So what makes something “So 90s”? I was in the middle of writing a lengthy list of quintessential 90s characteristics, but as we all know, a video with Michael Richards flying around in animated starland is worth a trillion 90s-words, so instead I’ll just post this video — unearthed by an eagle-eyed Videogum commenter, this may in fact be the 90s-est thing I have ever seen:

This may in fact surpass the current co-champions of 90s-ness, the Airborne poster and the opening credits for the movie Delirious:

Sorry, dudes. Opposite of tubular.

Wait. Wait. Just hold on one GD second. Who are these people Ross and Ross? Because they have to stop ENTERING MY BRAIN and stealing my mind thoughts. This is the exact same debate I’ve had with people (myself) for just so long. And they’ve put it on paper like a couple of GENIUSES. It’s about which is the better movie: Wayne’s World or Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. My personal debate is slightly different, it’s more like which character I would actually want to be. Probably Bill. Because he’s not threatened with military school. Then again, he’s not Keanu Reeves. I’ll never settle on a real answer. I do know that I love both of these movies equally. I just really appreciate two dudes taking the time to hash it out. Just rap about it. Because what are we going to talk about? Politics? Oil? No thank you!

Don’t click on the link below if you don’t care about Wayne’s World or Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. But if you’re the sort of person who wonders where Alex Winter went, read on. (This doesn’t answer the question of where Alex Winter is, it’s just if you’re that sort of person). Also, sorry for the creepy picture above. But real or no, it’s pretty amazing.  

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure v Wayne’s World: Metro Film Fight Club

P.S. I’d really enjoy a frank, honest debate of Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey Vs. Wayne’s World 2

P.P.S. San Dimas High School Football Rules!

Success. I am the proud owner of my very own Vigo The Carpathian painting. However, I’m sorry to say, it appears that the link has been taken down. I can only pray that you guys took my advice and printed it out before it was too late.

Not moments after I found the link yesterday, upon Michelle’s urging, I went to the 26th floor of the Best Week Ever Spaceship to print Vigo. I opted to print it on canvas to make my Vigo experience more authentic. I used 90 percent of my monthly printing budget. My monthly printing budget is $100. I’ll wait while you use your calculator.

When the nice printing lady saw what I wanted to print she said, “Oh, this famous painting. I’ve printed this out at least ten times in the past month for some guy.” What?? Also, what??? I pressed her for more information, like, who is this person/my soulmate,  but she wasn’t very forthcoming. Apparently there’s a printer-printee relationship similar to a doctor-patient one. Then she gave me a check up.

THEN an hour later when I went to pick Vigo up (it takes a while to print a 24×36 inch  hi-res image onto canvas) two dudes were there, saw my painting and said, “That’s exactly what we were going to print just now!” What in the world?! Has Vigo possessed us all, completing his intended task? Are we just all on the same Ghostbusters 2 page? Is this what Jung meant by the collective unconscious? Did I just unnecessarily drop a pretentious reference? Can I do whatever I please because I’m the one with the Vigo painting? Either way, Michelle is going to frame it and hang it in her apartment. But for now, we’re enjoying it here.

Here is the French version of what you can expect from your Vigo. Why French? Because I said so, Mandy Moore.

Via Buzzfeed

If you didn’t happen to catch yesterday’s Kevin Smith Twitter-aided comment jamboree, I’ll sum it up for you:

Comment #1: I can’t believe Clueless lost. This blows, I’m done with this stupid tournament.

Comment #2: Clerks is a landmark film that inspired so many aspiring filmmakers, it’s way better than stupid Clueless.

Comment #3: CALM DOWN, you motherf***ers, it’s an INTERNET POLL.

(REPEAT x1000)

First off, Clerks being a more inspirational film or even a ‘better’ film than Clueless doesn’t really factor into the voting, the question was solely “which movie is more 90s?” I also love how many Clerks people pretended to be objective about their votes and the tournament results, as if the 200,000 people who follow Kevin Smith’s Twitter were actually gonna come to the poll and think long and hard about which movie was more 90s, then all ultimately decided it was indeed the film whose director they idolize.

That being said, Clerks is still the winner, and I’m actually kind of glad that this controversy arose because 1) It’s more exciting than Clueless just anticlimactically winning the tournament, which it surely would have (and deservedly so), and 2) Once Airborne and White Men Can’t Jump were eliminated, you f***ers were on your own. Oops, that just slipped out, my bad.

