• 9 February
    Tuesday

    Brooklyn Decker’s Topless Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover

    In its ongoing effort to be as close to porn as it can be without actually being porn, because it can’t be porn, even though all anyone cares about seeing is porn, Sports Illustrated unveiled the cover of its new 2010 Swimsuit Issue today featuring a topless Brooklyn Decker, wife of tennis star Andy Roddick:

    If only there were some way to see women actually naked on the internet, perhaps by, I don’t know, inserting a floppy disk and booting kilobytes of world wide web? Grrrrrrr!!! It’s too hard!!!

    A much HOTTER pic of Brooklyn Decker, after the jump:

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  • 9 February
    Tuesday

    Martini Minute with New Kids on the Block: On Sex, Hangin’ Tough & Debbie Gibson

    If you would have told my 9 year old self that almost 20 years later I would be coming face to face (“Or breasts to face in some instances.” — 6 ft. tall me) with New Kids on the Block, I probably would have slapped you in the face, slammed my door, slapped some bracelets on my wrists and spooned my body pillow for hours on end, weeping from nerves at the thought. Never really did have too many friends as a child.

    Thankfully, NKOTB did not hold these awkward early years against me as they agreed to sit down with me for another installment of “Martini Minute.” The room was admittedly cramped over at Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, where we met merely hours before their solid Late Night performance.

    And there they sat, the 5 of them — Joey McIntyre, Danny Wood, Donnie Wahlberg, Jordan and Jonathan Knight — looking hotter than I even remembered, and ready to bare all about what life was like on the road and beyond as one of America’s most beloved boy bands. We cover everything: Debbie Gibson, the fans, sexual point systems, kneetouches, upcoming gigs, and most importantly… rat tails.

    This interview will answer at least 9 of your most burning NKOTB questions. Here’s to you, Danny Wood. *clink*

    So… who’s coming on the NKOTB cruise with me?

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    Click here to check out other Martini Minute’s!

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  • 9 February
    Tuesday

    An Important Message to All of Our Readers

    Because we don’t say it often enough…

    I’ve watched this 200 times in the past 45 seconds.

    (via Justin Purnell)

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  • 8 February
    Monday

    The Super Babies of the Super Bowl LXIV

    Last night’s Superbowl XLIV was watched by a record 106 million viewers, with almost half of those viewers likely being Ladies. You may not have realized this from the marathon of commercials showing women getting the ess kicked out of them, but indeed, there was a slew of Double-X Chromies tuned in. Sure, a lot of ladies love football – myself included (one day a year) – but what of the women that hate it? The woman that slave all day long over a hot oven, toasting their nachos just so, basting buckets of wings in sauce while their beloved Tim Allen Stereotype sits outside, a veritable chicken bone chipper? How on Earth are they supposed to enjoy the game???

    Simple.

    SUPERBOWL BABIES!!!!

    Between Drew Brees and Scott Fujitsu’s offspring, from Suri Cruise to the Jolie-Pitt brethren, there was plenty of ovarian eye-candy to keep us gals occupied, weeping over our knitting needles, crouched over our washboards, while the boys seemingly had all the fun. And yes, I’m being sarcastic — GUYS LIKE BABIES TOO!!!! Enjoy this very special gallery of all the adorable Super Bowl Super Babies ahead.


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  • 8 February
    Monday

    10 Super Bowl XLIV Pun Headlines

    I gotta say, as a football fan, I was thrilled to biscuits about last night’s Super Bowl (expression for the new millennium), but as a connoisseur of forced puns, I’m somewhat disappointed with this year’s crop of Super Bowl headlines.

    Let’s take a spin through 10 Super Bowl pun/jokey headlines from major publications — they’re mostly decent, but there’s a lot of overlap and nothing that screams “Super Bowl Of Awful Pun Headlines”. No “Winning Is A Brees”, no “MAN-ning, What A Bad Throw”, and not even a “Saints Misbehavin’, By Which We Mean Winning!”


    1. CBS.com:


    2. New York Times:


    3. New York Post:


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  • 8 February
    Monday

    VIDEO: Never Look Into A Mirror When You’re In A Horror Movie, Dumbass

    I have a sweet idea for a movie scene: Someone’s looking in the mirror, and you assume there’s no one behind them because why would there be? It’s just a mirror. Then they adjust the mirror slightly and OHMYGOD THERE IS IN FACT SOMEONE BEHIND THEM IT’S A MONSTER!!!!!!!

    Wait, it’s been done? How many times?

    (via FourFour)

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  • 8 February
    Monday

    Dolph Lundgren Becomes the David Hasselhoff of Swedish Television

    Before seeing the following video, our knowledge of Dolph Lundgren primarily stemmed off of two things: Our favorite childhood skin flick Masters of the Universe, and Johnny Mnemonic, the most ridiculous cinematic adventure of our time:

    Also known as “My Source for Every Computer Wallpaper, Ever.” We’ve always known Dolph as a giant, stiff, Nazi-faced robot who could recite lines better than Abba at a karaoke party on ‘ludes. But what we didn’t know is that this giant, stiff, Nazi-faced robot can also SING! And play DRUMS! Just like the Phil Collins gorilla!

    This clip of Dolph Lundgren performing “A Little Less Conversation” on our new favorite Swedish show “Melodifestivalen” (The Festival of Melodies) will BLOW YOUR F**KING MIND APART. Dolph lipsynchs, he dances, he breaks apart GIANT ICE CUBES. The last minute alone will not be required listening for every single future sexual encounter I ever have again. Here is video proof that Dolph Lundgren is not just a 7 foot tall steel beam in a blond wig:

    Epilogue: Dolph is clearly an alien.

    (via ONTD)

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  • 8 February
    Monday

    Your Complete Super Bowl XLIV Crazed Fan Gallery

    (Getty Images)

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  • 8 February
    Monday

    FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: The Ads of Superbowl XLIV


    TRADE THE PHONE WITH A PLUGGED-IN TOASTER AND YOU’VE GOT OUR FAVORITE AD OF THE NIGHT


    MOST HEARTCLUTCHING BABY COW FANTASY




    | MySpace Video

    MOST SYMPATHETIC PORTRAYAL OF CHICKEN VAGINAS




    | MySpace Video

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  • 8 February
    Monday

    The Old “Legs Sticking Out Of The Snow” Prank

    Here’s an interesting photo/caption from the front page of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette today following the city’s near-record 20 inches of snowfall over the weekend:

    Gotcha! You emergency workers TOTALLY thought there was a dead guy, but it was just the ol’ “upside-down legs sticking out of the snowbank” gag! LOLZ!!! Looks like a real life DENNIS THE MENACE is on the loose, gettin’ into some tomfoolery!

    The story’s gonna seem considerably less amusing when they discover an actual Pittsburgher upside-down and dead in a snow bank after having to watch a Steeler-less Super Bowl. Lest we forget the story of the Boy Who Cried Upside-Down Dead Guy In Snow.

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