JulyI don’t know why Jim Carrey is doing this to us, but here he is in a onesie swimsuit that exists in defiance of all rightness and order in the universe. No man should wear that, ever. Not even as a joke. NEVER. I just Number 23′ed all over myself.
(via Yeeeah!)
JulyDavid Allen Coe once said that the perfect Country and Western song would have to include mention of “mama, trains, trucks, prison, and gettin’ drunk”. While I personally would have added “putting boots in asses of terrorists” to that list, the question of what constitutes the perfect Country & Western made-for-cable-TV movie may have been answered with the creation of CMT’s upcoming movie Beer For My Horses. After watching the trailer a few times, I still have absolutely no idea what Beer For My Horses could possibly be about, but it has something to do with shooting guns, car crashes, funny hats, riding in trucks, men in pink underwear, elbowing people in the face, and shooting more guns. Whatever happens, it would appear that Toby Keith might just be a few “Git’ Er Done’s” shy of making the perfect Country & Western made-for-cable-TV movie. Be sure to set your TiVo’s (I mean VHS recorders).
(via The Hater)
JulyThe paparazzi spotted hot Hollywood power couple Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman (aka. “DeRheato”) out and about at Nobu this weekend, having a romantic dinner together. If only all famous couples could be this adorable.
(via BuzzFoto)
JulyWhat are you doing lighting fireworks and having BBQ’s today, people? There’s some great sales out there. I mean rock-bottom prices. Emphasis on the bottom.
(via CC Insider)
JulyWhat better way to celebrate our freedom than an obese man carving a sculpture of the signing of the Declaration of Independence out of cheese as part of a publicity stunt for Cheez-It? Happy f*cking birthday, America!
After the jump, another picture of the completed masterpiece.
July
Anyone who has ever wandered into an American Apparel and found themselves wondering just what the hell went wrong with their generation will likely enjoy “Hipsters In Space” new video from Current’s Super News (who seem to just keep churning out the hits). In the (hopefully) near future, hipsters have fled the earth to the final frontier of pre-gentrified cheap living that hasn’t been, like, totally lamed up with corporate bullsh*t: outer space. But when their utopian, retardedly naive and adolescent new way of life is threatened by a space creature who has declared himself “Destroyer of Hipsters”, will their buzzes be, like, harshed forever, or will they be saved at the last second by some dipsh*t who calls himself a DJ!?!
Watch the video after the jump to find out! Or don’t. Whatever.
July
From our friend Rob Huebel comes this terrifying new thing that exists, a hat made of human hair, sculpted to look like the head of giraffe. I have no idea. Even worse, there is a whole line of vaguely disturbing animal-head-hair-hats with options ranging from pig to deer to lion to walrus. Yes, walrus. I have no idea why these exist, but they shouldn’t.
July
July
So after the nightmare that was Kissing With Ross, and our own even more terrible and disgusting How Not To Kiss, I received the following e-mail from Ross himself:
From: Ross
To: Alex Blagg
Subject: think you can outkiss me?alex.
nice little kissy kiss video today. but i got news for you, friend. YOU CAN’T STEP TO THIS.
http://www.KissingBackWithRoss.com
oh, and happy birthday. this is the icing on the cake.
love,
ross
I beg you not to click the link above. What you will find there is unimaginably horrifying. But clearly Ross means business, and I’m unsure what to do at this juncture. Do I take his bait and try to outkiss him, which would lead to some kind of terrible escalating battle of awfulness, like in that movie where the kid goes ))<>((, back and forth, forever? I tried to think of what kind of video we could make in response, but things got illegal pretty quickly. I was going to do a “How To Get To Second Base” video, but found that I was uncomfortable showing my sunken pasty chest and unattractive nipples to the Internet. I need ideas, or Ross wins. What do you guys think?
Michelle Collins
Managing Editor
Dan Hopper
Senior Editor
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