Thanks to everyone for participating, voting, arguing, leaving five-paragraph comments that everyone skips over, and ultimately making us think long and hard about what it means to be 90s (which, ironically, does not involve thinking long or hard about anything).

The final brackets are after the jump – feel free to keep the arguments going in the comments:

A weekend push from Kevin Smith’s Twitter sparked a remarkable comeback from Clerks, which ended up crushing tournament favorite Clueless by a 75-25% margin. To all those in the comments calling voting shenanigans, we never made a rule against (and in fact, encourage) directors rallying online supporters, and if Alicia Silverstone and Jill Sobule couldn’t retaliate with tweeting of their own, that’s their problem. Meanwhile, Wayne’s World continued its dominance with a 77-23% win over surprise Final Four entrant Scream and now enters the Finals having won every one of its matchups by more than 75% margins.

This is it, Internet. Clerks vs. Wayne’s World — remember, the question isn’t “Which movie is better,” it’s “Which movie is more 90s?” (Or “Whose Twitter linked you to this page?”)

Vote Away, after the jump:

Is a Clueless / Wayne’s World Finale inevitable? Or will the Clerks fans (or Scream fans – ??) rally for their 90s cause? Vote away after the jump — the Finals will take place on Monday to coincide with that other lesser tournament also going on:

Vote away, and feel free to spend your weekend indoors angrily arguing catchphrases and fashion trends in the comments:

(Poll embeds via XversusY.com)

Vote now after the jump — Final Four tomorrow!

Updated Brackets C and D and the polls are after the jump — remember, the question isn’t “Which movie is better,” it’s “Which movie is more 90s?”

You have until noon on Friday — resume your arguments in the comments.

(Poll embeds via XversusY.com)

However, I received a particularly passionate defense of Round 1 casualty 3 Ninjas from my friend Steve, who sent me the following GChat message this afternoon:

Steve: i can’t believe 3 ninjas went down in the first round
what the f*ck is wrong with people

me: encino man lost too! crazy

Steve: NO
the clear winner was 3 ninjas
i’ve been counting down the days until it won
it was 3 ninjas and 63 losers

For all those who doubt, Steve directs our attention to this clip from the very end of 3 Ninjas entitled “3 Ninjas – Give us our bikes back!” The action turns overwhelmingly 90s starting around the 0:27 mark when the background beat kicks up — if you voted for Titanic in Round 1, good luck watching this clip and not kicking yourself:

Best part? At 0:50, the “SIGH…We must restrain ourselves, for we are ninjas” hand gesture.

Remember, the question isn’t “Which movie is better,” it’s “WHICH MOVIE IS MORE 90S?”

Brackets C, D, and the polls are after the jump:

Sweet Sixteen Voting:

You have until tomorrow afternoon to argue it away in the comments!

(Poll embeds via xversusy.com)

And if you haven’t voted on Round 2 of Brackets A & B yet, go make your voice heard — it’s your duty as an American with a lot of time to kill and internet access.

Remember, the question isn’t “Which movie is better,” it’s “Which movie is more 90s?” – voting will be open until Wednesday morning, so you only have until tomorrow night to argue away in the comments:

If you haven’t voted for Round 2 of Bracket A & B yet, you have until Wednesday morning!

(poll embeds via xversusy.com)

Blowouts

Tournament favorite Clueless is already looking somewhat unstoppable after a 97% victory over Showgirls, by far the largest margin of any Round 1 contest. Wayne’s World made a statement with their 91% victory over My Cousin Vinny, the only other contest decided by more than a 90% margin — American Pie, Encino Man, She’s All That, Clerks, and Empire Records each won their contests with more than 80% of the voting margin.

Close Calls

Some of the contests came down to the wire; Friday rallied on the last day of Round 1 voting to edge Point Break, 51-49%, and Dangerous Minds held off Free Willy, in its own 51-49% contest. Austin Powers (52%) and Singles (53%) and Cruel Intentions (54%) barely escaped first-round upsets. #2 seed (and really frickin’ 90s movie) Airborne looked vulnerable in a 59% win over Dunston Checks In, and a bevvy of The Craft fans gave #1 seed Billy Madison a scare in an eventual 60-40% win.

