Dear Dawn, let’s chat. I use you. I wash my dishes with you and sometimes, only my hands. You are a good dish washing liquid, Dawn. And according to your ADORABLE commercial, you even help clean the oil off of birds and otters caught in an oil spill. I cry suds of joy while watching it, because it is the sweetest thing on television.
I had the GIF you see here made and slowed down so that we, as a country and globe, can marvel at his sweet little otter face and minnnnnniature otter arm. I want to feel those soapy little otter fingers paw their way all over my face as we play in the sand. But these are inside thoughts that I shouldn’t be writing about.
I loved this commercial so much that I asked my coworker to make a GIF of the otter getting a bath, so that I could marvel at this moment whenever I wanted. My instructions were “Please make a GIF of the otter in the bath, and slow it down so it’s almost sexual.” Wikipedia reference number here. Let’s make it [7]
And so, the above GIF became a reality and I thought my work here was done.
And then… I noticed this:
Sim… Simulated Demonstration? Are you saying that the ducks and otters we see in the ad were covered in black oil on purpose so that we may see some anonymous glove-hands rinsing them off?? Um wait, isn’t that the dictionary definition of animal abuse?? Or is that oil actually some sort of delicious beef liquid that the animals enjoyed having drizzled on them? Any way you slice it, this is absolutely unacceptable!
(3 minute pause)
OK, I’m back to watching the clip. It’s pretty cute. Bigger GIF version ahead, beware if you are using the computer at your parents’ house…
I just poured myself a glass of white wine and canceled my nighttime plans to watch this forever:
