Kirstie Alley is back, y’all! After blowing up the joint with Fat Actress, Kirstie Alley’s Big Life, and on Dancing With The Stars, the proudly rotund rapscallion is now channeling her Xenu-driven energy into a new sitcom for ABC. Called The Manzanis, the show is being called “a new take on Roseanne,” in which Alley stars as a “very opinionated wife/mother who, along with her family, moves to repressed country-club town.” Um, okay! (Tim Allen and Nancy Travis are coming back to TV, so why not just pretend it’s 1996 altogether?)
Now, with Kirstie Alley, everyone knows the fat jokes come easy. So easy, in fact, that almost all of her recent projects have been in reaction to her massive weight gain (and subsequent loss). With that said, who’s gonna watch a show called The Manzanis when, instead, you could watch a show with a very funny name relating to Kirstie Alley being an XL loudmouth?
Here are some alternative titles that are not only more appropriate, but much more likely to :”satisfy your appetite” (sorry) for fat jokes, which are just the worst. And, today, so are we.
25. Let’s Make A Veal
24. Go Big Or Go Home Or Go To The Cheesecake Factory
23. Weight, Weight, Don’t Tell Me
22. The Golden [Cheese] Curls
21. Auntie Anne & Friends
20. Adventures In Roadkill
19. Kirstie’s Thirsty
18. Cheese Wheel Of Fortune
17. Meal Or No Meal
16. Law & Order: Special Doughnut Unit
15. Mad About Ragu
14. Undercover Cake Boss
13. Big: 30 Years Later
12. The Art Of Doritos
11. Find The Beef
10. Yo! MTV Unwraps
9. Forever Thanksgiving (it’s like Groundhog Day, but with more food)
8. The People’s Food Court
7. Saved By The Babybel
6. Meet My Personal Chef: Paula Deen
5. Lambchop & Friends 2.0
4. The Amazing Race To Sonic
3. The Lo Mein Attraction
2. The Real Keebler Elfwives Of The Hollow Tree
1. BACON BACON BACON MMM MMM MMM BACON!!!