After the jump, looking ahead at Round 2 and beyond:

Still, the question remains — is Clueless simply unbeatable? #1 seed Encino Man is already trailing in its Round 2 matchup with She’s All That (perhaps people are confusing Encino Man with, I don’t know, a Bergman film?), and the struggles of #2 seeds Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead and Airborne have dimmed the prospects of a worthy Clueless challenger emerging from the field. Reality Bites, perhaps? Are Clerks, Empire Records, and White Men Can’t Jump Final Four material? How about an upstart like Home Alone or Wayne’s World? Or will Billy Madison and Encino Man overcome their early hiccups and return to dominate?

Feel free to leave your tournament predictions in the comments, and remember to vote on Round 2 Brackets A & B and Round 2 Brackets C & D before Wednesday morning!

The Updated Brackets:

Remember, the question isn’t “Which movie is better,” it’s “Which movie is more 90s?” – voting will be open until Tuesday morning, so you have several days to argue away in the comments:

Don’t forget to vote for Round 2 of Brackets C & D!

(poll embeds via xversusy.com)

Remember, the question is “WHICH MOVIE IS MORE 90s?” not just “which movie is better” – Vote away after the jump and leave your arguments in the comments:

Check out the rest of the brackets here.

Round 2 of Brackets A and B start tomorrow!

(poll embeds via xversusy.com)

Remember, the question is “WHICH MOVIE IS MORE 90s?” not just “which movie is better” – Vote away after the jump and leave your arguments in the comments!

(Ed Note: The past two comments sections for this tournament contained some of the most passionate, articulate arguments in the history of online commenting – you should all form a debate team and stick it to those Harvard kids from that Denzel Washington movie)

Come back tomorrow for Bracket D!

(poll embeds via xversusy.com)

Remember, the question is “WHICH MOVIE IS MORE 90s?” not just “which movie is better” – Vote away after the jump and leave your arguments in the comments:

Remember, the question is “WHICH MOVIE IS MORE 90s?” not just “which movie is better” – Vote away after the jump and leave your arguments in the comments:

Come back tomorrow for Bracket B!

(poll embeds via xversusy.com)

Which is the 90s-est movie of all time?

The winner will be selected via a single-elimination bracket format in which the winners are determined by YOUR VOTES. Remember, the question isn’t “What is the best movie from the 90s?”, it’s “Which movie best represents 90s-ness.”

The films have been selected and seeded based on the following highly scientific criteria:

1) Representation of 90s cultural themes, people, styles, music, and language.

2) Features actors/actresses synonymous with the 90s.

3) Overall popularity in the 90s / cultural impact.

Voting on the first bracket will open at 2:00 – After the jump, check out The Brackets:

The movies have been selected after a one-week period of Gmail conversations/arguments with a dozen of my friends (including Michelle), and I’ve taken upon myself the unenviable task of narrowing down the list from about 250 to 64 and creating the brackets. I’ve tried to do my best to distinguish between “really 90s” movies and just famous movies from the 90s, and I’ve attempted to scale the list down by reducing redundancies (e.g. leaving Clerks and cutting Mallrats and Chasing Amy) and by cutting movies that didn’t take place in the 90s, as 90s as they may be (pains me to lose Demolition Man, but without this distinction there’s at least another 40 movies that belong).

Here are the Brackets for 90s Movie Madness:

Bracket A:

The toughest group to cut were the really awesome 90s movies that weren’t really that funny in their 90s-ness; Pulp Fiction, Big Lebowski, Terminator 2, The Matrix and a handful of others are just really awesome movies that could probably be released today with almost zero changes and fit perfectly. A film like Silence of the Lambs, however, while it’s also a great film, is just so synonymous with the 90s with its characters, quotes, the billion of crappy knock-offs it inspired, and so on (again, very scientific).

The other tough group to cut were ones that made us laugh just by mentioning them but that just weren’t popular enough to make the list — Cool As Ice, Cool World, Toys, Wolf, Little Giants, and a bunch more also fell into this category. There were too many funny but at least semi-memorable films that just pushed ones like Andre off the list.

Anyway…hopefully this gives you some idea of the tough decisions I wrestled with when cutting literally 190 movies (Sophie never faced anything close to this). Feel free argue on behalf of any that I left out in the comments (or even, maybe, compliment the bracket? Anyone?) My conclusion from this process: A lot of movies were really frickin’ 90s.