Behold, the reality that is Burger King’s new Pizza Burger: A limited-time item at New York’s Whopper Bar that’s “designed to be shared and pays homage to the city it calls home.” It also has 2,520 calories:
2,520 calories becomes marginally less absurd when the thing’s shared, but still, it’s a giant ring of meat equal to 4 Whopper patties with pepperoni and mozzarella cheese — the internet already made fun of this thing when the rumors came out, and there’s no way BK was gonna unveil this thing without the internet continuing to making fun of it.
My theory: Fast food has become self-aware. The public’s humorous, disbelieving “How fat are they trying to make us??” reactions to items like the KFC Bowl and the Double Down have become, ironically, massive publicity generators for those items, and Burger King is releasing this giant fat-ring with the full knowledge that its absurdity will get people talking. About how it’s a physical sandwich embodiment of the sound Jimi Hendrix made while choking to death on his vomit, sure, but talking nonetheless.
Basically, fast food has grown a conscience, like Skynet, and is launching its nuclear missiles. Though this sandwich will result in way more deaths.
