In all my years of being human, I never knew it was possible for turtles to be the size of a single grape. Then I saw this photo of a one-month old Egyptian tortoise at ZSL Whipsnade Zoo in Bedfordshire, and was like “Wait a minute: I almost definitely have eaten one of these on accident.” Thankfully (or not, really), these small turtles are endangered, which means he’s getting the best of care at the zoo. They even built a miniature home for him, where he likes to walk from the kitchen to the living room at roughly .00000000000926 MPH.
I want to hug him, but I know deep down I would kill him. This is my curse.
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