So Lindsay Lohan might leave jail as early as Sunday, August 1st. I never really thought about this, but apparently the 30 seconds from the jail house door to the car is, like, the most important 30 seconds of a young, famous felon’s life, looks-wise.
There is a small, dirty public bathroom in the reception area that she will be allowed to use briefly before she leaves,” an insider very familiar with Century Regional Correctional Facility tells me. “She will not be allowed to plug in a hairdryer and get a blow out and she can forget about using a flattening iron. There will be no full-length mirror and only if the corrections officers decide to be nice will they close the area to the public.
You hear that? You can just FORGET about a flattening iron. Were you thinking about a flattening iron? DON’T. FORGET IT. Straight up MEMENTO that S.
Also:
When Paris Hilton left the same prison a few years ago, image experts choreographed her 30-second walk to her waiting SUV step by step, even down to when she cried out “mommy.” Lindsay’s exit will be no different and it has already been decided she will leave wearing her own 6126 by Lindsay Lohan brand of leggings.
Let’s just all take a second to reassure ourselves that good does exist in the world. Ummmm. My friend bought me a delicious dinner last night. OK, cool. Phew. I’ll close the window now.
