Well color me perpetuating something awful that is essentially just advertising but also bad jokes plus Ashton Kutcher. Color me that. Is there a Crayola crayon color that is that? Because that’s what I should be colored as. Because I’m posting this:
Yes Man #1: Oh man, Ashton, you are hilarious!
Yes Man #2: Yeah, Ashton, you’re the king!
Yes Man #3: You mean, the President!
Yes Man #4: Of Pop Culture!
Yes Man #3 and Yes Man #4 high five and chest bump
Ashton: Guys, I’m just a normal dude…who happens to be awesome looking and boning Demi Moore! And possibly someone else!
Ashton high fives down the line from Yes Man #1 to Yes Man #32
Ashton: You know who isn’t funny? Women. All women.
Yes Man #24: You got that right, Ashton!
Ashton: Where’s my f*cking money from Popchips? I not this f*cking hilarious and goddamn good-looking for f*cking free!
Yes Man #15: No way, Ashton! I’ll go get your money! Want some of my money first? God, you’re so hilarious! Did I say that?
Ashton: Yeah, you did. So you can suck my d*ck!
Beat
Ashton erupts into laughter, closely followed by Yes Man #1-Yes Man #32. After 5 minutes Ashton stops laughing. The Yes Men continue.
Ashton: SHUT THE F*CK UP!
The Yes Men continue to laugh, thinking Ashton is still joking.
Ashton takes out his gun and shoots them all. Standing amidst the carnage, he starts to laugh again.
Ashton: God, I’m f*cking funny.
FIN
