We haven’t done a random ‘music argument’ list in a while, so here’s a topic for discussion: Really lame bands with really intense band names. As in, bands whose actual music doesn’t live up to the aggressiveness, violence, or intensity implied by their band name, often to hilarious degrees.
A CRUCIAL DISTINCTION: “Lame” does not necessarily mean “Bad”. I enjoy many of the bands on this list – I enjoy Billy Joel too, for example, but Billy Joel is overwhelmingly lame, and these things are not mutually exclusive.
Here are The 15 Lamest Bands With Intense Names, ordered by increasing discrepancy between “Name Intensity” and “Music Lameness”, using official science:
15. Five For Fighting
The band name connotes “Five Minutes” for a fighting penalty in ice hockey, or just five people who are “for” fighting, two concepts that are both slightly incongruous with the ever-so-whinily delivered lyric “Only a man in a funny red sheet / Looking for special things inside of me.” THEM’S FIVETIN’ WORDS! (That means starting five fights)
14. Savage Garden
sav·age – adjective
1. fierce, ferocious, or cruel; untamed: savage beasts.
2. uncivilized; barbarous: savage tribes.
3. desiring to stand with you on a mountain, bathe with you in the sea, live like this forever until the sky falls down on me.
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Here’s the trailer for Baz Luhrmann’s The Great Gatsby, starring Leo DiCaprio and Care-o Mullgs (I’m on nickname terms with both). Remember when you first heard that Baz Luhrmann was directing a Great Gatsby movie, and you immediately pictured in your head an exaggerated version of what that would look like? Well, the movie is that.
