Step 1: Choose celebrity look-a-like sperm donor.
Step 2: Make baby.
Thanks to the California Cryobank, now even the homeliest of wombs can bake the most beautiful of babies. That’s because, while the Los Angeles based sperm bank isn’t allowed to show you photos of their roster of men who have masturbated in a hospital bathroom, they will gladly tell you which celebrity these men resemble. This news report does more explaining than I ever could:
I took a quick look at the Look-A-Likes finder over at Cryobank.com and was literally stunned with the amount of celebrity lookalike sperm choices being offered to me. Imagine, I could birth a baby with Paul Rudd’s eyes, Puff Daddy’s mouth, Billy Baldwin’s hair, and Billy Baldwin’s nose. Wait, in fact, why don’t I just tell you which celebrities I’d like my baby to look like:
MY DREAM SPERM BANK BABY
It is very important that my baby look like YOUNG Timothy Hutton with all the physical prowess of an old Yao Ming. Now, to get my insemination on and take this future superstar baby all the way to the cry-o-bank.
OK, fess up: What would your perfect celebrity baby sperm look like? Sorry, I meant the baby. Sperm looks pretty much like all other sperm. Wait, how is that racist??
