistic robot cat ever invented, presented in this highly convincing Japanese / Spanish / Greatness commercial. It really purrs, cuddles, meows, eats batteries, glows in the dark, and blasts relaxing waterfall noises, just like a real cat that somehow does those things!!!

Behold, the robot cat so real, you’ll swear it was a cat! Only WAY THE HELL BETTER:

(Thanks, Trish!)

15 March
Thursday

The 5 Most Awesomely Insufferable Encyclopedia Britannica Ads

Encyclopedia Britannica has announced they will no longer be printing physical editions, putting an end to 244 years of monolithic book collections, for reasons… actually, I’m not entirely sure why they’re stopping. Gonna have to Wikipedia that.

Like most grown-up children in my age vicinity, when I hear ‘Encyclopedia Britannica’, I instantly think of their relentless advertising barrage on Nickelodeon throughout the early 90s, when minute-long commercials of a whiny-voiced spokeskid and a stubborn disembodied off-camera voice shattered fourth-walls constantly during Double Dare commercial breaks, delaying our G.I. Joe ads and Barney’s schemes to acquire Fred’s cereal-shaped sugar drug. At least the ads for stupid girl toys had the decency to be thirty seconds long and not directly address us.

Here, in honor of Britannica’s departure from this physical realm, are 5 Of The Most Awesomely Insufferable Britannica Ads. Still grating after all these years!

5. “Don’t Zap Me Yet”

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14 March
Wednesday

Get Your Picture Taken With THE REAL LEONARDO DICAPRIO Impersonator

Update to yesterday’s Titanic Vacation Groupon story: The ‘Titanic’ Groupon, which offers a 13-day trip and an excursion to the actual Titanic wreckage, is unfortunately sold out.

BUT! You can still get the next best thing – the package also includes a signed Titanic DVD from “Leonardo DiCaprio,” and even though the package itself isn’t still being offered, you can still get your photo taken with Leonardo DiCaprio*:

Let me finish… *Impersonator Frank Roberts!!!!!!!!! WOW! He looks just like the real Leo DiCaprio, and can perfectly imitate all his famous mannerisms, which are no mannerisms!

Kudos to Film Drunk for finding my new favorite billboard. Even though the Lincoln Women’s Expo is over (as we all know), Mr. Roberts is available for work – bar mitzvahs, Inception-themed workplace team building off-sites, cameo appearance in Gilbert Grape 2: The Grapes Of Laughs!, you name it.

14 March
Wednesday

Prostate Cancer Baseball Commercial Is the Saddest Non-ASPCA Ad You’ll Ever See

Here’s a PSA for prostate cancer awareness that features a bunch of kids playing ‘catch’, set to a soundtrack of a laid-back, acoustic version of “Take Me Out To The Ballgame.” Sounds nice! Except, when it ends, you will realize that it is THE SADDEST COMMERCIAL EVER MADE.

It’s not quite as insta-sad as the Sarah Mclachlan ASPCA ads, since you’re not diving across the room for the remote the millisecond you hear that first tragic note overtop the black-and-white “Why me?” dog, but when this ad ends, you’ll realize it’s just as crushing:

Wow. It’s definitely a valuable message, but still, dayumnnn.

Fortunately, the commercial has one glimmer of hope… THIS GUY:

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