With news this past week that Larry Flynt’s Hustler Productions completed their Sarah Palin porn spoof called Who’s Nailin’ Paylin’, (yes with a “Y”….c’mon, it’s fictional), it’s safe to say that porn is remaining tapped into the cultural market (That’swhatshesaid). This is a little ridiculous (but what do you expect from the industry that brought you “Forrest Hump”?). This video from BNE’s own Craig Rowin harkens back to a simpler time, when adult themes weren’t as complicated as today. Slightly NSFW for some mentions of “novelties”.
Best Week Ever's Archive
OctoberFriday
Now You Can Indie Rock Out Like It’s 1999
Remember the simpler days of indie rock, before American Apparel was everywhere, there were no bands with the word “Panda” or “Wolf” in their name, and you could just be a wuss that loved to hear someone rock out on a piano about their breakups? Yes, the days of Ben Folds Five, the pre-2000′s era that brought us the mainstream sniffler “Brick” and other gems like “Song for the Dumped” (regular and Japanese verision). I recently heard that BFF was reuniting to perform their last album as a band, The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner, in it’s entirety in Chapel Hill, NC, the band’s home (and my alma mater….go, go you sweet Tar Heels). I was really bummed that I couldn’t go, what with the jet-setting lifestyle I had, I was in Tokyo with Barack Obama and Diddy, so I had to miss it. But yesterday MySpace announced they are streaming THE ENTIRE SHOW WITH INTERVIEWS FROM THE BAND from their site. The show is really good and the interviews are interesting. Head over there and see what you missed. And check up on all those “friend requests” from “Nadya” and “Kyla” who just want to be your friend and have you come check out their secret sexy pictures at “this link”.
OctoberFriday
Best Night Ever for Thursday, October 23rd!
Hold onto your hats there pardners, it’s the Best Night Ever! Quit yer’ whining, pull up a chair and catch up with good TV from Thursday with ol’ Craig Rowin and see what tender gold nuggets he found on The Office and Survivor! Go on…git in there!
Hay! I heard Craig’s got himself a website! Go there now pardner!
OctoberThursday
AD WIZARDS: Global Warming Giving Animals Some Serious Seasonal Affective Disorder
If this is what global warming will do to our planet then I really wanna figure out a solution soon. Look, I like having a personal smoke stack as much as the next guy, but consequences like the ones in this ad are alarming. See for yourself:
I mean once you go to the zoo as an adult you start to notice some sad faces on animals. But nothing like this. Could we at least set up a hotline for these animals with someone to talk to before they take these drastic measures? That’s probably not the best solution since only the monkey could use it, him being the only one with opposable thumbs. But it’s better than the awful alternative that he uses his hands for here. The only thing more depressing would be if someone put Nine Inch Nails’ Hurt under this video. I don’t even wanna think about that. I did find a version with the Benny Hill show song behind it. That made it mildly less depressing. And if Benny Hill can’t fix it, you know it’s bad.
OctoberThursday
POLITICS BEHIND THE SCENES: GOP Huggin’
The election clock is winding down and Sarah P. and McMaverick are wearin’ out the campaign trail. We’ve seen so much of them separately but how are John and Sarah doing together as a unit? BWE.tv has obtained a behind the scenes look at the GOP interpersonal trail.
Sarah Palin: Oh Hiya Cindy, how are you? Beeeyutiful day here, hah?
Cindy McCain: Hiiii Sarah. Have you talked to John? He was lookin’ for you. He’d really like to see you.
Sarah Palin: Ohhhhh, okaaaay. See ya later. Nice blaayzer!
OctoberThursday
SIGNS OF THE APOCALYPSE: Guns N’ Roses To Finally Release “Chinese Democracy”
Guns N’ Roses announced today they are finally releasing their long awaited album Chinese Democracy. This album is 17 years in the making and Gn’R has cried wolf several times before, but this time it looks official. So official that Guns N’ Roses’ official website sports a countdown to the official release. Which is a big deal because mind you, the last time Gn’R released an album, websites didn’t really exist all that much. What does this all mean?
If this album if actually released THE WORLD WILL END.
Is it any coincidence that we are running out of numbers on the national debt clock and then this clock pops up on the internet?
Is it possible that Gn’R have been doomsday prophets all along? And Welcome to The Jungle was a metaphor for the beginnings of Hell? If this is true, we are all doomed.
And Axl will come not riding in a rock n’ limo, but on a horse….
OctoberThursday
WWPFTD?: Paul F. Tompkins Gives You Much Needed Life Advice
Gentle Readers:
I’m sure you see me on the TV screen and think, “I wish I could talk to that guy. I want to ask him questions and have him tell me how to live my life.†Well, somebody here forced me to make your beautiful dream come true! Send your questions here to me and I’ll give you the best advice I feel like giving!
Just part of my contract,
Paul
Dear Paul F. Tompkins,
My son, who is nine, has never been into sports or guns or typical “boy stuff.†I know it makes my husband a little uncomfortable, but he tries to be as supportive as he can. The other day, my son came to me and said that for Halloween this year, he’s decided to dress as a lady! I’m predicting my husband will freak out, so I’m asking, WWPFTD?
Sincerely,
Kelly T.
Dear Kells:
I like that your son said “a lady†instead of “some broadâ€. He sounds like a class act, like Michael Feinstein. I can only assume your husband is afraid that your son might be gay. I only say this because your son is obviously gay. So then I’d remind your husband that it’s 2008 and being gay is not a strike against his son, who is his own flesh and blood. Also, if a nine year old boy is dressing like a lady for Hallowe’en, he sounds like a badass. He clearly doesn’t care if other kids might give him a hard time; he’s got his priorities straight. Priority #1: be outrageous. Tell your husband to relax. This kid’s gonna be fine.
OctoberThursday
The Most Whistle-riffic Tweetastic Songs That Use Ref Whistles
Music is a an everchanging art form that grows and evolves with new styles and techniques, new artists and sounds. Remember the keytar? They didn’t have that instrument of the angels 100 years ago. The beatbox? An instrument of the mouth that really blew up in the 80′s. But what I like are the instruments that aren’t instruments at all – until some genius decides, “Hey, that’d sound bangin’ in a song! Let’s use it! High fives!” Enter the Ref whistle. Once used only for sporting events, by traffic cops, and gym teachers, the Ref whistle has become an exclamation point in music to say, “Hey,I just blew that Ref whistle and you know what that means…let’s get this party goin’!” Here are some prime examples:
OctoberThursday
POP CULTURE COOKBOOK: Marilyn Manson’s Spooky Spooning Spectacular
Ingredients
1 big spoon
1 little spoon
Your scary aunt’s best kissy face
Her lipstick
You Will Also Need
2 tickets to The Dope Show
1 shipment Suncreen, SPF infinity
Cooking Directions
1. Swirl powder brush in uncut cocaine, tap off excess, and lightly dust cheekbones
2. With lipstick in fist, apply liberally to mouth area and blindfolded friend
3. Nestle him/her in your leather coat to while the cameras flash
4. Fly on broomstick to Estonia, the only country where your album is #1 (fact.)
5. Cuddle.
(Ed. Note: Read more of Intern Emmy’s musings over at her blog, EmmyBlotnick.com)
OctoberThursday
Best Night Ever for Wednesday, October 22nd!
While you were yuppin’ it up at your fancy schmancy parties, Leslie Collins was having her Best Night Ever! Get fancy pants with the classiest moments from Deal or No Deal, Knight Rider and Stylista! Come on, you know you wanna take a swig of this high dollar night!
