BREAKING MEWS: Fattest Cat In The World Loses 6 Pounds

This is Otto, who used to be the Fattest Cat In The World, weighing in at an amazing 36 pounds. To give you an idea, that’s like a person weighing over 500 pounds. The only difference being that a morbidly obese person is kind of sad to look at where as a morbidly obese cat is adorable and a gift and I want to put my feet on it in the winter. That is, in fact, where Otto got his name from. Otto… short for ottoman.

Anyway, good news!! Otto, thanks to the care of some people who hate living nerf rugby balls, went on a diet! And he had his big reveal this morning on The Today Show’s Joy Fit Club, which is kind of like the Joy Luck Club, only less Asian and not as thin. And while we were waiting for Joy to reveal a cat so thin we would have though someone found him under a box on Hoarders, we see, instead, this:

Otto’s big transformation ahead…

MMhmm… Otto has lost only 6 measly pounds. Sure, they can “try” to convince us that that’s like 100 pounds in cat weight, but come on… that’s something like 3 Fancy Feast goblets worth of poundage.

And for those of you who aren’t quite feeling my obsession with obese cats, I present you with a photo of my now dead family cat Lutzy wearing a karate belt. I miss that fat son of a bitch so much.

And because I am nothing if not a fat cat historian, here is an ULTRA-SERIOUS news report about Otto’s fatness from February.