Today in “People Smuggling Crazy Crap Onto Planes And Getting Caught” news – A guy in Malaysia tries to sneak 97 snakes and a turtle through security:
The smuggler, who recently served 6 years in a U.S. prison for similar crimes, was detained by authorities at the airport in Kuala Lumpur earlier this week after airport employees spotted the rare reptiles slithering out of his busted suitcase as it passed down a conveyor belt.
According to reports, inspectors found 95 boa constrictors, two venomous rhinoceros vipers and, for good measure, a mata mata turtle.
What an idiot! Snakes On A Plane happened YEARS ago. I mean, if the guy’s intentions were to get caught and provide online news wires with countless softballed “Snakes On A Plane For Real Actually!” headlines, he really should’ve been on top of this many, many months ago. Or at least waited for a sequel. Or a “Snakes” franchise reboot starring Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as Samuel L. Jackson and Samuel L. Jackson as his father.
Either way, I think we know what officials said when they apprehended the man:
