It’s basically a fact that once you have your girlfriend or boyfriend star in your music video or get a tattoo of their name/visage, your relationship is not long for this world. I suppose this might extend to US Weekly covers that proclaim that you’re back together and in love, despite the odds. That’s definition jinxing a relationship. So, it comes as no surprise, on just so many levels, that Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have broken up again.
Palin, 19, says the relationship soured on July 14, the very same day they announced their marriage intentions to the world. Palin says he told her that evening he might have fathered a baby with another teenage girl. (Palin did not name the young woman, but a pregnant former girlfriend of Johnston’s has since publicly denied his paternity.)
This happened on July 14th? Ah, the old Bastille Day curse. That’s a thing, right? Anyway, Insult, you seem a little alone. Levi would like to add some Injury:
“The final straw was him flying to Hollywood for what he told me was to see some hunting show but come to find out it was that music video mocking my family,” she says. “He’s just obsessed with the limelight and I got played.”
Sympathy points deducted for the use of the phrase, “I got played.” However, I totally understand why you would believe that Levi was flying to LA to watch a hunting show. That’s classic Levi.
Now, no matter how we feel about them or their parents as people, the mockery well is poisoned as it were, because their kid, Tripp, is involved. I’m feeling pretty bad for the little dude who was born into this terribleness. I do not know which parent I would prefer him to take after. Levi-no, Bristol! No, Lev-. Eff it. Tripp, run away and join the Mouseketeers as soon as you can so you can be as far away from your family as humanly possible. Wait, the Mouseketeers might not still exist-join the cast of iCarly. Once you’ve established yourself as a Mouseketeer/iCarly cast member, your parents won’t stop you because they respect show business. Then, on your 16th birthday, emancipate yourself and become a successful pop star. Then everything will be fine.
